Quirky Cori

Tearjerker

2012-01-24T04:36:00.000-08:00

Today I find myself reminded of my mom.

Today would be her birthday.

I still find it incredibly difficult to imagine that she's gone. That we aren't going to get a phone call. That she won't be there when we pop in for a visit. That she isn't going to walk around the corner. That she won't tell me my hair is getting grey and I need to dye it. We won't hear her criticism and we won't hear her praise.

My mom was a very important aspect of my life. It pains me, today of all days, to think that I no longer have her in my life.

And I know I've said it before, she's still in my heart and in my memories. And I can try and live in her image. But not having her here really hurts today.

Mom, I miss you. I miss all that you are about and all that you were. I miss your smile. I miss your laughter. I miss your uniquely coloured eyes and you twirling your hair.

I miss you.

Best Friends 4 Ever....

2012-01-21T17:30:00.001-08:00

I spent this morning with my best friends and I was reminded again how having multiple best friends is better than only having one best friend.

It is great having a best friend. Do not get me wrong, having a single best friend can be great. But it can also be incredibly hard work. Over the years I've had many times where I only had one best friend, but in those times I found that I always felt guilty doing anything with other friends. I felt like my best friend would feel completely left out if I didn't do everything with them.

And then there came the not knowing how much time is too much time to spend together. And how often do we need to talk for us to still be best friends.

My husband has accused me of making friends too easily sometimes. This has bothered some of my former best friends. They didn't generally have the same experience and would feel that I wasn't being true to their friendship because they felt they were being left out.

Having 4 best friends right now, plus my husband who is I suppose my true best friend, means that they all know about each other. They don't get mad when I spend time doing something with the other and they can hang out together without me. We all have different relationships with each other, and I'm sure some of them don't even count the other as a best friend. But they are best friends to me.

In 2011 I lived through one of the most heartbreaking and difficult times of my life. My best friends were all there for me. They brought me wine and food. They sat with me while I tried to rationalize what was going on in my head. They silently encouraged me and checked in on me to make sure that I was okay. And they were there for me in ways that I don't even think they knew about.

Their stories and adventures kept me going. Their willingness to take me out of my shell and to get me laughing even when I didn't want to, all meant so much for me. It was a simple twitter message. A simple posting of a picture on facebook. It was fairly regular emails. It was cheesecake on a patio. It was a glass of wine, a cooler full of food and a glass of wine.

I kind of closed myself off last year. But my friends didn't care. They were still there for me. If I needed them, they'd be there. They were there in the days, weeks and months of my mom's dying. They were with me in the days, weeks and months afterwards. They have been there for me and I hope that I have been able to let them understand how important that has been to me.

Having a singular best friend is a great thing. But many is an even better thing, and I'm incredibly lucky because I've got the absolute best of them. Friendships that just get better as we age and as we experience more and more together. Like a fine wine, my friends just get better with age.

So to my best friends, I love you all. Thank you for making my life better, for always being there for me and for ALWAYS making me feel loved.

Writing again

2012-01-14T15:36:00.000-08:00

I'm writing again. Eeek!

As many of you know, I've signed up for a creative writing course on Romantic Writing. We can't completely call it a genre, as when you start to look into it further you realize there are so many different variations and lengths of stories involved. For a better idea - Harlequin has much of it broken down here: http://www.harlequin.com/articlepage.html?articleId=538&chapter=0

Friday was my first day of the course. I've been chomping at the bit to get in there and find out what it's all about. I have never done online learning, so I'm not 100% what to expect, but when I logged on I found things to be fairly straight forward. It was the first week and we already had a discussion topic that they've asked all of us to answer. The instructor basically wanted us to tell them who we are, where we came from and what brought us to the course. And then they asked us to tell what we like about romance writing as a reader.

Fairly straight forward right?

Not for me.

I over-analyze everything. Odd, since when I write it's basically verbal diarrhea coming out of my mouth. (or written diarrhea as the case may be.) I started to put some things down and then realized that when I went back to the site, that other people in the course had written something already. It's interesting that we are able to see each others writing, but I know this is to generate discussion and not for assignments. (Even if it's worth 10% of our final grade in the course.)

With incredible apprehension I decided to check out what was written. I found that the people there seemed pretty genuine, but so different than me. It seemed they had only read the question at the top of the page and none of the other content on the site and then wrote a little blurb. There were spelling and grammar mistakes - something that I would think anyone taking a writing course would do their best to avoid. I tried not to judge, but it was hard not to. These are people that I feel I'm going to be compared to for the entire duration of the program - 4 months of us going against each other for assignments and grades.

Okay, let's be honest, I'm a bit of a nerd. I did really well in any of my English courses in school and I've always loved writing. Therefore I was very surprised by the responses to the questions. I thought everyone would be as thorough as I was planning to be - that everyone would go into detail to answer all of the questions. Instead it was more informal and natural.

The instructor had already answered 3 of the submissions that were in before the end of business today and she seemed very friendly and welcoming to all of them. I felt a little stumped. Here I was having to write something and slowly realizing that I was in this program for some slightly different reasons than the other people were - two were just taking courses because they like to write and are waiting for the next phase of their education, and one was taking the course so that she can help build on how to write relationships-but she had already completed a full novel.

I felt that in many respects, I was light years ahead and yet also completely behind. I've been published, something the three others had not really been. I used to work at a newspaper. But as anyone who has worked in the industry can tell you, being a journalist and being a fiction writer are two very different beasts. One tells the facts and the other is creative and often lives in a fantasy world.

And so I decided that this was where I was going to start.

I am a writer who has lost her way.

And it was with that, that I started to do more research into romance writing. It was then that I started to see that there was more than just writing about heaving bossums and strong male leads, although if that's what you are into writing you can. I realized that there is a very strong place for me in romantic fiction and within a few hours, ideas came to my mind. I started writing some things down and then ultimately turned it into the beginnings of a story.

I am 732 words into the story of Eloise and I have a long way to go. But it's a start. I feel like I'm not just a writer that has lost her way anymore. I am a writer. I am creative and I can do this. I'm going to give it my all to actually finish what I start.

I meant what I said to my course:

"I no longer want to be the woman with her nose in a book, I want to be the woman with her name ON the book."

My day at the Psychic Expo

2012-01-09T10:52:00.000-08:00

Went to the Psychic Expo at Bingemans in Kitchener yesterday with two special ladies in my life, my bestie Leanne and her friend Holly (who is my friend too but I know her through Leanne).

This wasn't my first expo, but it was my first at Bingemans. Prices have gone up quite a bit since I was at one about 10 years ago with my other bestie Devon and our friend Neil. Anyhow, I knew from experience that there are lots of psychics, mediums, tarot readers, palm readers and lots of prices and experiences being offered. What was nice about this expo was that they had them all set up around the outside of the room, and the inside had books, tarot decks, crystals, jewlery, and other little things that were for sale. We got in and wandered the entire room and tried to determine what we'd like to do.

I had warned the girls in advance that it wasn't going to be cheap if you wanted a really through experience. After going around, we found that $75 is the going rate for nearly everything. Many of the people at the show were actually fully booked for every time slot. It didn't really matter to us however.

I'm big on the vibe I get off people. There is something to be said for being comfortable with the people you are working with. When we did our first pass through, I didn't even think that I was going to get anything, let alone a reading. Holly and Leanne agreed that the very first table we went to felt like the most thorough and the best choice. His name was Tony, he was directly to the right of the main doors and he wasn't that busy. Surprising considering all that the did for people in his reading. He did a facial reading, palm reading, he would tell you about four people in your life, did a touch of numerology with your birthday and generally was pretty good. He didn't stay on any subject too long, but you were able to get a cd of your reading (minus a few parts). His wife was working the table and all of us got good vibes but I just wasn't sure I needed a full reading.

As I may have mentioned, I had a pretty good tarot reading in December. My other bestie Kristina hosted a tarot party day at her house where there were readings every half hour. I came out feeling better about what direction I needed to take. It actually helped inspire me to sign up for the course I'm starting Friday and to get my own office.

Back to the show, after deliberating, Holly booked her session and we had some time to wander around. On this pass, we ended up talking to some of the booths that were really busy when we went by and we got talking to a visual psychic. I got a warm and fuzzy feeling from them. We shared some laughs and I really liked the idea of getting a piece of art that is unique to me. Plus, at $65 I was saving a bit of money in the process.

I know what some people will say, psychics are crazy and the people that pay money for them are even worse. I don't agree with that. I think if you are open to it, things can come through. Some people, I don't trust but much of my experience has been very accurate. I've been guided in directions that I've needed to go and I've also been told some things that are very hard to hear. Yet this weekend when we were at the expo I was really looking for something light and easy and fun. I wanted to have fun with it. I wasn't on the quest for answers and the booth I chose was really worth it.

After getting some cash and booking a time I was able to sit with Beverly and have a Mystical Art Reading. She sat me down, we meditated together, she didn't ask me very many questions but got me to be calm, relaxed and asked me to silently ask for my spirit guides to be there with me and to help me with this process. It was hard because I found myself getting distracted by the voices around me, but I called to them in my mind. I think going in with an open mind, I really didn't know what to expect. However when the time came to reveal the painting, the first thing I saw was the two doves on top - an affirmation to me that my mother and grandmother came through and that this was a really good experience.

I didn't feel sadness. I only felt light and happy. Beverly kept telling me that I had good energy and even her husband was impressed by how clear the images were in my painting. Many animals came through - several bears, two moose, the two doves. I had a hindu goddess and a couple angels. It was fascinating to see them and it was amazing to see how much came through when you really looked at it.

The animals came as an indication of spirit guides. Native Americans have talked about the spirit guides for many generations, finding them in the stars, and in the flames. They viewed the spirit guides as an indication of where you are and what you need to do to move forward. Beverly and John had books about the guides and what they meant and it was interesting to see that they were more of an affirmation of where I am in my life and where I need to go to move forward.

Oh sure, some of the figures and animals that Beverly saw didn't really show themselves to me, and sure I thought some of it was a little out there as a vision in the paint, but for the most part they were very clear. Leanne saw an elephant in my painting. It was so clear to her that she was amazed that both Beverly and I couldn't immediately see it.

It was fascinating, and I'm going to wait to let the paint dry completely before framing. I'll include a picture when I get a chance but for the meantime - here is a video from another show that pretty much explains everything. To find out more, visit Beverly's website: www.beverlystephan.com.

What a lovely way to burn

2012-01-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Already here we are 7 days into 2012 and I've been pretty busy. I've got an office area set up for me to let my mind run wild. In doing so, I've even gotten our new/used scanner working on the computer and have scanned a few images today to facebook. Oh what the hell, I'll include one or two in this post.

I'm so excited to have my own office space. Our house has felt like a home but I've felt fairly stifled in having an area to call my own. Now that I've commandered the spare room, I feel better about things. Let's face it, when we got this 3 bedroom house we were going to have a room for us, an office for James and a room for our babies. We've been here nearly 3 years and so far we've had less than a handful of people sleep in the room and it generally just sits empty without any action. Finally I decided, enough is enough. The baby thing isn't happening so let's make it something useful. I cannot tell you how good it feels having a sense of peace washing over me when I enter this room. It's amazing what a little space of your own can do to lift your spirits.

I was inspired by the colour scheme in this room I found on pinterest. I know I don't want to paint, but I'm pulling some of the blues into the room and will have pinches of hot pink and such. I think it's going to look pretty good. The walls are white, my desk is white and now I'm on the hunt for a good office chair. I don't want to spend an arm and a leg though. Even if I do hope to start using this room daily.

Why am I wanting to use the room daily?

Well I'm taking a course. Yes, a course. I signed up for a romance writing course through Conestoga College. It's funny when I mention it to be people because I tend to gauge their reaction. Let's face it, romance fiction is most people's dirty little secret. Even though I'm excited about it, I'm worried how people will look at me. I tell them I'm taking a creative writing course, to which I generally get a good response and then I clarify and say it's a romance writing course. I would say 90% of the people think it's great. Some have even told me that they are jealous because it's something they'd love to do and then there are the other 10% that tell me they can't understand it. Of course those people also don't understand writing and have never felt the passion that is involved in creating something you enjoy.

In cleaning my office I found some poems and essays and stories I had written years before - long before James. It isn't that I haven't written since meeting James, but I find since I've been with him my writing is more introspective rather than imaginative. I'm hoping this course helps me get back to my creativity.

In other news, I have decided to take up the challenge for #26in2012. If you don't remember, I did the #26in2011 challenge last year. The challenge has been taken up by people as a somewhat goal to read 26 books of your choosing in a given year. That's a book every two weeks. Some of my friends started out strong, some lost count and others just reached their goal. As far as I can tell, I was the only one to really blow out it out of the water with the high number I had. To see how much I read, go to my previous blog post: http://quirkycori.blogspot.com/2012/01/recap-of-26in2011.html

To keep me honest, I'm going to keep track of all the books in the sidebar of the blog. I know it doesn't really matter, but at least it holds me accountable to the record.

And so, with that you are basically caught up in my life. Now my pretties, leave a comment and tell me what's going on in your life? I'd love to hear from you. :)

(In case you are wondering about the picture in this post, it was taken at a photobooth back in 2007 with my then fiancee James, my old roommate Bridgit who I call my lil' sis, and her friend Wayne - good times were had that day for sure.)

Recap of #26in2011

2012-01-02T17:58:00.000-08:00

I somehow read many more than my #26in2011 challenge. In case you weren't aware, at the start of January 2011, several people that I follow on twitter had decided to take up the challenge to read 26 books in the year. that would be an average of a book every two weeks. I had a lot of challenges against me, but my lust for reading and getting lost in a book was too powerful. I read over my 26 books in the summer. I tried doing a review of as many books as possible at the start of the year but then time got lost on me. And since we've started 2012, I figured I should take the opportunity to put all of them together in one list. A history of my book loving for a whole year.

41. The Walk - Richard Paul Evans
40. Any Man of Mine - Rachel Gibson
39, Tamed by a Laird - Amanda Scott
38. The Perfect Man - Sheila O'Flanagan
37. Book of the Dead - Patricia Cornwell
36. It Happened at Christmas - Penny Jordan, Helen Brooks & Carol Wood
35. Now & Then - Robert B. Parker
34. A Risk Worth Taking - Robin Pilcher
33. That Perfect Someone-Johanna Lindsey
32. Ya-Yas in Bloom - Rebecca Wells
31. The Cookie Club - Ann Pearlman
30. Straight Up - Deirdre Martin
29. The Pledge - Rob Kean
28. Lake News - Barbara Delinsky
27. Pink Slip - Rita Ciresi
26. Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
25. Outlander - Diana Gabaldon
24. The Overnight Socialite - Bridie Clark
23. Kings Daughter - Christie Dickason
22. Shadowy Horses - Susanna Kearsley
21. Maiden of Inverness - Arnette Lamb
20. Highland Barbarian - Hannah Howell
19. The Devil's Queen: A Novel of Catherine de Medici - Jeanne Kalogridis
18. The Castaways - Elin Hilderbrand
17. The Pact: A Love Story - Jodi Picoult
16. Trespass - Valerie Martin
15. Carolina Isle - Jude Deveraux
14. The Fabric of Sin - Phil Rickman
13. The Third Circle - Amanda Quick
12. Gardens of Delight - Erica James
11. Deeply Desperately - Heather Webber
10. Heartless - Alison Gaylin
09. The Secret - Julie Garwood
08. Hope in a Jar - Beth Harbison
07. Bitch Posse - Martha O'Connor
06. Found Wanting - Robert Goddard
05. Shadow Music - Julie Garwood
04. Winter Solstice - Rosamunde Pilcher
03. The Book of Lies - Brad Meltzer
02. The White Queen - Philippa Gregory
01. Ransom - Julie Garwood

Day 9 - Favourite Christmas Movie

2011-12-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

We are nearing the end of the countdown with only a few short days left to go and I must say, this is my favourite topic!

My favourite Christmas movie involves Ralphie himself and his quest to get a Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock. Oh yes.

A CHRISTMAS STORY

Ever since I first sa wthis movie I have been in love with the story. From the "Fa ra ra ra ra"'s to the starving kids in china and BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE, the movie is just filled with gold. The acting is fantastic and is made even better by the voice-over of an adult Ralphie moving the story along with interesting anecdotes like:

"My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master."

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obsenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

"Some men are Baptists...others Catholics...My father was an Oldsmobile man."

At the time of me first watching the movie, my father actually was an Oldsmobile man. We had two big boats, one black and one burgundy. I also thought that the school in the movie looked just like Manchester, my elementary school. I honestly thought that Ralphie and Flick could very well be one of the kids in my class.
this is the school in the movie:

And this is my elementary school

Oh yes. A Christmas Story wins by a landslide as my favourite movie.

Day 8 - To give or receive?

2011-12-21T15:09:00.000-08:00

This is a continuation of the following countdown. And before you say it, yes, I'm doing them in the wrong numerical order in that I'm counting up and not down. Shoot me.

Day 05. (Dec 21st) Give or receive? Explain.

Even since I was a child, I have been really focused on giving. My birthday is 5 days before Christmas so I had a whole day devoted to me and me getting gifts. I really wanted to make sure that at Christmas the people that I love would have the same joy that I had. When I became a little older, I would take any money I was given for my birthday and turn it into gifts for other people. I've always felt so good to see an excited face when I got a gift that was just right. I would sit and watch for their reactions and smile to myself for a job well done. Giving is always better and I really hope that the people whose presents are sitting under my tree enjoy the thought and time that I put forward in getting them something extra special.

Day 7 - 5 words

2011-12-21T04:53:00.000-08:00

As yesterday was my birthday, I felt it was important to take a break from the countdown. I'll try and make up for it today

Day 7 - Describe Christmas in 5 words using adjectives, verb, etc.

Stressed family finds loving compassion
or
Show loving compassion to others

(Again for the original post - go here: http://quirkycori.blogspot.com/2011/11/12-days-of-christmas-challenge.html

Day 6 - Plans for the holiday

2011-12-19T04:45:00.000-08:00

With my 12 days to Christmas countdown in full swing - I'm already halfway through and can't believe it!

Christmas Eve I'd like to be going to church with my dad for the evening service and then sleeping over at his place with James. In the morning James will be prepping the turkey for everyone in the afternoon. Around 1-2 we will head out from my dad's place and go to Paris to be with the hubbies family for the afternoon evening. It's going to be busy, with lots of people to see but it's what we are doing this year.

What are you doing for the holiday this year?

Day 5 - My Christmas Wishlist

2011-12-18T08:25:00.000-08:00

Of course on the top of my Christmas wishlist is my mom - I wish she were here, but I'm happy knowing she's no longer in pain. Cancer fucking sucks so I'll make my second wish for it to just go away.

Now onto the tangible plausible things:
SMALL THINGS
- Different flavours of hot chocolate - I freaking love the stuff
- Gardening tools - I took a course this past spring and it has inspired me to want to grow things
- A zippered bag big enough to carry my knitting with me

CLOTHING
- gift cards for plus size clothing stores - come on big girls - you know that you need to try ANYTHING on before buying it.
- I'd love a soft and brightly coloured scarf to stand out against my gray coat
- socks! hard to believe how many single socks I lose when I do laundry

TOYS
- I've been eyeing up and dreaming of the new cookie monster that eats cookies and counts them. He wears a backpack and is adorable!

DREAMY TYPE STUFF
- I'd love patio stones to put in a walkway at the front of my house
- I'd love a good work desk for the spare room so that I can have an area to craft and write
- I'd love a sewing machine that is fairly easy to operate so that I can do some more complicated crafting
- A winning lottery ticket!

On the 3rd Day of Christmas....

2011-12-17T06:32:00.000-08:00

I know this is a bit out of order, but I really was busy yesterday with my work Christmas party.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, the blog told me to post an old Christmas photo of myself. Well this is one of my favourites - My mom, dad and I getting a big hug on Christmas morning - most likely taken by my big sister Heather. I think it really captures the love, and our ugly faux fireplace that we had when I was growing up.

Day 4 - Favourite Christmas Tradition

2011-12-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of Christmas Traditions that when they are happening they feel like they are my favourite and therefore it's really hard for me to narrow down just one but I'll try.

I love having Chinese Food on Christmas Eve with my husband - first by getting it at a restaurant to us making it ourselves. I love going to look at Christmas lights and marveling in their beauty and their time and effort. I love the new tradition of Sweater Breakfast where I get to share some holiday cheer with my friends and their kids. I love the hugs from my nieces and nephews. I love the carols. I love the fact that I get to be with James' family and that his parents always put a box of cereal under the tree for all the kids and it's a mad dash to get one you like. I love how chaotic my family Christmases are with all the kids and adults a flurry of activity. I love showing off a new outfit on Christmas day and I love just being around people that have known me for a long time and love me despite all my faults.

With that said, I'm going to talk about a tradition that unfortunately is over. And that's me getting a stocking from my mom. My mom always went out and purchased make up for me in my stocking because I would always need it at that time of year. She always got me gum instead of chocolate because she knew that I would prefer it. She always got me a pair of socks and an orange in the bottom and she always filled it up with love.

Her love in the stocking was always there for me to have and to hold and to love. And I know that she won't be there to give me her stocking this year, and I know that I have to buy my own makeup, but I also know that her love and her memories will be there in my heart forever.

2nd Day of Christmas

2011-12-15T07:29:00.000-08:00

And on the Second day, the blog did sayeth unto me:

A favorite Christmas carol. Post an audio.

So this got me thinking. There are songs that I love to sing at the holidays (Rudolph for instance). There are Christmas songs that I love to sing in July (White Christmas) or during the first snowfall. There are songs that I laugh when I hear (Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer) but when I started to think of my absolute favourite Christmas carol - there was only one.

SILENT NIGHT

I don't even know all the words. That is how much I love this song. I've heard it a million times, but I always stop and listen and get lost in it. So it was fun for me to start hunting for the audio clip for this challenge. I had to listen to a few before I realized that I couldn't pick just one. So here you are:

Olivia Newton John

http://youtu.be/J6P3fCDQVMI

and Sinead O'Connor

http://youtu.be/87q5dmW6zDg

Twelve Days of Christmas Countdown - Day 1

2011-12-14T18:48:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I posted the following about the 12 days of Christmas challenge that I had stumbled upon.

CHALLENGE #1 - A picture of your Christmas tree.

Challenge Accepted!

Meet Eloise. She is not too skinny, not too fat and she is British. Purchased for $19.99 from the local Rona near my house. We brought her home and she sat set up for 4 days before we decorated her. Isn't she pretty?

thinking about my mom (grab a tissue)

2011-12-12T08:22:00.001-08:00

We are one week and one day away from my birthday and this will be the first one without my Mom.

My mom always made sure that our family was with us for our birthday and no matter what she never forgot. She would always be there - always making sure we were remembered. She would call our siblings to remind them of your birthday. Even if there wasn't a gift, there was a special card that she picked out just for you and it was just right.

In less than 2 weeks it's going to be Christmas. Our first Christmas without my mom. My husband has told me that he's always appreciated my mom's gifts because she really puts a lot of thought into it. She tries to get it something you would like, and something that you'd need. She listens to you.

Or she did listen to you before she got cancer. Then she got sick and could only hear what was really important. To her that was family and to love and to laugh. And then she died and it feels like it's harder to connect with family. Harder to love and harder to laugh.

I have been blessed - I have friends around me that love and support me. They talk with me through my feelings and want the absolute best for me. I have a husband who is trying to help me, even if I do tend to push him away sometimes because he's doing it wrong. And even if I don't talk to my siblings much, I do know they still love me.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of meeting with a psychic for a tarot reading. I went to see one last year and he talked about my husband a lot. It seemed my husband's spirit came through very strongly and he needed to do somethings to help him overcome obstacles. This reading was pretty much all about me.

My mom came through on the reading. She's worried about me. She feels that I'm not focusing on me. She said that I give so much from my love bank to help others and be there for them and supportive of them, but when it comes time to put love back in my bank there aren't a lot of people there to do it. The psychic told me that I need to ask for help. I need to ask those around me to help me to rediscover myself. She told me that I need to have fun and act silly. She said that she gets the feeling that something happened and I had to grow up almost over night.

Oh how I wish I could talk to my mom about this. I wish I could tell her all that was said and discuss my feelings about what they stated. I suppose this goes to the other thing the psychic said "Your mother feels that you have a lot of questions for her, but you already have the answers in your heart."

One thing that was mentioned also by the psychic, was that I've spent so long focused on other people that I haven't dealt with my grief. It's true. Even if I spend a day sad, I haven't actually dealt with it. I still can't believe she's gone. i still can't believe that I don't have a mom anymore. I see so many people talking about their mother in a bad way and I just want to shake them and tell them how freaking lucky they are.

I have so many issues, ideas, problems swirling in my head. The above blog is just the tip of the ice burg. Perhaps it's time to start looking into counseling. Someone that can help me make sense of everything that's going on and help me get through this. Let's face it, if I can't get through this, then I won't get through this. Perhaps it's time I really do ask for help.

There is something so much better about the holidays...

2011-12-02T15:29:00.000-08:00

There is something so much better about the holidays.

Smiles are bigger.

Lights are brighter.

The world appears softer.

People give more.

They touch more.

Colour appears more vibrant.

Hearts swell.

Dreams are shared.

Wishes become reality.

I find I’m more drawn to those that love life at this time of year. Those that love sharing the good cheer and the merriment of the season.

I have a lot to celebrate this year. I have people around me that care about me and love me. I have people to laugh with, and hold my hand when I cry (and boy have I done a lot of that this year.) I have wonderful memories, and I continue to make more every day. This year I have learned when to let go, and when to say goodbye. And I’ve also learned when to hold on for dear life. I’ve learned that I do have a voice, and I can use it. If I like something, I’ll say it. If I don’t, you may also hear that too but at least I’m being honest with myself and with those around me. The ones that matter don’t care, the ones that do care, don’t matter.

I have had such an up and down roller coaster kind of year, but that isn’t dampening my feelings about the holidays. They are always stressful it’s true, but I’ve done something the past few years to alleviate the stress. I’ve shopped early – got it all out of the way so that I don’t have to think about it. I don’t have to stress about finding the perfect gift in a very short timeline. Instead I go and enjoy the holidays. I sing carols, I marvel at Christmas lights and the rosy red cheeks of a child. I have time to hug people, and show those that I care about how much they mean to me.

There is a magic this season, and I hope that you can take the time to enjoy it because I know I will.

#26in2011 update

2011-11-27T15:56:00.000-08:00

Today is November 27th and so far I have read 35 books this year. I have two where I have started but not finished, and might not because they are both tough reads and take time to digest before finishing.
I can't believe how well I did with the goal. When I first heard about this in the final days of 2010 I thought it was a neat challenge. I had no idea how well I'd do - if I'd read half or all. I had no idea that I'd surpass the goal and be now looking at reading 52 in 52 weeks.

When I mentioned to my husband how many I had read, and he suggested I continue on to 52 instead of just 26, I was intrigued. Could I do it? My schedule is really busy at times over the next month. But then I thought - hey, why not give it a shot.
I started looking over the books that I still have from the $1 book sale Millpond Record and Books had and although I'm not incredibly inspired by any of the books, I'm pretty sure that I can find something to get me going. Of course, my husband James of www.modsuperstar.ca fame thinks I should read this The History of Art instead. Wish me luck!

12 Days of Christmas... Challenge?

2011-11-22T15:01:00.000-08:00

I found this 12 days of Christmas challenge here and I think I want to do it.

Day 12. (Dec 14th) A picture of your Christmas tree.
Day 11. (Dec 15th) A favorite Christmas carol. Post an audio.
Day 10. (Dec 16th) An old Christmas photo of you.
Day 09. (Dec 17th) A favorite Christmas tradition.
Day 08. (Dec 18th) Your Christmas wishlist.
Day 07. (Dec 19th) Plans for the holiday. Just brief.
Day 06. Dec (20th) Describe Christmas in 5 words using adjectives, verb, etc.
Day 05. (Dec 21st) Give or receive? Explain.
Day 04. (Dec 22nd) A favorite Christmas movie.
Day 03. (Dec 23rd) Photograph your favorite Christmas decor in your tree.
Day 02. (Dec 24th) Draw a holiday greeting.
Day 01. (Dec 25th) A picture of you in holiday spirits.

What do you think? Is this a good idea?

Only pain

2011-11-15T15:01:00.001-08:00

I can't see the rainbow today.
Only the darkness, the void.
I can not hear the laughter.
Only tears and sadness in my heart.
I cannot see the solutions.
Only the problems, the negative.
I feel so alone.
So very very alone.

The one I need to talk to cannot listen.
The one I need to understand is unable.

So I turn in on myself. My sadness. My pain.

I can't feel the happiness. Only pain. Only pain.

Very Pinteresting

2011-11-13T06:13:00.001-08:00

With the holidays fast approaching, my brain is in hyper overdrive with ideas of gifts to get, how to decorate and most importantly crafts to make.

Years ago, me and my bestie Devon got together and painted houses for a village that we swore we would update and create for years to come. I kept up the challenge and now have so many houses and not much space to put them. I think it's time to move on to more grown up things.

Enter pinterest (www.pinterest.com)

Yes, this website is one of the main reasons that I haven't been blogging. It's one of the only things that pulls me away from twitter, and it has become the inspiration for a lot of different areas in my life.

If you haven't had a chance to play around with the site I have two things to say:
1. Why the heck not?
2. Want me to send you and invite?

Pinterest acts as an online place to organize thoughts, ideas and awesomeness. The site allows you to create Boards.

What are boards???
Well boards are a way to group different things on your Pinterest. Personally, I have 9 Boards
- Crafty McCrafterton (A place where I "pin" all things crafty and DIY that I want to actually make and are at a skill level that I feel I could accomplish. aka easy)
- Food I want to Eat (This board is where I put food that I feel I would like to eat, but that is easy enough and cool enough that I actually want to make it)
- Home Sweet Dream Home (As the name suggests - I use this board to pin different style ideas and dreams for my dream home)
- Words that Mean Something to me (An inspiring board of words/typography that I feel really resonates with me and symbolizes me)
- Unique Garden Ideas (Since I became a bit obsessed with gardens this year, I thought this board was a great way for me to gather ideas that I can later put to use)
- Places I'd love to see (A travel inspiration board-great way for me to dream)
- Mmmm Alcohol (A board to collect different ideas and recipes for drinks)
- Happy Holidays (this board currently collects all different kinds of ideas from Halloween to Christmas to Valentines day - this may get split off as the pins increase)
- Randomly Hilarious (this is my newest board and was created to capture all the most hilarious things that I find and really want to hang onto and laugh again. Currently my fave is a picture of a dog freaking out because he just found out that he was adopted and that his people aren't his real parents)

Now wait, what the heck are PINS?
Well pins are websites and pictures from the internet that fit within my above boards. It could be anything you like as long as it has a picture. You can put your own little notes underneath.

The site is awesome. I'm hoping that I can go into more depth with it in a future post. For now - I'm heading to the Holly Jolly House Tour with my awesome sisters.

Dream of the day

2011-11-03T04:38:00.000-07:00

I keep dreaming of her.
Every morning I wake up extra early clinging to my dream even though I know it's not real.
Last night she took me on a hang gliding ride through a downtown core similar to Stratford. I was completely safe because she and my dad were both with me.
We got off and went to eat. Mom went off on her own to the back of the restaurant. My dad wandered off up front. I followed my mom because I didn't want to lose sight of her. She smiled as she sat at a large table. In my dream I knew that she couldn't travel far and that she didn't have long. For some reason my dad sat at the front by himself and I tried calling to him to come back and sit with me and Mom but he either couldn't hear me or didn't want to.

I woke up and thought about that dream. I wondered what it meant. I just remember how at peace my mom was and how she was looking around her at everyone there. And I remember how sad and lonely my dad looked sitting alone.

I wish I knew how to help my dad not feel so alone.

Coming into my own

2011-10-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what my wants, needs and wishes are.

Let's face it. I've been pretty depressed.

And although I've got a pretty good reason to be, I also know that I've been depressed since long before my mom got sick and she and my dog passed away. After a long talk, slight yelling match, with my husband on the weekend I realized what it was. I didn't know how to put into words what my wants needs and wishes were. It bothered me that he was able to do it and that I felt that he had no idea what my wants needs and wishes were. And then I realized I couldn't blame him - because I didn't know what they are.

Our discussion, slight yelling match, really forced me to actually speak out as I truly had my husband's rapt attention.

And you know what it was that I wanted/needed? My own space.

Our house has always been "our space" but my husband has "his office." There is no space that is truly my space. I felt like the areas that I had tried to make mine, were really overshadowed by other things. It didn't help that any furniture or electronics that I brought into the relationship slowly and surely made it's way back out of the house. There are now only a few pieces that are still remaining in the form of bookshelves.

When my husband and I bought this house, he claimed one room for his office. I'm perfectly fine with that as he does have his own business and needs space to work. I never really thought that I needed anything as our other bedroom "the spare room" was ultimately slated to be a baby's room. Well since nothing is happening in that department - I've decided that it's time I claimed some space for my own.

And so on the weekend, I started cleaning out all the junk in our spare room and setting it up so that I have space to go and do my things. I've got tons of stuff pinned on my Pinterest that I really want to get making and creating. This will officially allow me to do that.

Even though the room isn't completely finished, I'm so proud of what I've done already. I already feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can see my things in my own space. I can breathe. I can dream. I can wish.

It's amazing what having your own space can do for you.

The Dude

2011-10-03T03:14:00.001-07:00

I hate feeling like the really sad girl. The one to be pitied and that people don't want to be around because I'm sad or feeling blue. But to lose my mother and now my dog within the course of 2 weeks is just heart wrenching.

This weekend, my husband and I made the decision that we were going to have a good time in spite of everything. We were in a new city that neither of us had ever been to and even though it rained nearly every minute of every day, we were still out there exploring and getting to know Halifax. We laughed a lot and got silly hats. We ended up with soaked clothing and umbrellas which ultimately led to wet suitcases. I had hoped that I'd be here telling you how great a city it was and how I'd love to go back.

Instead I'm here to say that my Dude is gone.

It's like a kick to the gut.

A heartbreak that is felt daily, minute by minute because he was always there. He would get me up in the morning with a nose nudge to my arm. He would be the last thing I would pay attention to at night when we let him out. He was the first face I'd see when I got home from work and the last one as I left the house. He was my dog - always there for a cuddle and to pet. he would let me hug him any time I wanted and we knew where all his favourite scratch spots are.

I'm the first to admit that he did some things that were pretty bad over the few years that we had him. He would get into the garbage if left unattended, which forced us to move all the garbage into hidden locations. He would mess with our bedding when we were at work so we'd come home to find it in a ball. His hair would be found everywhere as he was always everywhere. He would be underfoot if you were in the kitchen or anywhere near the door. He peed a lot and destroyed our carpet and a part of our new laminate floor we put in to replace it. He would get worked up whenever James watched sports or if their was a thunderstorm and would get up in my face looking for comfort. We loved him like our own child even if he had an extreme dislike for any sort of horizontal blind and destroyed them all.

Even with all this he was my dog and I love him. He was the one we chose. The one we wanted out of all the dogs. He was a gangsta in his bandanas. He swore a lot when talking and called everyone bitches. He was part of the sitcom, "You, me and The Dude." He was Mr. Haroo for a certain way he would howl. He would howl at the moon if you ever brought some spicy chicken wings in the house. He would make nests out of dirty close on the floor - preferring to sleep there than in his own bed. He was so loving and caring and his loss will be felt.

When we took a chance on an older dog we knew our time with him was limited. But we never knew our time would be this short and that we wouldn't be there to say goodbye to him. We were his "parents" so to speak even though he had an old soul. He looked to us to take care of him and it hurts that we weren't there when he moved on.

So I'd like to take this time to say "Dude, Chance, Kirby - whatever your name really was, it has been an absolute blessing to have you in my life. You infectious grin, love of play and walks, really were loved by many. You will be missed."

My mother-gone but not forgotten

2011-09-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

On September 16th my entire world changed. And no matter how prepared I thought I was, I was never really going to be prepared. My mother passed away from the cancer that had been ravaging her body. I spent a lot of time with her in her last couple of days. So much so that I felt the strong need to speak at The Celebration for her Life. Below is the Eulogy that I delivered to over 300 people packed into my parents church.

**************************************************

Today I woke up and thought I was having a nightmare only to realize that it wasn't a dream.

My amazing, loving mother has passed away at the age of 61.

61.

Cancer.

In April we got the devastating news that my mother was diagnosed and for the next few months I ran a full gamete of emotions. I was completely lost for a bit. Depressed for a bit. Sad and heartbroken. I would cry. I spent a very long time thinking about the fact that my mother was going to miss a large part of my life, especially that she wouldn't be there when I was finally blessed with a child. She wouldn't be able to tell me if I was a good mother or even if I was a bad one. Christmases would never be the same without her amazing food, warm smiles and thoughtful gifts. I kept thinking of all that she was going to miss and how that was going to affect my life. I shed a lot of tears and turned to close friends who understood me and gave me strength. And then I distracted myself with other things because I knew that my mother would want me to keep living, loving and laughing.

I felt that I had let her down because I was so busy focusing on how her cancer was affecting me that I wasn't focusing on her. I made it my mission to spend time with her and ask questions and talk about my feelings and ask her opinions.
I found that my mom was still my mom, quick with a quip, ready to smile and that she loved me, her other children and grandchildren.

It was only the week before she died that I really started to see that it wasn't about what she was going to miss, it was that she lived a full and complete life. She loved deeply. She cared about people and not just her family and friends, but people at church, at work and even my friends, as many have told the impact that she had on their lives. My mom was always ready for a smile. Always ready to help whenever asked. She was the best story teller, and the best listener. She could comfort me in a way that no one else could.

My mother was willing to go on adventures in her life and as my sister said this past week when we were going through pictures, it seemed like she was always on vacation. One of our favourite jaunts together involved taking a trip to Ikea with a small stop at the casino on the way home or at Dee's for some butter tarts. In 2003, I was able to show her around Jasper, a small mountain town in Alberta that I lived in when I was 22. She climbed Whistler mountain with me and my dad and was so happy to see the snow in June. She was able to laugh and explore and was so proud of me for having taken that journey on my own.

My mother always supported me so she cried sometimes when I cried and was strong when I needed her to be. Over the years, she helped me through many heartbreaks from the loss of a pet, to the loss of a boyfriend. She was always at my ringette, hockey and baseball games - on the bench or in the stands. In cold arena’s she would clap her loud mittens, cheer loudly and sometimes shake homemade noisemakers made from empty bleach bottles and rocks. She was right there with me on my college graduation and my wedding day, smiling and looking at me with pride on her face and love in her heart, the same way she did with all of us.

She always wanted the best for her kids and grandkids and I am so glad we got to talk about that the day before she passed. I sat with her and talked with her about everything and everyone in our family and shared memories we had together. I talked to her about how she was the coolest mom ever when I was a kid because she worked at the bowling alley making footlong hot dogs and how great it was that she allowed us to have lemonade stands during garage sales.
I talked to her about our "sprinklers" made from a hose turned upside down in the backyard and how she made me a swimming pool in our house at Norfolk by using our bathtub. We talked about homemade play doh and bike rides. I teased her about how I was her favourite and she very clearly said "I don't have a favourite," and I assured her that I knew that as she loved each of us with all her heart.

I kept going and took her on a journey to one of our favourite places on earth, Long Point. As she smiled I told her about how wonderful it was to lie on a swing and listen to the lake breeze go through the poplar trees and the waves gently lap the shore. How Uncle Ron played his mouth organ for us and then we would line dance on the sand with my grandmother and Aunt Thel. I talked about the wonderful bonfires we’ve had and how she taught me to make a marshmallow perfectly golden by spinning it slowly.

We talked about each of her children and she agreed that we have all grown up really well and that we have taken really good care of her, from cooking for her and holding her hand to helping her do the day to day things since she got sick. We talked about her grandchildren and what they were doing, from Brittanie getting a new job to Kassi looking for one. To Kamryn enrolling in a new school in Hespeler and how he has friends there. We talked about Brayden and his amazing football talent and how proud she and I both were at him for making team Canada. We talked about how tall Saige and Tori have gotten and how Tori calls mom her best friend. We talked about Zak and how he's loving his new school and how him and dad were working together on a lawn tractor.

I told her how important it was to see her and my dad together because that showed me what love is. I’ve seen the way my dad always looked at my mom and know it is the same as my husband looks at me. We even talked about stories I remember her telling me from her youth, of my grandmother chasing her down the street with a hairbrush because she didn't like her thick hair brushed and how she liked to skip school to go roller skating. We talked about the family and how important mom was to all of us growing up and how she made us the way we are today.

Even when she couldn't really speak anymore I kept going. I needed her to know that she led a full life. That she was loved and that she meant so much to all of us. I didn't want to think about her not being there in the future because by that point I knew that she always would be. She would be in my heart and in all of our hearts. My voice of reason, laughing with me, crying with me and supporting me. She would still be there holding my hand when I needed it because she was always there for me since the day I was born on a snowy December night waving at the world.

She has always been friend, my support system and my mother. I am who I am today because of her. She is gone but will never be forgotten.

My Anxiety

2011-09-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

Put me in front of a room of 1000 people and I will speak without much fear.
Put me in a crowd of 1000 people and I will crumble and panic and not be able to breath.

I have anxiety.

There are some people in my life that understand this. They guide me out of these situations. Ask how I'm handling it and take action to rectify my distress.

There are other people in my life that have no idea I'm in a panic and feel that I should just "Get over it."

I have no idea why I am the way I am, but I know that the feelings and symptoms are real. I know that I get scared, feel trapped and have a huge desire to flee. Many times I get tunnel vision or my lips go numb or both. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe and the mesh of odor makes me want to vomit.

Yesterday at the celebration of my mother's life I lived in my very own nightmare. At the end, the minister led me and my husband out of the church. The rest of my family was to follow but for some reason they didn't come. By the time we got down the stairs, I was getting stopped by a lot of people who all wanted a hug and to touch me in some way. Slowly the room started to fill with people and before I knew it I was completely surrounded and felt panicked. A very good friend of mine must've noticed immediately as they came over, asked how I was doing, when I said I need to get outside they helped guide me out of there and into the fresh air away from the crowd. This was my saving grace.

Members of my own family have no idea that I have this anxiety. They don't have it so they don't understand it. I've been told by a few that it's all in my head and that I should be able to get over it by using mind over matter. The only problem is that I don't know when it's going to hit me or when I'm going to get overcome and so therefore I try to avoid situations where I might get caught up in a crowd. I try to avoid areas where people will be pushing and shoving to get somewhere or do something. I finish all my holiday shopping during the day in November so that I don't have to deal with the crowds and can breathe free and easy while picking the perfect gift. I do my best to stick to places where I feel safe and where I know I can escape.

It's very hard having this anxiety because you can't really explain it to people. If you've never had this experience, you don't know how best to handle it.

Some have suggested therapy.
Some have suggested asking a doctor for drugs.
Some have said that I'm not living a normal life by avoiding these situations.

It hurts me every time someone offers me advice because they just don't get it. I'd rather be comfortable in my own skin, than to risk ruining something for another person. And so I avoid the large crowds in tight places and sometimes even the small crowds in tight places can be overwhelming.

I remember the first time that I began to have this anxiety. My husband and I were in a store closing sale at one Linen's and Things. There were so many people there jostling around me and trying to grab things from each other. My husband slipped away from me in the mayhem and I couldn't see him but was still getting bumped into by random people that I didn't know and never wanted to. Suddenly my eyes started to get tunnel vision and the only area I could see was in front of me and I was panicked when I realized that it didn't have the vision of safety, or my husband. I could barely breath, my lips felt numb and I swear I thought they'd be blue. I got all turned around, felt like I was going to be sick and needed to get out but had no idea how to do it until my husband finally found me and I tried to relay what was going on. He was sympathetic, but didn't quite get it. We get to the car and as I try to catch my breath and clear my head, he agrees that the crowds were nuts. But he didn't really get it. He didn't really understand it but he knew something had happened to me.

I was never the same after that.

The anxiety wouldn't overwhelm me all the time, but it started to get more frequent. Within the past few years I've finally been able to take better control of where I go and what I do so that I can avoid these situations. I've tried to surround myself with people who get it and get me. I've been able to laugh and enjoy myself in more meaningful ways. If you didn't know me, you wouldn't know that I have this issue. You may think that I'm fun and full of life, and then be surprised when you find me hiding in a corner at a party. Please know that it isn't that I'm not having a good time or trying to be anti-social, it just means that I'm doing whatever I can so that I can be comfortable and not in a panic.

Having anxiety is difficult for me yet the only person that I feel really bad for is my husband. He loves going to concerts and festivals and gets energized by a crowd and the shared excitement. More and more I've had to turn down his requests to go to such places. I still love him, but the thought of being there in the crowd is very uncomfortable for me. So much so that I've occasionally gotten sick beforehand. My love for him has made it that I do try to go sometimes. He really is my best friend and I hate to think that I'm holding him back from something he wants to do. Sometimes I enjoy myself with no anxiety, and other times I feel that I've ruined the experience for him because I've made him leave before he was ready. Although he tries to assure me that it is okay, I still know that he doesn't quite understand what I've gone through and how it's made me feel.

Essentially what I'm trying to say is that people with anxiety are humans like the rest of us but for some reason or other have a phobia or an issue in a situation. Treating them badly will not make things easier but understanding and helping them by staying calm can really help them overcome what they are going through. My husband and my friends are usually very good that that and for this I cannot thank them enough.

Movies and Me

2011-08-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much movies have been able to factor into my life and change it. Or at least make me realize something.

Oh sure they make you laugh, they make you cry, they make you angry or sad. But there is something about movies that just really means something to me.

I just finished watching One Week. It's a movie starring Joshua Jackson. An otherwise healthy individual who for some reason or another is diagnosed with stage 4 cancer with a max of two years - and that's if the treatment works. In the first couple seconds after hearing the news, he thinks of three things and these will all come to fruition over the course of the movie. On the way home to reveal to his fiance the horrible news, he comes across someone selling a motorcycle. He takes it for a spin and of course, buys the bike. This is about where his life really begins.

Joshua Jackson is perfect for this role. And I'm not saying that just because a much younger me had this slight infatuation with him. I just think he's got this way of being that makes him seem real. He talks like a normal person. He looks like a normal person and he comes into this role as a normal person. He's not always smiling. He's also not the type of person that has to look perfect all the time with chiseled features and a six-pack abs. The role he plays is a person trying to determine the age old question "What would you do if you only had one day to live? one week? One month?"

As you know, my mother was recently diagnosed with Cancer. She too is stage four. She too was given two years. But she knew what she wanted. She wanted her family around her. She wanted to appreciate the little things, like sitting by her pool and sitting around a bonfire with her family just staring at the flames. She wanted to tell all of us that we love her and she really wanted to laugh. She set all of those wishes into motion because she doesn't know how long she has. She might get 5 years, she may get 5 months. This we do not know.

The thing that has hit me ever since I found out and had time to digest it, we get one life. One life to do what we want, when we want. We have the ability to make choices and to make sacrifices. We can reach for our dreams, or help others acheive theirs. It's all our life to live how we choose.

I've looked around at my friends, both in real life and online, and I've seen a lot of things that just don't seem that important. And I may have made some decisions that have impacted those friendships simply because I have chosen to live another way. I have been trying to tune out the negative, and perhaps that means tuning out the negative people. It may also mean that I've tuned out the overtly positive people because I'll be honest, I can't deal with fakeness right now. We need to live real. We need to be real.

Earlier this year, my uncle passed away from cancer. He fought for 7 years and if there is one thing I noticed over that time was that he "Lived Like he was Dying". I know it's a country song, but I love it for all it represents. I think his passing hit me really hard as he was born the same year as my mother and at the same hospital. My mom was sick, but we didn't know it was cancer yet, and it just made me see that there are choices in our lives. We have the ability to affect our own destiny. If we want to do something, or acheive something, the only thing holding us back is ourselves.

This year, I want to experience life close to home. I want to deepen friendships I've had for years, and ones I've had for a few months but feel right. I want to do what feels right and if it doesn't, well I just don't want to be involved. I've heard people time and time again tell me how they wish they had a love in their lives. I don't think they realize that the first love they need to have in order to find love, is a love of themselves. A love of who they are and what they want and what they want to acheive.

Another movie I watched this weekend helped me see that, and of course the latest book I read did as well. In the movie "Love that Boy" a bit of a control freak with a list of all she wants to acheive by college graduation finds herself without friends and with a dwindling list. She has to look within herself and open herself up to new experiences and new people. Only then does she start to understand what college should be about and only then does she find love - ultimately that her love is within herself (and not really with the 14 year old boy across the street that she kisses.)

The book I just finished is more well known for the movie of the same name with Julia Roberts, "Eat Pray Love." The book and the movie are VERY different, as you'd expect. Both left me with a different understanding and I'll be honest, the Eat part in Italy just didn't do it for me in the book. I was hoping for more description, but what I came to realize is that the book was a spiritual journey. One that I've been on a bit myself. Essentially, the book takes you through a journey that the only way to hapiness and true love is discovering what you really love and what you really want to do.

I had my moment with this, and I gladly shared this with my husband. From the age of 16 to 22 I was in one long term relationship after another. That's 6 years of giving of myself and giving into their wants and desires and having no idea what I really wanted. I took off to Alberta for awhile and found myself laughing and flirting again, but nothing stood out more as my moment as the first time I had to go and rent a movie from the video store. Now kids, before you ask what a video store is, let me tell you about a life before netflix and pirated movies. Back in the golden days of my 20's we had a thing called a video store where you went and picked up a couple movies, the clerk swiped your card and then you paid them. You kept the movies for a couple days, watched them generally with popcorn and then you brought them back. It usually was a good thing for couples to do on weekends - especially if one wasn't feeling well, or they were stuck in a rut. Anyhow, I found myself alone in a video store and I had a chance to pick out whatever I wanted. I had never felt this experience ever. The ability to choose what I wanted to see for a few hours without the aid of someone telling me that the movie looked like garbage. I stared down at the shelves and at the covers. I would read the back and ponder over each and every movie. I kept looking around for that moment where someone would tell me to put down the movies I had, that they weren't worthy. But no one did. I cannot describe the intense satisfaction it gave me to pick 3 movies, all of my own devices, all indy flicks and not the top blockbuster. I wasn't on any waiting lists, I could just walk out and enjoy whatever I wanted. It was a satisfaction that one doesn't always have in their life. And it was a moment that for me helped me determine that even if someone told me the movie looked stupid, I would never let them tell me I couldn't watch it. I could just watch it on my own. My husband knows this, as we have had the movie store conversation where he's told me my choices blow and that he wants to see something else. But I always get one for me that I watch the next day. It's okay. There is nothing wrong with me.

And so it's through movies, and through my delight of reading anything I want, and through my knowledge that I can do whatever I want, that I know I'm living my life to it's fullest. I know it's not really an epic journey, but it's a journey nonetheless. It's my journey. And I'm going to take it wherever I want. Because I am me. I am still living. And so are you. So go on. Live your life. Love yourself and don't let anyone tell you different.

Superstar in the Family

2011-07-19T19:06:00.000-07:00

My nephew Brayden is a superstar.

He was born to be outstanding in one major way - football.

At the age of 2 he threw a ball and hit someone between the eyes. At three he threw a remote control so hard that he broke an entire plate glass window at the front of his parents house. He was hitting tackling dummies as he learned to walk and was learning plays and cheering for teams before he could even form words.

He was born to live and breathe football - and as yet has not been able to play in a league where his talents can truly be released.

This year, he's been selected for the Cambridge Varsity Lions. This means he gets to ride busses to away games and the finals for his league are at the Rogers Centre - the Home of the Argonauts in Toronto. Brayden is a quarterback, but has been known to play his hand in all sorts of different positions. He has an incredible accuracy with the ball and can read the field incredibly well.

Last week, he was selected as the offensive player of the week for the entire league. With the number of players in the league this is a HUGE accomplishment. I am so proud to say that there is a superstar in my family.

Watch this video that shows Brayden (quarterback) throwing the ball to his best friend Georgie for an incredible touch down.

Congratulations Brayden on your award!

Highland Barbarian, Maiden of Inverness and The Shadowy Horses - Book Reviews

2011-07-03T05:22:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentleman, I have been a bit of a reading machine. All this in spite of taking vacation and seeing old friends. My year long goal is soon to be realized and I feel fantastic. In case you weren't aware of what #26in2011 stands for, you can read my blog here. And if you want, you can follow the hashtag on twitter by going here. Using the search this morning reveals that most people appear to have been giving up. Boo to them!!! Booo!!!!!

Before getting into the nitty gritty, I have to give a huge shout out again to Millpond Records and Books for being able to help pinpoint exactly what I was looking for the last time I walked through their door. What I anticipated being a long journey of searching through the racks only took about 5 minutes with the help of Wendy tracking down just the right things. She's awesome in so many ways, even taught me how to knit last year. I cannot recommend going into this store to enough people. It's awesome on such a higher level. And now on with the show!

Highland Barbarian - Hannah Howell
I'm sure you can tell by the title, and the scantily clad gentleman on the cover of the book that this is a smutty romance book. And to be honest, what more could a woman (or man for that matter) want to read on a hot summer day? The book is all kinds of sexy and is my 20th book for #26in2011.

The scene is split between the Highlands and Lowlands of Scotland and includes plenty of intrigue, a touch of violence, and of course all the heaving bosoms you could ever want. Even though I had a bit of a tough time with the name of the lead character (Sir Artan Murray - I mean who names their kid Artan and thinks he's going to be awesome?), I did get a bit of a buzz from reading the book.

I'll be perfectly honest, I like reading sexy stories every now and again. So it did meet that piece of criteria for a good book. There was a hint of religion of course in that there were priests in the story. Of course no good book about the highlands comes complete without at least one murder. The only thing that was really missing was Christmas. Per my husband, this book is therefore not one that I will ever cherish because it doesn't meet all my literary needs - those being Religious, Murder, Sexy Time, Christmas. (Gotta love having a husband with a wild imagination eh?)

Maiden of Inverness - Arnette Lamb
As you can tell, this is another sexy story based in Scotland. It's true that I've always had an affinity for where my ancestors have came from. I've always heard the name of the village they came from back in 1776, and dreamed of figuring out what clan we belonged to and what colours our tartan would be. I'd go on about this a bit more, but being as this is a book review and not my family history, I'll carry on about the book.

The writing on this one was a little different than most smutty historical romances. The story starts in childhood for the two lead characters. Both came from very different worlds and were thrust together by fate. Well fate and a really insane story involving the King of England and a priest. Showing that right off the bat you have religion. Check one.

The violence of the novel is hinted at early on, as always with a novel written about unsettling times. So let's check off murder.

I would say the only place where it didn't meet my expectations was the sexy time. Oh sure it was there, but it didn't get my blood racing as much as Hannah Howell's book did. This book tried to focus more on the adventure and getting the historical facts accurate (well as accurate as they could be) than being a specific romance novel. Christmas was also missing from the book, although if I remember correctly they did mention the word once.

All in all, I will happily sell this one back to the book store for someone else to read next. It isn't one I need to keep on my book shelves.

The Shadowy Horses - Susanna Kearsley
By the cover, I thought this might be a bit of a romance novel. Instead what I found was that this was more a story where the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up. Of the three books in this review, this was by far the best one and it is number 22 in my quest to reach #26in2011.

Set yet again in Scotland, this book is written in modern times. Centered around an archeological dig taking place in Eyemouth, the story weaves in and out of truth and mystery. The characters for the most part are believable and I found that I could see their faces, watch them walking and living through the creepiness that comes when you are surrounded by a spirit that just won't let go.

The murder was always hinted at, but was never really revealed. I'd still check it off the list as if there is going to be a ghost, there is going to be a death right? Oh wait, just remembering now, there was another murder in the book but it didn't really have a huge bearing on the overall story. So yes, definitely check off murder.

Religion wasn't really in the book and in fact, I don't think it was really there at all even though they did mention once about going to church. Still doesn't count enough.

The sexy time had a really nice build to it and as with all good romance novels it had enough tension between the lead character and her leading man so that you could feel it building. I spent a lot of the book just hoping for a little bit more. Saying they kissed and then "she forgot everything for awhile" just doesn't satisfy the heaving bosoms my husband insists I must have in every story. I still count it as sexy time even though it wasn't described in graphic detail.

All in all, this one was a good book. I might want to read it again, as I do like a bit of mystery sometimes and have always liked the idea of ghosts. (Even believe I've seen them on a few occasions.) I would recommend reading this one.

The Pact, The Castaways and The Devil's Queen

2011-06-18T04:25:00.000-07:00

I have been a bad blogger as of late for keeping up with my book reviews and blogs. For some reason I've been more interested in engrossing myself in the pages of fiction than writing. And thus - I've read three more books. I'm well on my way to reaching #26in2011 as after these three, I'm so close to 20 I can taste it. Per my husband, I could probably polish off the final 7 books in a day if I wanted - and he's probably right - but I'm not going to do that. I want to savor them. I want to get lost in the pages and ponder what was in them. I want to be part of the story and invest myself in the actions of the characters. I want to feel something, and with the latest three books I know that it's possible.

The Pact: a love story by Jodi Picoult

I've read some of her work before, and what I find the most interesting is how much she writes about subjects that might make you uncomfortable. She will write about a topic with such force that you can't help but look within yourself and think about what she's writing. You can't help knowing what is going on. You want to look away but you can't because you need to find out what happened. That is how I felt about this book.

In The Pact we are transported to small town anywhere, because the location doesn't really mean anything to the ultimate story. It could be about any two kids who have grown up together and loved each other. Heck, it could've been about me. Perhaps that is what makes it uncomfortable. It makes you look inside yourself.

Back to the story, the plot revolves around two young lovers who make a suicide pact and those around them who are trying to understand what and why this has happened when one of the two lives, and the other doesn't. It makes you look at how well people really know each other, especially their own children. The story is heavy. It will take you places you may not have wanted to go but find yourself completely there - you are in that small town, in those houses. You are walking the streets and going to the same stores. You are walking through the high school and you are trying to figure out the "why" all through the story.

It's a shocking read but a touching one. I really recommend it, some tissues and peace and quiet. I also recommend having two books on the ready to help clear your mind of all the heavy stuff when you are done. (But maybe that's just me.) Either way, I really do recommend reading this book. If you want to know more from the author's website - go here.

Per my husband's scale of books I would like: This book essentially has murder, sexy time and in a way, Christmas. It does not have religion so therefore he would not agree that this would be a good book for me. I tend to disagree.

The Castaways by Elin Hilderbrand

If we start with my husband's scale, this book had it all, even though it was light on religion and Christmas. This was fine with me since in reality I never even read the cover and wanted the book solely for the cover. Seriously - look at that gorgeous scene. Could they have picked a more inviting cover for a beach read?

This book was a little bit lighter than the last book, but was still a little heavy in the way the story unfolded. Very quickly into the book two of the key characters die in a boat during high winds. Could be an accident, but so many points lead to something else. The rest of the book unravels everything else that was going around during the time of their death and the months leading up to it.

I started reading this book by my parents pool on a very hot June day when the temperatures felt more like August than a spring day. It was the perfect scene to get lost into something that my mother said was an easy read. The writing flowed really well and before you knew it you were a few more pages into the story and invested with the characters. I liked the way the plot jumped throughout the people in the story. It was always revealing a little more. I felt almost like I was watching a movie instead of reading a book.

I really do recommend this book as it does truly have it all. Great summer read.

The Devil's Queen: A Novel of Catherine de Medici - By Jeanne Kalogridis

By all accounts, I should've been the most uncomfortable with this story. A women who undergoes hardships and rises to be a queen by touching on the occult and surrounding herself with murder and evil things. But there is something about this story being set well before my time that didn't make it so. Maybe I'm a fan of the macabre and curious about the occult.

So let's look at my husband's scale - Religious - check, Murder - double check, Christmas - it was mentioned, Sexy Time - check. And so that makes it so. The book was good and I enjoyed it. I know it isn't to everyone's taste in not everyone likes to read stories based in the 1500's. I, on the other hand, like to escape a little. I like to think of walking down castle halls, through hidden passages. I like to image the fine fabrics and the clothing when you touch it. I like to feel like I am transported to another time and place.

This review should be about the book and not me so I'll carry on.

The fact that this book was based on a real life person and historical events wasn't lost on me. The writing flowed fairly well, even if the story seemed a little disjointed. I think the writer was trying to fit in the historical aspects into her story and may have jumped forward faster than should have happened. However, I'm not sure how I could've done better given the circumstances.

The way the story was written, I felt like I was standing quietly beside Queen Catherine. I was with her in a deplorable cell in Spain. I was with her in the pope's chambers. I was there at her wedding, and in the room for her wedding night. An innocent bystander you could say to the story of a woman who did everything she did for her family and for their survival.

The book is alright. Not really sure I'd read it again, when I would definitely read the other two books I read in the past couple weeks. It was a good book to finally clean my palate with regards to The Pact. The Pact is a book that had so much resonance with me that it will be a long time before it's out of my system.

So with these three I have completed 19 of my #26in2011. I'm on a roll folks!

Mom update

2011-06-04T19:34:00.001-07:00

I just want to thank everyone for your love and prayers since my mom got sick. It means a lot. Saw her tonight and she seems in good spirits. She's a little tired, but what else can you ask for a day after her first chemo session. She has grand plans this year and it's sad but I'm going to stay positive. All we can do is love her and help her through this.

Two more for #26in2011

2011-06-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

Two more books have been read since my last post for #26in2011. Very different, but both considered a bit more on the chick lit side. One book was light and airy and may never stay with me in the future. The other had me thinking and guessing the entire time. One had an actual ending and the other was pretty weak. One had lots of mystery and adventure, the other had mysterious people but not a huge amount of adventure.

My 15th book I found at a garage sale at my parents church last weekend. All in all it took me approximately 3 hours to read. Written by Jude Devereau, I found "Carolina Isle" as a fairly easy read but with lots of action. The cover of the book really didn't relate to the story a tremendous amount. It was a typical action adventure/romance. It was written to have a twist, a switch in identities, but it failed miserably. I'll be perfectly honest, the book left a lot to be desired. The characters didn't have much depth. The person who wrote the data for the cover must've only read the first chapter as what they talked about got blown apart quickly.

The whole story was to make you fall in love with being in the Carolina's, but nothing really made you even want to go there. The story would allude to something, and then never went back to explain it. Sure it came to a clean ending, but I never really felt invested in the story.

If you are looking for an easy beach read that occasionally will make you bang your head off the back of your lawn chair, this is the book for you. If you are looking for something that will force you to really think, I'd suggest going elsewhere.

My 16th book for #26in2011 was also found at the church garage sale. The cover really caught my attention. Background in light blue, a woman in a red flowing skirt appears to be dancing, and the title "Trespass" by Valerie Martin. It is a winner of the Orange Prize. To this day I have no idea what the Orange Prize is, but I knew there was something about this book. Yes it's true, i always judge a book by it's cover. There has to be something about it that intrigues me. Lucky for me I have a varied taste. With this book, I don't even think I read the back. I just had to have it.

The story is written by an American, but definitely has some twists and turns that are unexpected. To be honest, I thought the book was written by a man, and it wasn't until I read the title again to put it in this blog post did I notice that it was actually a woman. There was something about the way the characters are written. The point of view doesn't come across as womanly. Although with that said, the characters all come out pretty clearly throughout the story, with the exclusion of some slightly mysterious characters.

What I liked about the book most was the characterization. I also kind of like that it isn't your typical book in that it doesn't have a happy ending. Not really anyhow. Of course it's all a matter of opinion right? There were so many times in the book where I thought "Oh so they are going to do ___" but then it doesn't happen. I found that I had to keep reading. I needed to see how it ends. The novel focuses so much on the character development, that it glosses over the setting. I was fine with that in this book because the story was so interwoven and I got so involved with the characters.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I tend to be a bit on the optimistic side, and that I tend to try and see all the sides of a story. This book really played to my personality in that it wasn't written from just one point of view. It's from the son, the mother, the father, the girlfriend/wife, the father-in-law, the mother-in-law. You want everything to work out for them. You want them all to find resolution and peace. But that wasn't how the book was written. Questions are still left at the end.

Both books were very different. But I would definitely recommend Trespass before I'd recommend Carolina Isle. Sadly, I gave that book too my mother-in-law. She, like me, got a bit pulled into the cover. Too bad I didn't wait and let the book digest before giving it to her. It wasn't a horrible book, and I did read it in a very short time frame. Perhaps if I was at the beach, I would've liked it better. Who knows.

Next time, I'm going to hopefully get something awesome. For now, I'm still on my quest to finish #26in2011. Only 10 more to go!

Stage 4

2011-06-01T04:26:00.000-07:00

I don't even know what to think today.

With the craziness that is a family birthday, I've come to read on facebook of all places that my mom's diagnosis is stage 4 lung cancer. We knew about the nodes in the lungs, and knew about the hot spots from the bone scan. But there wasn't a number assigned until yesterday. We even heard "terminal" but somehow having a number assigned makes it more real. Knowing that she's going to start a low dose of chemo this week gives you hope. But then I had to go and do some research into stage 4 and find out that chemo in stage 4 is usually used as a pallative care method.

Pallative care.

Pallative care meaning to make one comfortable before death.

Death.

I know we came face to face when she was diagnosed but there was still a glimmer of hope. Now we know it's stage 4 and there is nothing we can do about it. Sure she could still live another 5 years but her life will not be comfortable.

I had no idea when I was 6 years old and came home from school in tears that my parents were going to die because they smoked, that my mom would get lung cancer and die before her time. She quit smoking immediately after that little tirade but she still got the disease that I was so worried she would.

My heart is broken knowing that I haven't had the chance to gain all the knowledge from her that I could. There are so many things that she knows that she won't be able to share with me. Add to that her constantly being surrounded by my relatives, and it makes it even harder to talk to my mom.

I'm getting the party line from her rather than the truth. My oldest sister, who recently went through treatments for her own skin cancer, is the closest to her right now and has been taking her to her tests. My other sister sees her daily due to the proximity that they live to each other. I feel out of the loop and hate that I had to read my nieces facebook in order to find out the truth.

Stage 4.

It's different for everyone but most of what I've read indicates that this could be the end. Generally they say 8 months, but it's all a grab bag. I know she could survive. I know she could fight this, but they've already told her that she will die from this. that means she will die from the pain she's been suffering. She will die.

And then I go to twitter, and see my friends chatting about this, that and the other thing. All things I would've been fascinated with only a few short weeks ago and now only passing with a blur and looking like chatter. Nothing soaking in. Nothing interesting me. Even what I say on there doesn't interest me anymore. I realize life is too short to be focused on other people's problems. I even begin to wonder if anyone will even care what's going on with me. Do they really care? But then I realize I don't care about that either.

I'm going to go on treading water. I'm still not going to wear mascara because I won't know when I will cry or what will set it off. I'm still going to set one foot in front of the other and go on with life because I do have a life.

My mother wants us to be happy. She wants our dreams to be fulfilled. She knows what my number one dream is and doesn't want to pressure, but it's her number one dream too. I fear I won't reach that dream in her lifetime. I also fear that I won't live up to her expectations.

And there I go crying again.

Will this ever get any easier?

I'll leave you with a picture I took of my mom this past weekend. My father asked me to come and do them before she got too sick and wouldn't look healthy anymore. He wanted her smiling and looking like herself so that we can remember that. He wanted her with the lilacs so that we can remember how much she loves spring. He wanted us to remember her. I didn't cry that day but somehow looking at the photos now I have tears. Or maybe that's just the weight of everything suddenly hitting me. Either way, I love her and I always will.

The Fabric of Sin - Book Review

2011-05-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

With my 14th book in my #26in2011 I was whisked away to the very edge of Wales in a little village called Garway. Garway, a place steeped in Templar history, was the setting of a modern day slightly religious mystery. The Fabric of Sin was written by Phil Rickman.

My husband always says that for me to truly enjoy a book it must be full of "sexy religious, Christmas murder." He gets rather disappointed when a book I'm reading doesn't have all four. Unfortunately, this book was completely missing the Christmas end of things but it really makes up for other things in spades.

For much of the book, the hair on the back of my neck was standing on end. Being a) from Canada and not England or Wales and b) from the city where our fireplace growing up had a lightbulb and a plug, I really needed to do some extra research to fully understand the book. I'm not afraid to admit that I had no idea what an inglenook was. Now I know and I'll forever be afraid to look in one, but that's okay.

The book, I believe, is part of a series. Didn't even look at the cover when it said "A Merrily Watkins Mystery." I was drawn in by the creepy tombstone and the foggy church yard. Oh yes. I'm one of those readers that gets instantly pulled in by a great cover and an awesome description of what's inside.

The writing left a lot to your imagination but you kept reading because you needed to know what happened. It's almost like watching a moving on TV and they'd cut to a commercial just as things are getting really creepy. It was the middle of the action. But I couldn't turn away. I just wanted to keep reading. I needed to know how it ended. Better yet, I wanted to go there. Walk in the history. I wanted to know more about the Templar's traditions and everything about Templar architecture. It's certainly sparked an interest in reading more. Not just about the area, but more about the author. And more about Merrily and her story.

It's not very often that you meet a writer that writes with the protagonist against their own gender. Not to ruin a good thing, I started the story not knowing that it was written by a man about a woman. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised when I looked at the cover and discovered it was a man. This story had so many strong female characters that I really felt a balance between the genders. Kudos to the Phil Rickman for not only knowing enough about the Church of England, The Knights Templar, women, men and even a smart and sassy teenage girl.

I found the book at my favourite used book store. Millpond Records and Books in the downtown Hespeler area of Cambridge, Ontario. Check them out. They have many, many more awesome titles for you to find your own little gems like this book. I'm not giving you anymore but I still think you should check it out.

Cancer

2011-05-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

Cancer.

It’s a word that has followed me around since before I was even born. When I was just a twinkle in my father’s eye, my mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer. With 3 kids already at home, the doctor told my mother that if she wasn’t pregnant within 6 months, she wouldn’t be having any other children. With a very tight window, my parents did what need to be done and pretty soon I was showing up on an ultrasound. I was born waving one arm above my head and my father always said it was as if I was waving at the world. Within 5 days of me being home, my mother was back in the hospital to be treated for the cancer that no one in their late 20's should have to experience. The early days of my life were spent with my family hoping and praying that the cancer hadn’t spread. Luckily it hadn’t and my mother spent the next 4 years making up for the time she missed when I was first born.

About 10 years ago, a mass was found on the single ovary they left inside my mother. It was large, and scary. Fears of cancer came back. In my early 20’s I started to see that life was short. I made some changes, did some traveling and spent some time single for the first time since 16. The grapefruit sized mass on her ovary was deemed non-cancerous and the fear slowly subsided.

Life went on. I fell in love and got married. My parents moved into their dream home in a small village with some property and a pool. My mom took a job working with the public that she really enjoyed. My brothers and sisters all had children that kept growing. Life was good.

Unfortunately last year, my mother started to have issues eating. She began losing all kinds of weight and was in pain when she ate. Turned out she had issues with her gallbladder. Having suffered the same issue back when I was 25 I could completely commiserate. They kept holding off her surgery, just as they did with mine, only her gallbladder completely collapsed. I was absolutely appalled that they didn’t operate immediately, and got her to hold on for a few more weeks until her surgery was scheduled. She did, but lost 20lbs in that time. Cancer wasn’t muttered but we were all worried about her extreme weight loss and worried that something else was wrong. My mother refused to think negatively, and barely talked to her doctor about the issue.

Three months ago= other than feeling really tired, my mother was in good health. Her weight had stabalized and she seemed happy. But more and more she was having some issues breathing. My oldest sister ended up passing out and going to the hospital with extreme pneumonia. My mother assumed she had this as well so she booked into our family doctor. Different ideas were bantered about. Could be a complication from pneumonia. Could be that she had punctured a lung from coughing to hard and breaking a rib. Either way, there was fluid filling her lungs. Within a week she needed it drained, had two catscans and they were no longer talking about pneumonia or a broken rib. Something was wrong. There were some masses still in her lungs once they were drained. My mother was referred to a lung specialist.

The next two weeks were awful. She was exhausted and in pain from the surgery to drain the lungs. We were all in agony. We knew something was wrong but were hopeful for a positive solution. No one was prepared for what we heard.

Cancer is back. This time it is terminal.

It's amazing how much your life can change in an instant. Hearing those words at the doctor's office, my mother was given a death sentence. My father was with her and asked how long. We were told 2 years.

2 years.

How can the woman that I love, that gave birth to me, only have two more years left? She is supposed to be there for me when I have kids. Telling me all I'm doing wrong and celebrating all the things I do right. She is supposed to play with my kids like she has with all her grandchildren. We were going to travel and experience life together. She isn't supposed to die.

My heart is broken, as is everyone else in my family. We are trying to be strong and trying to be positive. She's fought cancer before and won. She's going to do it this time too. She can beat this into remission. We know this but when we look in her eyes, we can tell that it isn't the same as before. This time the cancer has spread. It's in her lung, her back and her hip. We don't know where else as the tests aren't done.

All we can do, as a family, is love her. Be there for her. Listen to her and talk to her. We can go on trying to be the best we can and be people that she can be proud of. All she wants is to see us happy. We can make changes so that she can be proud of her children and happy for us. We can love each other and support each other as this is what she needs.

We can hope and we can prey. As my mom is now in the fight for her life, anything we can do to help her keep fighting, we need to do. Your love and prayers are really appreciated. Every bit helps.

#fuckcancer

Three more book reviews

2011-05-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned, I've been on a reading kick. This is beneficial for me completing my challenge of #26in2011. With the latest three books, I'm up to book 13. Pretty awesome considering this Friday is Friday the 13th. It's also my best friend Kristina's birthday so all in all, 13 is a lucky number.

The first of the three books is one of those fun mindless reads. It was just what I needed after the heavy blow I was given last week. I needed something that I could just read and enjoy and not really think. It was a good book. Part of a series so it didn't have to go too in depth into the secondary characters. The book is titled "deeply, desperately" by Heather Webber. It's sexy, it's fun. It's easy. It's a Lucy Valentine novel. :) Honestly, I would recommend it if you don't want anything too heavy.

The second book was beautiful in the words and the setting. "Gardens of Delight" by Erica James. Starting in the gardens of England and moving to the beautiful gardens in Italy, it was a good read. Not so deep, but still a little deeper than the first book in this review. I enjoyed it. My heart was involved with the characters and I found myself really torn about the way things were handled. Beautiful setting, but drew on some difficult topics. I found that my opinions on certain things going on around me were muddled in with the book. I won't go into detail, but know that this a fairly good read. Lucky for you, it will be back at the library soon as I need to return it. ;)

The third book was chosen as completely out of my normal reading type. "The Third Circle" by Amanda Quick. Based in Victorian England, the book bases around fantastical antiquities and people with special abilities and powers. From reading auras, to hypnosis and reading crystals, the characters in this book are passionately twisted. the language was a little off of my every day vocabulary, and it isn't really a time I've read too much about. But it was a good book. There was just enough sex and just enough intrigue. Evil characters when only the good can prevail. Heart racing, you will find that you want to see how everything ends. Lucky for you, even when it ends you will be happy to know that it's part of the Arcane Society Novel's. There are many more in the series.

And with that, I'm not sure where my books will go. Only 13 books left to go and just over 6 months to do it. Do you think I can be successful in my quest to read 26 books in 52 weeks?

Coming soon...

2011-05-08T03:45:00.001-07:00

I have been on a reading kick lately and by the end of the day I hope to have 3 books to review for my lovely readers. Just wanted to let you know.

I've also been working on something really quite heavy that I feel the need to get off my chest. Hopefully that will come in a few days.

I've taken a mini hiatus from the online world this week as I come to terms with some heavy things happening in my personal life. I'm slowly starting to come around so don't count me out just yet.

Heartless - Book Review

2011-04-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

I completely missed a book review for my #26in2011 so I've completed 10 books with 16 more to go in 2011. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the original post I wrote about this here. In the meantime, lets get on with the show.

A week or so ago I decided to have luxurious bath and read. It's one of my favourite guilty pleasures and on this night I decided to crack into one of the books I picked up at the annual book sale from the Cambridge Public Library. I picked up a couple of paperbacks for 50 cents so even if I didn't like the books I figured it wasn't a big deal.

As you know from reading my other reviews, that my tastes are pretty varied but I tend to always stay on the fiction side of things. I'm hoping that this book was not based on true events because I ended up staying up half the night until the book was finished. I was sitting on the edge of my seat reading it the entire time. I was completely lost in the story and needed to have it resolved or else I wasn't going to sleep.

The book is Heartless by Alison Gaylin. I've never heard of this author before and have never read her books but I was really trapped in the story.

It's a suspense kind of horror book based in Northern Mexico. I had the pleasure of going to Mexico 10 years ago before I moved to Alberta and was able to get a grasp on the culture of the people in the book and the look and feel for the surroundings. I think I may have already put my own take on the landscape before even reading so perhaps that was why I was so easily drawn into the story. Based around a somewhat sleepy town with some gruesome history, there is no way to really know what's going to happen and why until you read further and peel away another layer of the story.

It's twisted, slightly dark, mildly religious and cult like. Yet it's also delicious and interesting.

It's a really good book and I won't give away too much of the details but if you want a book you HAVE to read in one sitting due to the creepy content, this one is a good choice.

The Secret - Book Review

2011-04-17T11:36:00.001-07:00

If there ever was a book that highlighted how amazing a kiss can be in, it would be my 9th book in my #28in2011 - "The Secret" by Julie Garwood.

As I mentioned in my first post about #26in2011, Julie Garwood is one of my favourite authors of all time. Therefore it shouldn't come as a complete shock to anyone that on a snowy day in April (yes snow... in April!) I would want to reach for a book that I know I'm going to enjoy. The Secret has never disappointed.

It's a historical romance set in the Scottish Highlands during the early 1200's. So of course you have dashing lairds and family feuds. The Secret focuses on two of Julie Garwood's favourite clans - the Maitlands and the MacLean's.

What is really great about this story is that it really builds. The tension and the passion build as the story you get further involved in the story. Julie Garwood does a wonderful job of describing those in the story so that you really feel that you are there with them and experiencing everything written on the page. The story his a hot one but really makes me appreciate what I already have.

The only issue that I have is that when the secret was revealed, the story ended a little too easily. The dramatic confrontation you felt it was building into was short and didn't really crest as I was expecting. Even still I felt satisfied and fulfilled with the way the story ended.

I devoured this book, as I do with many that I read, in a few short hours and in one sitting. It was an easy read and if anything, all I wanted to do was kiss my husband at the end. Lucky for me he was obliging. So if you are looking for a book that might get your heart palpitating, I really do recommend this one but don't be surprised if you are thirsting after a nice long kiss to leave you senseless when you are done.

Sisterly love

2011-04-16T15:46:00.000-07:00

My sister went into the hospital this week. She's been having a rough go and I think everything caught up to her.

She blacked out last weekend and wasn't waking up. My niece was the only one with her when it happened and rather than call me, she called her cousin out of town to come in and take my sister to the hospital.

In so many ways I feel like I'm to blame for the rift in our relationship. If I just tried harder. If I just spoke up more, or tried to spend more time with them they would think of me as someone they could count on. It's not that I wouldn't come if there was a true emergency, it's that they never think of me.

I'm not as helpful nor am I as involved in their day to day lives. My life is busy, but at the same time it's not. I try and include my family in my life, but get a lot of excuses and a lot of "Some other time". I try not to get upset that they are missing out on my life, but I feel bad that I'm missing out on theirs.

Before I met my husband I was intrinsically attached to everyone in my family. I spent all my time with them. I didn't really have friends of my own that I hung out with on a regular basis but when I met my husband, I suddenly found myself being drawn into hanging out with people my own age who had similar interests to me. I found they really wanted me to spend time with them and enjoyed talking to me about me and what I was interested in. I think my friends find it hard to believe that I'm the quiet one in my family in that I can be quite loud and boisterous.

I miss my family though. I miss just being able to spend time with them doing nothing. Sitting around and watching tv or comparing notes while we people watch at the mall. I didn't really have to pick up the phone or email them in that I could just come to their house, walk in and make myself at home. Now it's more we only visit during birthdays and holidays.

My sister and I used to be really close, spent every weekend together. Over time we both got busy doing other things and before I knew it, I didn't have a clue what she was into or even what music she likes. We used to laugh together and just generally be together. We'd shop, we played baseball together. Here we are a few years later and I'm not even on the quick call list in her house and I can count the number of times she's been to my house on one hand.

I wish that things were different, but I have no idea how to go back. Or how to change things so that we are closer again. All I know is that she is my family, my blood, and I will always love her and her pain will always be my pain. Even if I'm not the first one she calls.

Hope in a Jar - Book review

2011-03-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

I finished another book last week when I was sick and came home from work early. Yes, I was sick. Boo hiss. No worries though. I'm feeling better and no one caught the flu from my blog before.

Anyhow - the latest little gem was one that I picked up second hand from my favourite book store - Millpond Records and Books. If you haven't had a chance to check out the store - I highly recommend it. It's located in the village of Hespeler which is part of the bigger city of Cambridge. They are on twitter and facebook. I'm happy to say a) I knew them before they were famous in the local book store circles and b) that I can count them as really good friends even if I don't buy books or records.

I seriously could gush on and on about Greg and Wendy and their awesome shoppe, but I'm here for my latest book review - so let's hop to it.

Hope in a Jar by Beth Harbison

This novel is more geared to those that like a bit more of a feminine touch. The book is written in first person and uses the concept of a high school reunion to reunite friends who have spent 20 years apart. What I really liked about the writing style, is that you really felt for the characters. The author did a wonderful job of holding just enough back so that you were guessing the whole time.

No matter who you are, there will have been times when you were in high school that you didn't really feel like you fit in. The two protagonists in this novel are very relatable in this aspect. More and more as I read, it made me really appreciate the friends I've had, and especially those that I call friends now. All in all this book was really about friendships - and how important they are no matter where you are in your life and career. If anything, it helped me look at my own life and let me see that even if it isn't exactly the same as my childhood dream, I can be happy about what and who I have in it now. It also gave me hope for some of the friendships I've had that have slipped away a bit.

No book is perfect, and there are aspects of the book that I found a little too predictable. But the writing is clean, the story is easy to get through and it was fun to read. It also made me really want a makeover, but that's nothing new.

I've already recommended this to a few friends - and even passed it off to a friend who's been having a bit of a rough patch lately. I think the book will help her see that things just might work out for the best. I would really recommend this book for any woman who has friends. Hopefully that means everyone because friends are a fabulous thing to have.

So this is #8 for my #26in2011

#26in2011

2011-03-12T08:33:00.001-08:00

I've been pretty active with my plan to read books this year. It became a conscious choice when everyone on twitter started talking about #26in2011. From my understanding there is no rules except to finish 26 books in 2011. As every year has 52 weeks, this means reading a book every two weeks. Here we are at the middle of March and I'm already done 7 books and have one on the go. Long way to go to hit 26!

#1 - I started out 2011 with a book that I had already read but love. Ransom by Julie Garwood. Julie Garwood is one of my favourite authors for how she weaves a story. In Ransom, we are transported to the medieval ages. It's a romantic yet dramatic story about a woman who has to endure heartache and pain as the story moves from England to the Scottish highlands. I won't give away the ending, but the story does have a wonderful beginning, middle and end. I'll read it again and again I'm sure.

#2 - The White Queen by Philipa Gregory. The author of The Other Boleyn Girl has become hot hot hot since the book was made into a movie. And although I did like that b

ook, I was actually more intrigued by the stories that were woven into Philipa Gregory stories. The first of her novels I read was the Constant Princess. That lit a fire under me that had me thirsting to find out more and more about the Tudor dynasty. My husband realized this last year when I started talking about it frequently, watching the tudors and just generally having a one-track mind. the library didn't have any copies of any books by Philipa Gregory as they were in constant demand (I can completely understand). So this Christmas when my hubby was wandering around a store, he just looked over and found this little gem. the story is based on the War of the Roses, a famous time in English history when the country is split into two different factions to determine who should be the king of England. What I love about the stories of Philipa Gregory is that they are always based on truth. Yes she puts thoughts into the minds of those that there is absolutely no way of knowing what they really felt, but she's researched so much about the

period and the people that she's writing about that you feel you are right there with her. She truly is a gem of a writer. As a writer myself I truly can admit that I really admire how she uses her craft. This is a fantastic book. Read it. I know it will make you clamor for more.

#3 - The Book of Lies played on another of my favourite reading passions - religious mystery. This is an action packed adventure based in current day but with a little bit of history mixed in. The story goes on the search for the tool that Cain used to kill Abel. Again, based a little on fact, but a lot on speculation, I found that I couldn't put this down. It was action packed. Good read if you feel like getting caught up i

n the story.

#4 - Winter Solstice by Rosamunde Pilcher was actually my 3rd book, but I had to put it down and read The Book of Lies. I found the story was really hard to get into. It was really heavy and reading it in the winter made it difficult. So I took a break, got lost in an action adventure book - and then picked this back up again later. Lucky for me, I was in the right mind. The protagonist in this book is not your typical 30-something going on an adventure, it's about a 60-something woman trying to get her life back together after going through heartbreak and loss. Her positive outlook and her will to keep on going was wonderful. If anything, it helped me get through this winter in a good way. I'm glad I finished what I started.

#5 - Julie Garwood again with Shadow Music. Based again in the Highlands during medieval times. It was an easy read, but so good. Every time I read a Julie Garwood novel I want to be the heroine in the story, being caught up in passion. ah. good story.

#6 - Found Wanting by Robert Goddard took me back to action adventure and puzzles. Every adventure book has to have a treasure, and this one is no exception - Anastasia from Russia, Nazi Germany and some crazy business with Russia and Norway. It's another book that was difficult to put down -even brought it to work to read during my lunch hour. I had to know how it ends. The title was very fitting as even at the end of the book you felt like there were still questions. With that said, it's a good book. Great way to get lost for awhile.

#7 - Bitch Posse by Martha O'Connor. From what I read, she's a new author but she's a writer of my generation and her story was based in my times. Honestly - I w

as a few bad choices away from

being a member of the Bitch Posse in real life. I really felt that I related to the characters - all of them. The story used a technique that I enjoy, flipping back and forth through time to help the story move along but at the same time explaining the depth and reasoning behind current day decisions. It was a great book. Maybe men won't get it, but any girl from my generation should get it and if she doesn't - she doesn't deserve to read it. :)

Honestly, the books this year have been good. I think all of them are worth reading. Can't wait to read the other 19. Yikes! 19 more to go. I better get reading!

200 posts!!!

2011-01-29T06:13:00.000-08:00

According to my dashboard I have posted 200 posts! Amazing that I've had so much to say. I know by Twitter that I have crap more that has come spewing out of my mouth.

With that said, I'd like to thank blogger for creating a platform that allows me to spew my thoughts whenever I feel like it.

I'd also like to thank my sister for organizing breakfast this morning for my brother-in-laws birthday. I really like breakfast. When I logged on, I was intending on talking about breakfast in Cambridge. Perhaps I'll save that for another day and just leave you with a word of wisdom that I learned a long time ago:

Don't run with scissors.

Stay safe out there.

Love and the Bachelor

2011-01-17T17:21:00.000-08:00

Watching the Bachelor. I know. Quel suprise. I'm addicted to the stupid lovely doveyness. I want these gorgeous people to fall in love. Scratch that, I want everyone to feel love. I want everyone to get the chance to feel what I feel with my husband.

I know, I know. Sappy love junk. What the heck is wrong with me?

Well I'll tell ya - I'm in love. With my husband. Crazy isn't it?

Anyhow - enough mushy gushy stuff about my husband. Let's talk about the Bachelor.

Sadly, I never watched Brad's season of the show. I didn't know all of his dirty secrets but I did know that he was the guy everyone couldn't believe didn't pick a girl. Now here he's back and has a chance to find love again. It's not very often that people get to do that. I know personally it's not the way I would choose to find love.

I think love takes a lot of time to develop into something lasting, but I do believe that it can start in an instant. I've seen people have incredible passion instantly, but that generally doesn't last very long. I've seen others have a slow building friendship that turned into love when they realized they couldn't live without each other.

My husband and I - we weren't friends first. Well not for very long at least. We met online - we opened ourselves up to each other. It was exciting on so many levels and it allowed us to build into something awesome. I still find it amazing to still be in love with him after so many years. I wonder if this is what will happen for Brad on the Bachelor? I really hope so.

There are so many amazing women on this show and I really think Brad is a good guy. I do think he's feeling quite a bit for several of the girls. I hope that he can narrow it down. God - I can't even fathom having to choose!

Anyhow - the show's getting juicy so I'm going to get watching.

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike!

2010-12-27T12:01:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't heard - I GOT A BIKE!!!!!

I've been yelling and cheering about it all day long. I realized a few months ago that I really wanted a bike. Unfortunately, I didn't really do anything about it and refused to ask for one for Christmas. I never thought that anyone would be able to get one in their budget. Bikes are big business and can get really expensive.

When I was a kid I was a pretty skilled bike rider. I learned to ride a two-wheeler and never looked back. When it came time for the annual Hespeler Optimist Bike Rodeo, I was right there in my element. The rodeo gave me a chance to show my skills, my hand eye coordination, my safety knowledge and my super awesome ability to rock my bike. I actually won the entire rodeo twice and came out with two new bikes.

Unfortunately those bikes were all gone over the next few years, including my awesome purple bmx that I used to win the rodeo. The first bike was a mountain bike and my dad ended up giving it to my cousin who's parents couldn't really afford a new bike. The second was a 10 speed that my dad gave to my niece when she outgrew her own bike. I wasn't really riding it all the time anymore as I had my drivers license so it wasn't that big a deal.

And here I am, 32 years old and would love to go for a ride, but no bike to do it. I started looking off and on with www.kijiji.ca. What's nice about kijiji is that you are able to search in specific areas and price ranges. Sure I saw some wonderful bikes that were a little too expensive, and then some crappy bikes at wonderful prices. I emailed someone on a bike at the end of the summer that they said they were selling for their grandmother. The bike was all awesome and retro and looked perfect for my needs. Sadly - they never responded and the ad even stayed up for a month longer. Every time I saw it I got this bad taste in my mouth.

Two days before Christmas I suddenly realized that I should've asked for a bike from Santa. I started looking pretty seriously again at bikes and noticed an advertisement from a bike shop in Kitchener that was having a big sale this week. My dream bike was on sale half price - but that was still over $300. Knowing that I needed a good solid adult bike, I was almost ready to go buy one.

Turn on boxing day. I knew that people would be selling things after Christmas, I thought I'd give it a shot. Kijiji allows you to sell things second hand so would this be my chance to find a bike??? I log on and not only did I find a bike, but it was in Cambridge - located within a bikes ride of our house! The price was just over $100, it was cruiser, has white wall tires and a basket. I've always loved my mom's retro bike - of course hers was actually from when she was a teenager so it truly is an original. Her bike has a book rack, where the one I was interested in has a basket.

I sent off a message "I would be interested in seeing the bike." I was going to include more, but my loving husband thought that was enough. If I was first to respond, they should be able to answer and I might get a bike. Hours and hours went by and I kept checking my email for a response. Sadly - there was nothing. I gave up by the evening but was shocked when my husband turned on the computer to see that I had gotten an email. We arranged to meet the following day (today).

We drove over this morning and as soon as I saw the bike I couldn't help but smile. The bike wasn't overly used, and the gentleman who was selling it on behalf of his wife told us they were updating to a mountain bike because they wanted to get more off the beaten path. The gentleman we dealt with was so nice. He even adjusted the seat lower so that I could ride on it with my short legs. I was so excited to hear the little ding of the bell, and how easy it was to get the basket on and off so that I can take it shopping with me.

The hubby took a ride and compared it to a shopping cart. I knew that would be what I was getting. Being that I'm not the same kind of skilled rider I once was, I knew that this bike would not be winning the bike rodeo any time soon.

I honestly, couldn't stop smiling the whole time. The bike had to be mine and I was so happy to give him the money and put it in the car. as soon as we got home, I hopped on the bike took a spin for myself. I'm still smiling at it now - even though it was bloodly cold!!!

I'm the proud owner of a Schwinn 3-speed Cruiser with a basket, bell and white wall tires. And I'm happy. Oh so happy. :)

Do you really know someone?

2010-12-23T15:37:00.000-08:00

In my life I have had the pleasure of meeting some really wonderful people. There are those that have made me laugh, those that have taught me and those that have been there through the rough times. I would like to say I've had some wonderful friends in my life.

My parents always taught me to see the good in everyone and to trust my instincts. In light of recent developments, I wish I had trusted mine.

No More Mrs. Nice Gal

2010-12-15T16:37:00.000-08:00

Most of the time, I am Mrs. Nice Gal. I treat everyone with respect, I hide when I feel that I've been slighted and I don't try to rock the boat.

Not today.

My negative, swearing, take no shit from anyone attitude has come out just in time for the holidays.

All started when my tire blew on the way home from work yesterday. Shitty enough, but was able to call CAA and get them to come. Sadly, due to the freezing temperatures and the sheer number of car accidents, it was going to be up to a two hour wait. They came, they tried to take the tire off. Oh wait, what's that? They can't because the dealership stripped the locking mechanism LAST FUCKING WEEK when we had the tires rotated? How can they do that and not say anything?

it was bad enough that as we drive off the lot my husband noticed my headlight was out, but for them to have stripped the lock too - I was not impressed. I had to wait for a tow truck. I at least could turn the heat on every once in awhile. I tried to do it discreetly since they have instituted the no idling law. I figured the cop would understand if he came by. It was winter and I truly was a damsel in distress.

The whole time sitting there waiting for nearly the full 2 hours to get on the road, I was able to stew in my anger and disbelieve. The colder I got, the more angry I got. And the angrier I got, the more it spilled over into other areas of my life.

I've sat and watched people walk all over me and say snarky comments and let them slide. Maybe I was reading into it, I kept telling myself.

Well last night and today - I decided I wasn't going to let that happen anymore. I'm not going to be walked on.

If I don't like what you are doing, I'm going to tell you. I might swear at you and I may call you names, but I need to tell you. Would you rather I bottle it up and blow, which I am gearing for as soon as I walk into the dealership to get my car. The time for calm rationalization is over. You are not going to walk all over me.

Basically, I'm writing this post to give you fair warning. I'm through with being nice. I want justice and I want whats right.

Year of the baby has turned into The Year of Divorce?

2010-12-12T19:55:00.000-08:00

What started out as a huge year for babies being born has turned into a year for a lot of people breaking up in my life.

I've been on this world for almost 32 years and I've never had so many people I know breaking up and getting divorces. People that I really care about are suddenly finding themselves single after years of being in a relationship.

Some might say that I've had my share of relationships before I met my husband, my longest being just over 3 years. Because of this experience, I know how hard it can be to suddenly find yourself out in the world. It's a scary place to be and experiences can be really strange.

Lucky for me, I was never married and never lived with anyone that I ended up splitting from. I can't even imagine having to figure out how to manage a household and children after so many years of having everything shared. It just seems like a huge change and I really feel for everyone I know that is/has split from their spouse.

Added to the stress of having their relationship end, they are now faced with having to answer the questions. How do you respond when someone asks where your spouse is? I really commend them for getting up and out and taking on the world. I know it's hard, but every day will get easier. Every day they will get up and experience new things.

I think this is a rough time of year, no matter what. But I also think it's a great time of year to have family and friends around that support and love you. You can reach out and ask for help if needed. I'm so glad that those I know who are finding themselve suddenly single are able to reach out. And I'm very glad, that they chose to reach out to me.

I have some wonderful friends and family around me that are fantastic and are completely able to offer love and support. I can honestly say that they have guided me when I needed it, and I'm glad that I've pulled from their strength to help others.

With that said and done, I can't tell you how much this has made me love my husband more and made me so happy that I have him in my life. He came to me years after I had been broken down by an ending. I knew what I wanted, and he checked all of those things off my list and then some. I can honestly say we keep growing together. We have had endings by moving, and beginnings with new locations. There has been so much to build on and it's been a really great experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.

As they say - everything has a beginning and an ending. Every ending, means a new beginning. I really look forward to seeing how they move on from here. They can do anything they want with their lives. I am so happy to be able to be part of their next phase.

Adventures in Shopping

2010-11-27T17:38:00.000-08:00

I went into a store today. It was a Saturday.

*Gasp!*

I know I can hear you from where I am sitting. I made a pledge to myself that I was done shopping and any gifts I forgot will just need to be purchased by my loving hubby. No need to give myself a panic attack right?

Well this week my husband and I took a little jaunt over to a local chain store in downtown Preston. It was a weeknight, nothing really was going on and we had eaten early so it was still supper time. This store isn't normally that busy on a given day, although we have been there when there are lines but that's more due to lack of cashiers than actually being really busy. The store itself is considered kind of a knock off type establishment. They like to copy looks for less and rarely has anything that is brand name. Or rather - they have brand names, but they aren't really names you've ever heard of.

I realized when looking through all our presents that we needed two more gifts. Nothing really exciting, but they would knock off our list. I already told my hubby he needed to do the purchases as I can't handle shopping at this time of year. He was cool with that, but in a rare move I decided that we should go check out this store.

I'm a big girl. Okay, I'm a plus sized girl. Not really model material unless it's for one of those Big, Bold and Beautiful type clothing lines. Not too many stores carry things in my size and this is one of the few stores in town that does. Sure it's knock offs, but for a girl like me who is used to spending $30-$50 for a t-shirt that her girlfriends pay $5-10 for it's a good investment. Also, styles change and really - who looks at the tags.

I wasn't going in looking for me, and in fact, didn't find any clothes that were just right but I did find something amazing. New curtains. And not just any new curtains. Coloured new curtains made out of one of the worlds best fabrics - corduroy. Yes folks, I found ORANGE corduroy curtains for my living room that look and feel amazing. And that isn't even the best part. The curtains were $10 a panel. Did I mention that this store was made of awesome and has everything?

We hmmmed and hawed over it, and of course my stomach decides it's had enough so we had to leave. All week since we left I've been kicking myself for not picking up the curtains. For $40 we'd have a brand new living room! Both my husband and I have hated having the beige walls, beige curtains and beige sofa in that room. Punches of colour in the pillows just doesn't add enough oomph. I'm a colourful person. Bring on the colour!

So today after kicking myself for not going, I decided I needed to get there. Even just to see that the sale was still going. I brought my game face, knew that the curtains were at the very front of the store and I could leave anytime that I wanted. I was by myself, I didn't have any outside pressure pushing me in any direction and no one was with me that HAD to go and get the latest Justin Beiber bedspread. (Yes, this store even had those!) I was a woman of my own destiny and I was going into war.

Yes war.

Quit looking at me like that. You aren't the one who starts to get tunnel vision, start hyperventilating and feel like everyone is staring at you and going to hit you and knock you over. Shopping for you isn't a scary experience so please excuse me feeling like it is.

Anyhow, I was ready for war. Found a great parking space as the parking lot wasn't that busy. It was busier than when we were there earlier in the week, but it was manageable. I go inside the doors and it was like angels started singing. The curtains were still on sale and all the gorgeous orange ones were right up front. I could hear Hallelujah being sung as I sauntered over to the rack. Shoppers were going past me in all directions and I couldn't believe no one else was snatching these up.

I've looked into curtains for the living room for a long time. And by long, I mean since we actually put an offer on the house nearly 2 years ago. I wanted colour, we wanted something a little heavier in fabric and my husband was insistent on the big huge grommets that you see on all the decorating shows. The fact that I found some for $10 a panel when every other store we've seen them has them listed as $40 a panel - it was a miracle. I began the painful process of hunting through the rack of about 50 or so orange panels (there were black, grey and blue there too) to find matching sets. We have two windows that currently have 3 panels each. Finding four or 6 curtains that were an exact match was my mission.

Soon I hear the pumping tunes of my youth in my head as a woman comes up to start looking too. I see her eyeing the price and she starts going through the rack with me. I wasn't letting my curtains get away. I started grouping the panels by colour, and then I start grouping them by material. I kept finding 3 of a like type and colour, but couldnt' find four. I was getting irritated as this woman is starting to look at the colours I haven't sorted yet. And then it happens.

The woman leaves the side of the rack I'm working on, grabs a random blue panel and walks away.

The angels start singing again and I can carry on with my task.

Remembering that there were a handful of the panels in the store in the regular window covering section, I take my favoured colour/material inside and make my way to the section. My brain starts playing Danger Zone as more and more shoppers are heading around me. The closer I get the song gets quieter as I have my eyes on the prize. I am looking at the aisle with the curtains and I am going to get the ones I want.

Ugh! Another woman looking at the same exact section I want. Why??? Why can't she go to the toys or the candy like everyone else in the store. Why curtains? I make my way around with a cart so that I can lean if I need to. My cart being a saving grace so no one gets to close. I think if someone touched me I'd run for the hills. I end up seeing cute purses, with no one around.

Of course I had to stop. Who wouldn't? As I'm standing there looking at the purses I notice a sign. "No Tax Weekend" it reads. My heart leaps with joy and I hear a single "Hallelujah" as I realize my $10 curtains will really be $10! I grab a great purse and wander back over.

Woman is gone. Yes, I say to myself. Eyes focused I start seeing patterns inside that I didn't see outside. The colours were all so similar but I just couldn't match them all up. I start sorting as I did outside and soon found two sets, similar colours but with different patterns and they all had 4 of the same panels. I put them in my cart and decide to keep wandering around before deciding. I kept touching them to see which fabric was the best as both of them had different types of corduroy. Soon I see those slippers needed for my father in law, and then a wonderful bathrobe for my incredibly shy perpetually single Uncle-in-Law who is considered part of the immediate family. Really feeling triumphant I realize that it's time to make a decision. I've got a great purse. I've got the last two Christmas gifts needed and now I just need to narrow down which set of curtains I will chose.

A beautiful angel appears wearing a black sweater with long blonde hair and a nametag. "Oh I see you are looking at curtains," she says to me with a smiling face. I know this is my chance - finally someone to make the decision for me.

I show her both, ask her opinion woman to woman and she selects the type with the best texture. As my heart was kind of leaning in this direction, I thank her for her help, put the other curtains back and make for the checkout.

There isn't any music in my head as I pull my full cart to the register and find there is barely any line and I'm only standing behind a single man with a movie in his hand. The check out girl smiles warmly to me and talks about one of the things she admires in my cart and it takes my mind off the line of 10 people that lined up behind me.

Soon she's bagging everything I've bought, I'm paying my bill and making my way to the car.

I did it. I triumphed and yes, the curtains look amazing.

Tractor Breakfast

2010-11-25T15:26:00.000-08:00

Below is a story that I wrote that was recently published here.

The air was brisk on Saturday October 23 when tractors of all shapes and sizes started gearing up for the Tractor Breakfast and Bake Sale at Kirkwall Presbyterian Church. With the leaves in shades of red and gold, people from neighboring farms and villages took a break from their activities to ride on into Kirkwall, Ontario to share some stories, have a hearty breakfast and show their support for the church.

From John Deere to Massey Ferguson, over 13 different types of motorized tractors from farm machinery to your small lawn tractor made the ride. Several participants also brought pedal tractors, die-cast tractors, homemade wooden and tin tractors. Breakfast-goers came from all around including the communities of Aberfoyle, Cambridge, Crieff, Clyde, Morriston and Sheffield.

The Tractor Breakfast was the brain child of congregation member, and tractor enthusiast Howard Hill after hearing of similar events happening in other areas.

"The church is in a rural area and has lots of farming background," said Mr. Hill who was happy to see Reverend Tom Billard on a tractor for the first time. "Us guys like driving our tractors and need an excuse to drive them."

The event brought in over 130 people, young and old into the church located in the heart of Southwestern Ontario in hopes of raising funds and awareness for the church. Mr. Hill talked to local businesses and farms with regards to coming to the breakfast and donating goods for door prizes. He was seen donning a bright yellow jacket calling numbers throughout the breakfast with many happy cheers from the winners.

Members of the Tractor Breakfast Team, including the entire Women’s Auxillary, worked hard on the event, preparing a hearty meal as well as baked goods. The meal included locally produced eggs and maple syrup which were provided by members of the church congregation.

“The ladies worked so hard to bring the food,” said Rev. Billard with pride. “We have a lot of talented people here.”

The Tractor Breakfast is one of many events for the Kirkwall Presbyterian Church which has set a very high goal of an expansion on the back of the church which was originally built in 1887. The expansion is the largest of it's kind in over 100 years, says Rev. Billard. “It means we’ll be able to be more accessible to our entire congregation.”

As the Sheffield Presbyterian church was amalgamated with Kirkwall, some of the churches weaknesses started to become apparent. Accessibility was an issue and there became a strong need for an elevator. The children’s playroom and Sunday School area was also too small to accommodate the growing number of youth coming to the church each week and there has become a need for a dedicated meeting area.

“The nursery and the multipurpose room will allow for a better children’s program,” said Rev. Billard. “It will help us reach out to families.”

Nine-year-old Zakary Schmitz agrees. When asked about how he felt about the addition, the blonde-haired boy smiled and said “It’s going to be much bigger.”

The plans include: building an elevator that will lead up to the sanctuary, accessible washrooms, a meeting room and storage space. After talking to contractors in January, Scheidel Construction broke ground at the start of October and is being watched over by the Board of Managers, the Session and the entire congregation.

The church has been working hard for the past year to raise the funds for the addition but this hasn’t been their sole focus. They congregation banded together for Haiti after the devastating earthquake rocked that country by raising funds, knitting and donating blankets and washcloths. After the recent tsunami in Pakistan they raised over $1500. In the summer, the church hosted a Corn Roast and a Chili Luncheon to raise fund for the Canadian Food Grains Project.

“Our congregation is very hard working and action-oriented,” said Rev. Billard. “They put their faith into action.”

The next big event for Kirkwall Presbyterian Church will be an annual Robbie Burns Dinner. A local favourite that takes place at the end of January with proceeds going to the Presbyterian World Service and Development. Last years dinner raised enough money to put in a well in Malawi, a landlocked country in the heart of Africa.

With all their hard-working determination and community spirit, the congregation is still short on the amount of money needed for the construction and many future events are in the works. If you would like to help Kirkwall reach their goal, donations would be greatly appreciated. Any donation over $10 will be issued a tax receipt.

Please send donations to:
Kirkwall Presbyterian Church
c/o Jeanette Jamieson
2055 8th Conc. W
Cambridge, ON, N1R 5SZ

Flash Mob!

2010-11-21T07:54:00.001-08:00

I was going to write about the Cambridge Santa Claus parade that happened last night but something more interesting has piqued my interest. Flash Mobs!

I don't know if I mentioned it, but this summer when my hubby and I were talking about going to the Taste of the Danforth, I found out that there was going to be a flash mob. If I learned the steps, i too could've participated. Sadly, I didn't find out until about a half hour before we were slated to leave. (We also didn't end up there but that's another story.) I was interested as I had heard of these things but hadn't really paid much attention. I never thought I'd ever see one, let alone be in one.

This morning someone who I follow in twitter posted a link to a flash mob. This mob broke out into song in the middle of a mall food court. It was gorgeous. The acoustics in the food court and the wonderful voices were amazing. I had never heard of a singing flash mob.

So of course being in the holiday spirit from the parade, I decided to see if there were more Christmas flash mobs. I found loads of them on Youtube. Most of which involved dancing. They were in Times Square, in train stations, shopping malls. They danced to so many different themes. The dancers ran from the very young, to fairly old. All ages took part as long as they could learn the steps.

My favourite one that I found was from Central Station in Antwerp, Belguim. They preformed to The Sound of Music. Perhaps it is because this is one of my absolute favourite movies of all time, but the song and the dancing is amazing. I also loved the reactions of the people who were just walking through the train station and had no idea what they were walking into. Click on the video below and bask in the glory.

The Great Election Debate

2010-10-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how hard it was for me to decide on a candidate in my ward for this municipal election that's happening tomorrow.

I won't tell you who I'm voting for - but I will tell you how exciting it will be to see the outcome.

I'll be honest - I didn't vote in the last election. It was really hard because at the time I was living out of the region of Waterloo and really had no idea what the issues were. I didn't really pay attention to what was going on around me in that I had an apartment and we never got the newspaper. I also didn't get out and enjoy the town I was living in so it really didn't matter to me who got voted in.

So the last time I voted was 8 years ago. I was living in Ward 4 - voted at St. Peters elementary school and voted for Ben Tucci. I felt he was really standing up for us and I liked the idea of someone with experience on council. I had met him on a professional level and he seemed to really care about the people in his ward and he knew what he was doing.

Fast forward to this year - I'm back in Waterloo region, living in my own house in the brand new Ward 1. The ward is huge - covers parts of Hespeler, Preston and Blair. There are so many different issues and so many different types of people living and working in this ward. I guess it shouldn't have been a shock to have the most number of candidates running - Ten. Yes 10 candidates. All thought long and hard before running in this election.

Some even got out pounding the pavement a month in advance to get the word out. All have walked through the neighbourhoods knocking on doors and trying to win votes. There is no clear leader and no clear loser in this race.

For me, there are a few things that really stand out to me in a regional election and more specifically my ward.

#1 - I want someone who knows what's going on in my ward. If they lived there, grew up there or their kids go to school there - it means a lot that they understand the needs in our area.
#2 - That they don't focus on one area more than the other. As our ward covers Hespeler, Preston and Blair - the candidate that is going to win my vote should not focus so much on one area that they seem to forget the other.
#3 - I want someone that understands local politics and has experience in some sort of council. I know all the people running in my ward are fairly new, but some have run for different councils or headed committees in the past. I want someone who can speak up when needed, and sit back and listen when necessary.
#4 - I want someone who is a good speaker in public. I don't want someone who is going to be nervous and have a shaky voice. That's not going to instill confidence in their performance.
#5 - I want someone who WANTS to be there. If they can't come out to debates, or they say that they don't want to be a career politician - that means they aren't really wanting to win. It makes me question their motives.
#6 - I don't want someone who is slinging mud at other candidates. I want a clean fight. I want to hear what you can do - and not what you don't like about the other guy. I guess that's more geared towards the mayoral race and the regional race.

One of the things that really worries me about a candidate is if they aren't informed. They need to understand the limitations within their role on council and what the history of the council has been. If someone comes in that hasn't lived in Cambridge long, they better really know their stuff. If they've never shown an interest in politics before, they won't get my vote.

I asked on twitter the other day who people thought I should vote for. the majority of responses said "Election? What election?" I had two people offer up suggestions, but only one of them backed it up in facts. I take all input into consideration when it comes to something like this. Some really important things are coming up for our area. I want to know what people think so I can make an informed decision.

This was why it was really good for me to find the Cambridge Citizen. It's a local website that has some political commentary. They've opened it up for all candidates to write in and participate on discussion boards. I've loved seeing politicians becoming real people. Actually commenting on things that I have to say.

I've never felt like my opinion mattered until this year.

A friend of mine is running for School Board Trustee - and I'm going to vote for him. We met online, and really that means nothing to some people, but through online conversations we met fact to face. He's one of those people that surprised me. He looked me in the eye, he asked my opinions and really listened. I want people like that involved in politics in my area. I think Colin Carmichael is a wonderful candidate and I really hope he gets in. See his website here.

The first candidate running in this election that I talked to actually came out to an event this summer. She was running for regional council and I was really impressed that she came to a local event and actually talked to EVERYONE there. She handed out her business card and got people engaged. As a teacher, Atinuke Bankole is used to talking to large groups of people. I was a little surprised to see her out so early, it was August after all, but she got me thinking. I've never really given elections much thought on the regional level, but she really made me want to. I watched her video from the Cambridge Chamber of Commerce and I was really impressed. She knows a lot about politics and I think she would be a really fresh voice for Cambridge at the Regional level. To see her website go here.

I'm not trying to endorse one way or another. How you vote really needs to come from your heart. I just know that it's been really exciting this year to actually get involved. To feel that I have a voice and that my voice is going to be heard on October 25th.

I am from Cambridge.
And I AM voting on election day.

My night at the Chainsaw

2010-10-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

There is something so comforting about being the sober person in a bar.

Went out last night for a friends birthday. She's a fairly new friend, but I've felt like I've known her for ages. I know in my heart that she would do anything for me if I needed her to - and that includes picking my drunk ass up off the floor.

For her birthday she had one request - she wanted to go to karaoke. Knowing some of her history - I know that this girl used to be a karaoke host - or Karaoke Jockey in the past. She was a regular at some fantastic karaoke nights. She understands how important the levels are and how sometimes the crowd can make the night. As she moved back to this area of the province recently, she put it out there to the Twitterverse that she wanted to go to karaoke and where should she go. Nearly every person that responded told her to go to the Chainsaw. Which sadly - does not have a website for me to direct you to. Or if they did, I couldn't find in my half-hearted attempt to find it in the top 3 pages of google results.

Anyhow - my hubby has gone to karaoke there on a couple of occasions and really enjoyed that sometimes people were willing to dance for you if the song was right. Even he agreed that this was a great place to go.

As I knew the hubby would be one of the few boys in a sea of girls, I knew it was safer if he could relax a little over some wobbly pops. It didn't seem fair that the birthday girl had to drive either since she should be able to kick back and relax and so I decided to be the DD. Younger me would've fought tooth and nail to avoid this fate, but older me knows how much fun it can be.

As the sober person in a bar you can watch everything and everyone. More than half have no idea that you are watching their drunken behaviour and those that do could care less. I was able to sit back and laugh at all the craziness going on around us, and even at our table while everyone seemed to be having a great time. The mood of the place really helped me to enjoy myself and I was very glad I wasn't drunk or I might have been one of the girls on stage singing the B52's love shack and screwing up the words.

We arrived at the end of some "love bingo" being run by the Love Shop and the University so we saw some really interesting things. From blow up man dolls to battery operated boyfriends. As they streamed out you could find condoms on the floor, which of course needed to be passed onto the birthday girl. Safe sex is important after all.

Slowly the sex toys were replaced by all sorts of people with all different tastes and styles. From the girl "Candy" with the frizziest white and pink hair ever, to the man in the cowboy hat and NASCAR jacket, to the older lady with a Travis Tritt t-shirt to the cast of the Jersey Shore at the table beside us. There was a girl wearing all back but with hot pink shoes, hot pink belt and hot pink earrings. There were many girls wearing skirts so short you could almost see their underwear and metalheads with incredibly long locks, bullet belts and screaming voices.

there was such a mish mash of people and everyone seemed to be getting along. (In the case of the jersey shore couple beside us - possibly getting along too well for a public setting until she poked him in the eye with her fingernail.) I was struck by how strange it was to see such an interesting group of people together. From the barely of age, to the senior citizen - everyone was there to have a few drinks, sing a song or two and generally have a good time.

I think the Chainsaw is trying to meet all of their clientele's needs and it was nice being in a positive atmosphere. From the worst singers to the best, everyone was just happy that you tried.

Of course no trip to a karaoke bar is perfect. The music levels were off, the speakers were regulated to one defeaning speaker rather than several spread around so that it doesn't blow out the eardrums of your patrons. The KJ didn't really do a great job of keeping things in order as he tried to add new singers to the rotation. As no one used the microphone stand, more and more people would trip on all the cords.

But the negative aspects of the night don't overshadow the smile that was on my friends face as she came off the stage from singing a hot little number. Her voice was amazing and everyone there couldn't help but cheer and catcall when she was up there. It was like she turned into this amazing diva that I knew was inside her but couldn't fully see the depths of until she was belting out a tune. It was electric.

Oh yes, being the DD when you have people who are genuinely having a good time, means that you can't help but have a good time. I'll have to remember that the next time I have to drive for girls night :)

The financing wait game

2010-10-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

My heart is racing.
Mind is spinning.
We are buying a new car.

Why does the financing have to be the scariest part? We come off the elation of making a big decision only to be in a room with the money guy. He hmms and haws over your personal finances. You feel so naked, exposed as everything is scrutinized. He says he needs to send it all in and then the waiting game begins.

Feeling a little violated you head home and wonder, am I good enough? Do I pass muster? Am I a risk they want to take?

I've bought two other new cars, both times were good. Both times I didn't need a cosigner. What if this time I do?

It's true, I have barely used my freeing card since buying the house but I sure used it before that. It was my best friend when buying stuff for my job. And stupid me never put the reimbursement cheques onto the card. The debt just built up and up. I never missed aayment, and always paid more than minimum but what if that isn't good enough?

So here I sit and wait. Naked and exposed.

But man, she's a pretty car. Hyundai Elantra Touring. Atlantic blue. Check her out.

It's Oktoberfest Time! Or is it???

2010-10-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Gemutlichkeit my husband and I decided to try and wrassle up some friends for some good old Oktoberfest fun. Problem is - we were dealing with a few roadblocks.

We live in Cambridge. This year is the first year where Cambridge would be hosting our very own Oktoberfest. The more we talked about it, the more excited we became. We started talking to others through one of our favourite forms of dialogue, twitter. And all we heard was a handful of people interested in going. They didn't know anything about it however - and were looking to my hubby and myself to organize everything.

As anyone living in the Kitchener-Waterloo area is aware - tickets are a very hot commodity - especially when the event has already started. People really love their Polka around this time of year, and really enjoy getting out and getting as drunk as humanly possible without hopefully vomiting on someones shoes. Any of the Kitchener-Waterloo festhalls will sell out well before Oktoberfest starts so our plan to go at this late in the game was a little behind.

We started searching online and although we did find that the www.oktoberfest.ca website was selling tickets, we were disappointed to find out that the tickets involved not only taxes - but service charges as well. This brought the price much higher than the $12 they would be charging at the door. In the day in age where you want to sell tickets in advance, wouldn't you think the tickets should be cheaper?

We kept searching around and other than find a phone number for a person with the Rotary, we couldn't find any other way that we could buy tickets. And heaven knows - if there are phones involved, me and my husband are just not interested. We are tech savvy, you would think a world class event like Oktoberfest would be tech savvy too. We were even willing to drive somewhere in town if we could, but there was no where to be found unless it was during the day. We work and telling the boss that we were leaving for an hour to go get tickets to Oktoberfest just wouldn't fly.

I sent a tweet to @kw_oktoberfest - the official twitter name for Oktoberfest and nearly a week later had not had a reply. My simple little question about how the tickets were selling in Cambridge and if any were left were ignored. It seems that Cambridge is small potatoes when compared to their big Kitchener-Waterloo cousins. But I wasn't completely put off. I wanted some good smooth beer and was really hoping I could get some.

It was with excitement that we found an article about the new Cambridge Festhall in the Cambridge Times this week. We were hoping for more information about where and when we can get tickets. Unfortunately it really didn't reveal much other than getting them at the door or potentially buying them from City Hall. We know from experience that you can drive into the Oktoberfest headquarters and pick them up - but that means heading into Kitchener. A lot of driving for us considering we really are within walking distance of the mall where the Cambridge Oktoberfest is being held.

Now folks - wouldn't it be nice to buy them from City Hall in advance of the event? Oh yeah - that's right - City Hall didn't get their tickets until Wednesday - the very first day that they were opening the Festhall. I have an inside source - don't ask me how - but they told me that the tickets just weren't available yet and they had no idea how we could get some in advance.

So here we are - wanting to support our community getting Oktoberfest but with no idea if it was worth trying to get in. We start talking to our peeps about the situation and when all of them found out the tickets weren't just $10.62 as advertised on the Oktoberfest website and were instead over $12 - they all started bowing out. It seems they had heard the rumors of high beer prices. When you couple that with a high door price per person and so much red tape that you didn't even know if you could get in - they just decided they weren't going to go.

The hubby and myself would love to be able to go out and support our community. So we've decided instead of taking our chances you will now find us on a patio, possibly in Preston, drinking some beers at a regular rate - not paying a huge door price - and enjoying what Cambridge has to offer.

For those of you in the Cambridge Rotary, I hope you enjoy your event. I also hope that you learn a few lessons for next year on how to better a) promote and b) sell tickets to the working stiffs like me.

Ah the theatre!

2010-10-02T05:09:00.000-07:00

Last night the hubby and I were able to partake in local theatre. Not everyone knows that Cambridge is home to Ontarios longest running community theatre. Otherwise they might be all clammouring to go see shows at the Galt Little Theatre.

When I called the box office two weeks ago she asked where I wanted to sit. Every seat in the house has a good view she said. Having never been there I asked her to pick a good spot for us. She selected Row H. Appropriate as our last name starts with that letter and this was an anniversary gift. How could I have expected that Row H, the 8th row from the stage was only a few rows from the back. When they say little theatre-they are right.

The funny thing about a small theatre, is that you feel more a part of the show. You are connected to the other audience members and as a collective the mood of the audience can be felt on stage. The seats are a little small for plus sized girls like me (or guys for that matter) but it was completely worth it. The price was very reasonable at $17 a ticket. This is a fraction of the cost for shows in the larger cities and venues. Also, each play only runs for two weeks which makes it even more valuable. The glimpse you have of the show is only for a limited time and for a limited audience. Small town theatre is completely worth it.

The hubs and I went to see a comedy-Moon Over Buffalo. It had a great cast of 7 characters acting out the roles of a group of people involved in the theatre around the golden age of television. The play had a fun concept to play with. Aging actors trying to keep their theatre troupe alive with dwindling ticket sales while striving to break into the silver screen. Suddenly they are faced with one last chance to break into movies and all sorts of outside factors break in to bumble things. The actors were comfortable in their roles and played them well. The many closings and openings of doors had the audience in stitches.

The character of George Hay, played by Gord Cameron was by far my favourite. He fell into character as the patriarch and 2nd biggest star of the company. He gets into mischief and brings a lovable feel to his role. Everyone else was strong as well. If there were slip ups, they hid them well. The actors projected well, stayed in character and were believable. It was quite enjoyable.

I do recommend that you check out this gem of a theatre if you don't have time for the play.

For more about the play, visit the Galt Little Theatre Website at the link.

Ah... Young Love

2010-09-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

Some things have been happening around me that have been reminding me of something that I haven't had for awhile - new romance.

Even though it's been a few years, okay it's been 7 years, but I remember how amazing it is to be in those beginning stages of a relationship. When everything is exciting and new. I remember wondering if the person I liked was liking me back. I remember being with them and just smiling. Heck I remember thinking of them and just smiling.

I have been with my husband for 7 years and I still get a little smile when I think back to the beginning stages of our courtship. And yes - I do think it was a courtship. This was when we got to know each other. I was impressed by his memory and his listening skills. I told him that I really liked yellow flowers and he showed up with them. I told him that I liked the letter Q and he made an entire CD titled the Quiet Quotient. It was filled with songs that made him think of me. My heart swooned in his creativity and basic simple caring.

I also remember how our relationship was built on friendship. That we would write and write each other email after email about ourselves, our families, our likes and our dislikes. Getting emails from him made my heart soar, and thinking about him made my mind race.

It was all so exciting and so new and I remember thinking that someday my bubble is going to burst. There is no way that this witty, charming, adorable dork of a man could really like me. Who am I? I'm just some overweight formerly athletic girl with a low paying job and no real passion for any one thing. Here was someone who was passionate about sports and music and computers. What would we ever find to talk about?

But that was the wonderous thing. We could talk about anything. No topic was off limits. We were open and honest with each other about our lives. I felt things building and I wondered if he felt the same way. But there was something there in his eyes when he talked to me - and I'll be honest, it's a look I've never seen him give any other woman. He looked at me like I was the only woman on the planet. He held my hand through everything and never shied away from being with me when around other people.

I promised myself that I would try and remember the rubber band theory - something my old roommate Bridgit and I obsessed over for a period of time and has always stuck with me as a great key to a relationship. It essentially means that relationships are like a rubber band. Initially you are really close and both in the same band. After a period of time, one of you will want to spread out and see friends and do things without you. If you chase after them, the band falls off because you are holding too close. If you stay where you are and remember that they will still come back, the band will stretch but not break. If instead you decide that you also want to spread your wings in retaliation, you might actually end up breaking the band. Either way, stay cool, stay calm and remember how you feel about the other person and the relationship should be fine. The book also talked about picking battles - but that's for another day.

Back to the point of this post - young love. I don't care how old you are, when your relationship is new you are experiencing everything as a young person. You get butterflies and you get nervous. You wonder if you should take the lead, or if you should let them. You worry that if you take the lead the other person may not feel the same way. Every young relationship seems like a risk. You are putting your heart out there.

It could be great - or it could be absolutely horrible. You could put your hand out there and touch them and they could recoil. You could pour your heart out and they could tell you the worst thing in the world "I only want to be your friend." It will be in that instant that your heart will break in two and you will do one of two things - you will go away and never forgive yourself for getting all the signals wrong - or you will go away and hate them for leading you on. You never know how it's going to go and you really hope and pray that there will be some way you can stay friends, or you can move on. You always will, you know. If it doesn't work out you will still go on living. You will still be able to breathe. You will love again.

When I met my husband, I had lived through the heart ripping. I was scared because lets face it - I couldn't believe that I was falling in lvoe again. But boy was I ever. I was falling hard and fast with every keystroke he sent. My heart was beating fast and my mind was racing. After a week of dating, I thought he liked me, but the big kiss hadn't happened yet. (Can't believe I'm admitting this - I was 22 not 17 for god's sake) I wanted to push things along just to make sure so I lightly rubbed the side of his leg with my finger. In my experience, this will mean the person I am interested in will grab my hand and start holding it. Or if he doesn't like it, he will pick up my hand and politely move it away and then gently inch the other way. Lucky for me - my hubby grabbed my hand and actually started to rub my leg in the same spot. Score one for the home team.

Remembering this makes me smile. Because I still do this with him from time to time and it never fails - he grabs my hand every time. Now we are 7 years on, married for almost 3 and I still get butterflies thinking of him and the wonderful times we've shared. Of course that may not have been the case had I not had my heart broken and ripped out. Through that I've come to appreciate just how special things really can be.

And I hope, that for all my readers, friends and family, that you also find that special someone to hold your hand - always.

My Sundays with HGTV

2010-09-19T13:54:00.000-07:00

I'm going to let you in on a little secret about how I like to spend my Sundays. In my pj's, in my basement watching home renovating shows. Oddly, the basement is the cleanest area of the house and tends to stay that way because we rarely use it. The other aspects of the house are used every other day of the week, but Sundays are basement times.

As we don't have cable, I've had to learn to rely on HGTV for my shows. Have to say, I love the fact there are very few commercials and I can watch whatever I want. Must say I wasn't sure what to think about not having cable but this is pretty nice.I don't know if this is just a bi-product of being older, but I absolutely love house hunting shows and real estate shows.

Until we bought our townhouse, I was a Property Virgin. I had gone house shopping with my sister when she was looking, but her price range, and my price range was completely different. Plus she and her husband were more willing to take on areas of a house that needed work. My husband and I, well we just aren't that handy. Also, my sister's budget was about $200,000 more than mine so I really couldn't gauge anything by what she and her husband were looking for.

After a few years of living with my husband, we decided that the time was right to get a place together. That started the whole process of us really sitting down to figure out what we could afford and mutually decide what we liked. We set ourselves a wishlist and kept getting distracted by different things. We even contemplated real pieces of work because the price was right. We could see the value in it - but we also lost sight of our goal.

And that's where shows like Property Virgins come in handy. Sandra (the shows host) really helps put things in perspective and draws people back to where they wanted to be in the beginning. She asks questions, gives options and helps you to narrow down the right property. Our agent Mary was really good in this respect too - but as our tastes changed near daily when we were out with her, she kept showing us anything that was in our price range in our preferred neighbourhoods.

It's amazing that we've made it on this journey and I have to thank HGTV for bringing the kind of programming needed to newbies like my husband and I were on the property ladder. They have continued through multiple other shows, such as Agent vs Agent, to help people buying or selling what to look out for and how to stay on target. I also have to thank HGTV for putting their awesome shows online for the rest of us without cable to catch up on the latest and greatest.

And now back to my regular Sunday programming.

Taking my life into my own hands

2010-09-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people that actually really liked going to school. It was always an opportunity for me to have a new start. New friends, new classes and teachers. It would lead to new adventures. So with all those back to school sales and advertisements I couldn't help but feel the need for change this year.

About a month ago I reached one of those lowest of low points in my life. I felt alone and I felt disgusted with who I was. I haven't been that low in a VERY long time. After a night and day full of tears and sadness, my sister, husband and closest friend helped me to come back to this world. They helped me see my value and that I was loved. Showed me that they are just three people of many who would notice if I wasn't on this earth before. It wasn't that I was dying or even thinking of ending things, but I was at an incredibly low point. I really owe them my life after being there for me.

I've been feeling depressed for months. I felt like I had no control over my life and part of that was because I internalized everything. I didn't want to burden anyone with what was going on inside me. I didn't want to ask for help. But then I did. And now I feel loved and supported. I've learned to let go of those holding me down and I've been thinking outside the box as to how I can overcome the obstacles in my way.

First I dyed my hair red. Well it's red-brown with blonde hi-lites underneath. That lifted my spirits and soon I was spending time with my sexy lady friends. I started exercising and laughing at myself. My laptop died and that freed me from having technological chains attached to me at all times. To help me still be connected, the hubs let me use the iPad and I've now been able to be anywhere in the house and be connected. One of my biggest worries came from the laptop and how hot it ran all the time. Now that it's gone I'm not as sad, worried or hot!

I'm looking forward to seeing the fruits of my labors realized. I've already seen some changes by losing a few pounds, laughing more and it's been really nice having people want to make time with me.

I am blessed to have a wonderful family behind me, great friends supporting me and a whole lot of love coming from an amazing man that I have had the pleasure of being married to for nearly 3 years.

A tweetluck with my tweetpeeps

2010-08-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight we are hosting the 2nd tweetluck ever. And I'm really excited but completely slacking on my cleaning duties today.

What is a #tweetluck you ask? Well it was an idea born out of a really great person named Wendy. She thought it'd be great to have some of her twitter friends together to eat food and enjoy a few laughs. Initially she thought of hosting in a local park, but there are huge rules against drinking in parks these days so she agreed to host at her house. She spread the word, and soon enough her deck was full of people, food and laughter.

Wendy and her husband Greg are great people and the event was a huge success. The hubby and I agreed that we would host the next one, before the last one was even over. We love hosting events and we figured this was a great way to have a summer event.

The joy of twitter means that you can widen your circle of friends and meet some really interesting people. This also means there will be some really interesting foods. I'm very excited to see what everyone brings tonight.

So you - if you are on twitter, send me a message and I'll send you the link to the event site and come on down. We'd love to see you :)

Tales of Toronto

2010-08-08T15:25:00.001-07:00

My husband and I took on a crazy adventure yesterday and it wasn't the adventure we set out for. My husband really wanted to go to The Taste of the Danforth as was mentioned in my post yesterday. However the more I researched it the more it freaked me out. Big crowds are my kind of personal nightmare. I was willing to go for him and so we set off. This is when it went a little insane.

Traffic was a nightmare.

Toronto traffic is pretty well known but it was a little insane to see how bad it actually was yesterday. The planning department is not neccessarily working with a full deck in that they decided with a Blue Jays game, a Toronto FC game and a major food festival going on it was a brilliant idea to shut down the highway that leads to all three locations. This took all the traffic off the highway and onto the side streets. Everywhere we went we were stuck in one traffic jam after another. It was crazy.

Traffic aside, we ended up doing some pretty interesting things and it will definitely be a day for us to remember.

UNEXPECTED ACTIVITY #1 --- Shopping

We very rarely go shopping for shopping sake. And we rarely if ever go to a shopping mall to do it. But we both got the itch when we got stuck in traffic on the 401. After some crazy roundabout ways we ended up at Square One. It had been so long since I was in a mall it was like we were entering a foreign world. I was drawn this way and that looking at gorgeous window displays and interesting patterns. I noticed that a bit of the early 90s is back with a twist in that there was a lot of plaid and Chuck Taylor converse sneakers are back with a vengeance. It's a slightly prettier version of plaid though in that the shapes are better cut to show off your figure. Long gone is the tank top with a plaid shirt over it. Now they are throwing in belts and ties to make the shirt match your shape. I haven't found one in my size yet, but I'm still happy to see plaid back on the shelves.

UNEXPECTED ACTIVITY #2 --- spending time at the beach

I've been itching to go to the beach for about a month now - and never thought that my wish would come true in Toronto of all places. No one was swimming but the beaches along the Lakeshore are gorgeous. There were so many sailboats and even a tall ship out in the water. We not only saw seagulls and Canadian geese, but there were some beautiful white trumpeter swans in the water. The Toronto lakefront has playgrounds, and wading pools. There are picnic areas as well. We got out and took a walk, had some ice cream from an ice cream truck and just reveled in the fact that we weren't still sitting in the incredibly slow moving traffic on the Lakeshore. It was amazing how we were so close to the busy hustle and bustle of all the diverted highway traffic but we felt like we were miles away. I can see why people flock to this area of the city any chance they can get.

UNEXPECTED ACTIVITY #3 --- going to Chinatown

After leaving the beach and getting stuck in the traffic again, we decided to head downtown - namely to the Chinatown area off Spadina. We've driven down there many times and have been amazed by how much it seemed like you were in a completely different city - one in the far east. The signs are in different languages and people are wheeling and dealing in languages we could only imagine. We pulled in and found a parking garage. I was slightly nervous by the area as there were definitely homeless people sleeping in the alleyways and there were so many people around that it was a prime location for me have a panic attack. My rule - keep moving. Luckily the people were mostly on the street but were really respectful of space. They didn't want to bump into me anymore than I wanted to bump into them. We ducked into a few of the little shops where we found many low priced items and some fun little items that we would never find on store shelves around Cambridge. There were toys that were made in Asia and translated into English so that they made us laugh. Loved seeing the "hair solon" and the many places to go and get a food massage or see a herbalist.

UNEXPECTED ACTIVITY #4 --- Eating in an Asian restaurant

I have never really eaten at a truly Asian restaurant so this was a new experience for me. The hubby was drawn in by all the meat hanging in the window from duck and chicken to pork and lord knows what else, we headed in. There were some really tasty looking options on the boards outside so we made our way in. The first thing we noticed was that this restaurant was fairly big but there were a lot of people eating and a lot of people working. The noise was a little overwhelming and I had a hard time hearing the hubby on the other side of the table. Staff yelled at each other across the restaurant and they all were bustling around. They were very helpful to the couple next to us who was completely new to Asian food. However I guess we knew what we were doing because we had a very difficult to understand waitress. My hubby ordered a combo meal that had three kinds of meat and rice and was served very quickly. I had some "Chicken in lemon sauce" that came with an egg roll. But the best thing I had was a Honeydew Melon Milkshake. It was so summery and delicious. I could tell they were making fun of me for using a fork, but I'd rather do that then look more like an idiot by using chop sticks. Go ahead - you can laugh at me too.

All in all it was a really great day. We saw areas of Toronto we may have never seen. Even being stuck in the traffic jams on Queen Street really showed different sides of the city and we loved seeing all the different neighbourhoods.

I still hate traffic, but I'm sure we'll go back to Toronto again.

The taste of the Danforth

2010-08-07T04:39:00.000-07:00

My husband really REALLY wants to go to the Taste of the Danforth today. He's mentioned it a few times but never made it happen over the years.

At the start of the warm spring we were talking about things we'd like to do this summer and he brought up how he's always wanted to go to the wonderful Greek Food but every year we've had something come up and it was too late to go. So like the good wife that I am, I told him that I'd write today's date down in the calendar that seems to rule our lives and therefore if someone asks us to do something, we would have to turn them down. The only thing that could trump it would be a wedding or a wedding/baby shower. The showers would only trump it if they were for a) someone we were related to or b) someone we really liked. Lucky for us - neither materialized and so we can actually go.

Personally I knew nothing about it other than it was a Greek Food festival in Toronto on the Danforth. I figured they closed the road and served food. I had no idea how big it was, or what to expect. So this morning I awoke incredibly early with the food festival on the forefront of my mind.

Just what have I signed up for?

Lucky for me, I have a little thing called the interwebs to get me informed. Here are a few things I've learned.

This party is pretty massive. They close the street for blocks and it fills up with thousands upon thousands of people.
They serve more than just souvlaki. In a video on their website www.tasteofthedanforth.com they have grilled corn and other tasty nibblies to tantalize your tastebuds
There will be a flash mob at 4pm. I saw the dance and it looks quite tricky. I'm sure that it's going to be completely awesome though and a real surprise for all those that don't know anything about it.
Parking for this festival is very VERY limited and will be difficult to find - especially later in the day. The subway is being touted as the absolute best option.
Did I mention there is going to be a very LARGE amount of people. I get very anxious in crowds and have panic attacks. I need to be mentally prepared and I must mentally prepare my husband for what might happen.
The festival starts at noon and runs until midnight - it might be smarter the earlier we are getting there.

Overall it sounds like the name of the game is the food. There might be a few other things to see, but it won't be a true carnival like some other festivals we've been to. I'm currently steeling myself from being caught in a wave.

I can do this. The food alone has me drooling. Will we see you there?

Zoom Zoom Zoo!

2010-06-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

It's official - my hubby is taking me to the zoo! And by zoo I don't mean just any zoo. I mean the big Metro Toronto Zoo.

If you are new here, you may not already be aware but I really like animals. My husband said it was one of the reasons he fell in love with me. Apparently when I see any sort of unexpected animal on my daily journey I start to squeal and get a big smile on my face. He has told me that it is one of my most endearing qualities.

Ever since before the holidays when Telus came out with those adorable hippo commercials I've been jonesin' to go and see them. I even entered an online contest and won my very own hippo! So it was a sign that I needed to go to the zoo.

A few of my twitter friends have also been talking about how much they'd love to go to the zoo too. Anytime it's been brought up I've been bouncing off the walls in excitement. Once it starts to sink in and I think about the reality of the situation, I honestly didn't think it was going to happen.

My husband takes his soccer very seriously and therefore would never miss a game - therefore Sunday's are out. Unfortunately he's so serious that he'd never want to go the day before a game or his legs might be pooched. As he just started a new job, we really couldn't take any time off during the week. It seems my dreams of the zoo were dashed.

It's not that I don't do anything without my husband, but something this awesome I'd want to share with him. It's been 10 years since I was there and he can't even remember going. I really wanted to share with him. I want to see what he likes and share those that I like with him.

Well my hubby came up with a fabulous idea. We're going to the zoo on Canada Day! It's a Thursday. As that weekend is a long weekend his legs won't be pooched and it might not be nearly as busy as it would be on a Saturday.

Now we just pray for nice warm but not too hot weather and no rain.

Hold on hippo! I'm on my way!!!!

Here Kitty, Kitty!

2010-06-23T18:24:00.000-07:00

A little something has entered my head and I can't seem to move past it.

I really want a cat.

Most people would think that my dog would be the biggest obstacle to overcome. After all most dogs don't neccessarily get along with cats. The Dude however loves them. We had a cat come meandering in through our doggie door the one day and he just sat there looking at the cat and then at me with this happy drooling grin on his face. He was fostered with a cat and they got along famously. He loves cats.

Nope, it's not the Dude I have to contend with.

It's my husband.

I love him. And I knew when we got together that he had a cat allergy. But at the time, I had a cat and he had no issues with her at all. She was a bit of a bitch and really was only affectionate with certain people. They had an understanding was how he always explained it to me. She would walk right across the back of the couch past him and come to me. He never once had a reaction with her and even pet her on a few occasions. She was a really special cat and I was devastated when she passed away.

He knew how sad I was without her, and after a reasonable amount of time he decided he was going to get me a cat. He wanted to make me happy so we trucked up to the big cat adopt-a-thon that the local Humane Society was having at Petsmart. I instantly fell in love with this crazy black and orange calico. The cat was playing with the tab on my zipper and was so gentle and fun. I asked to hold it and it melted in my arms. It was so loving and gentle and yet playful at the same time. She was declawed and was perfect for my tastes. I would've named her chaos.

He had a different vision. "I'm a designer. I like things symmetrical." So he picked out this grey snobby cat that was incredibly elegant looking. She was at the back of her cage and showed big signs of being a complete bitch. He asked to hold her and they tried to warn him that she might not want to be held right away. He reached his hand in and she scratched him. He pulled it out but tried again slowly and the bitch bit him. We decided she wasn't the kitty for us - even if he did want to name her Kennedy. We walked away to talk about things and that's when he told me to look at his arm. He had broken out in hives.

In that moment I looked into his eyes and I saw how much pain was there. I decided then and there that we would have a dog and that I'd have to give up on getting a cat.

It broke my heart, but I do all I can to get kitty love whenever I can. Friends and families with cats know that I love when their cat comes up for pets and love. I practically fall all over myself just to get close to them.

I chose to love my husband. I know that a cat cannot be part of my house.

But then my husband does something remarkable. He starts looking up what the causes of cat allergies are. He discovers that the cat allergy doesn't come from the fur or the dander but from the saliva. Of course the Kennedy kitty made him break out - she bit him. This gets him wondering if there is any cat breeds out there that are better for people with allergies - in particular breeds that actually have fur or hair.

He does all this and comes in and completely shines a light on my life. The hope that there is a way that I could have this man that I love and this pet that I love has brightened my skies.

Of course looking into it further we were able to see that the cats that are best for those with allergies are really expensive and not that common around here. Going to a breeder would mean spending nearly $1000 for a cat and that's before all the vet bills, food and kitty litter.

My hopes aren't completely gone. Cats are a big responsibility and many people don't really want them when they grow up. They get bored of their pets or they move where they can't take them. There are so many cats in shelters all around the world, that there has to be some that fit the bill for what we'd need.

So here's what they recommend:
- female, spayed is recommended
- cat breeds such as the LaPerm, Sphynx,Oriental Shorthair, Devon Rex, and Cornish Rex
- Siberian and Russian Blue breeds may be naturally hypoallergenic (I'm leaning to the Russian Blue)

With that said, time will tell if my kitty dreams come true. In the meantime - I have an awesome husband and loving pup. I'm a pretty lucky lady.

The politics of being me

2010-06-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

Recently one of my twitter followers described me as someone they enjoy following because I'm not political.

It isn't that I'm not political. As I am and I do have strong opinions on certain things. But I've taken a page from my parents note book. Don't talk about anything like that in writing. Save it for face to face contact. Even then, I know that I need to hold my tongue.

I have certain people in my life that take great offense to people opposing their views. These are generally those that are extremely political to the left or the right. They have views on nearly everything and it's easier for me to remain their friend if I just shut up.

I also don't like to talk about issues when I don't know all the facts. I like to think I'm well read but I'm not that knowledgeable on everything. It's better to leave the debate out of things and get to know the people that I'm talking to.

A few months ago I was having a wonderful morning with a fairly new friend who has very strong views on the environment and city living. I could've expressed my dislike for the way in which he talked about his views but chose instead to talk to him about his life and where he came from. I wanted to know more about him as an individual. I asked questions and got to know him. Soon he was expressing his feelings about life, his childhood and his family. I heard about family pets and the great loves of his life. By talking and listening I did what I do better than most. I had him open up to me like I was Barbara Walter.

That expression has been used by my husband on more than one occasion. It seems by not getting political, or rather looking past the political views of others, I am able to easily make friends and get people talking. Everyone has a story and I love hearing them. Every person that I talk to - I give a little of myself. You'd be amazed how much you get back in return when you do that.

Back when we were only dating, my husband introduced me to one of his more outgoing best friends. This friend was normally the life of the party and constantly coming up with ways to have people look at him. He wanted everyone to laugh all the time and sometimes went to extremes to do so. Within a 10 minute conversation with him I had learned all about his dreams and his job and where he wanted to go with it. My husband didn't have a clue that his friend had feelings and interests like the things he was telling me. He was amazed that in such a short period of time I had gotten to know his friend in ways he had never imagined.

I like to think it was my love of people, and my love of animals, that truly made my husband fall in love with me.

I like people. I like to try and keep people happy and when they aren't I want to understand why and I want to try and help them.

So to my twitter follower who thought I wasn't political. You are wrong. I just like people more than I like being political.

C'est Finis!

2010-05-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

I finished.

wow. Never thought it would end but here we are less than 5 months later and I am the proud owner of a new scarf! How did I get here. How did I become a person who can knit?

I've made some great friends since I started knitting and even before. And without them I really couldn't have made it here. I've listed them in no particular order below.

Really - I owe everything to Wendy. Without her teaching me how to get started and how to finish there wouldn't be a scarf. She was patient and kind and encouraging and I really feel blessed for knowing her.

Jodi helped push me along too by telling me that it was possible to finish and then even to move onto other things.

Sue Sturdy was a help without even talking to me. Her starting the project to Knit the Bridge in downtown Cambridge really was an inspiration.

My husband helped out too. He really thought it'd be a neat thing for me to learn something knew and potentially make some new friends in the process.

My future children were an inspiration too. I envisioned them going off to school all wrapped up in scarves made with love by their mother. (of course I also envisioned mitts and hats too because I really didn't think I'd stop at just doing scarves.)

Lindsey, my sister-in-law, also helped out with inspiration. She tried knitting and had some fabulous books for me to look at and admire. Her knitting was more about yarn she fell in love with and wanted to try making something. She has since given it up - but it was nice to know that she tried and that I could try too.

Growing up there was knitting all around me. My mother learned how to knit from her mother. She made two absolutely gorgeous sweaters among other things around the time she was quitting smoking. With three girls of similar sizes living under the same roof - we all took turns with her sweaters.

My main inspiration and truly the person who's kitting I have admired the most is my grandmothers. My Grandma Hyde was always knitting growing up. I got some wonderful mittens and sweaters when I was smaller and hated growing beyond them. When grandma was getting on in years she made the decision that before she was unable to knit anymore, she wanted to knit all of her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren sweaters. It took over a year but finally she was able to give us all a wonderful Christmas gift. My sweater was green and white and I still cherish it to this day.

It is so fitting that I've finished my first scarf in May. May was the month my grandmother was born and it was the month that she passed. Nearly 7 years ago to the day from when my grandmother left us, I've finished my first ever scarf. She tried to teach me back when I was in my early teens but I just had so much going on that I wasn't dedicated to the task.

It is with that in mind that I dedicate this first scarf to an amazing knitter and an amazing person - Grandma - I love you.

Thursday Night Television

2010-05-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, or maybe more than a few years ago, television came up with this crazy concept - let's put a bunch of people that don't know each other and make them live together as castaways in a strange environment. No electricity. No family. No friends. And they made them compete for a chance to win a grand monetary prize.

If you haven't guessed it, maybe you've been living in a cave or under a rock.

The show I'm talking about is of course - Survivor.

It started off innocently enough. The people came and made some friends and all had the hardest time voting someone off. But one player was manipulating the game. He saw that this was a game and a chance for cunning in order to win. He played everyone and it caused some drama. I know I'll never forget Sue and her speech. To watch it - go here. It's pretty awesome.

What happened with the final four of the first Survivor changed the way the game was played from then on out.

Sure I wasn't that into all the subsequent seasons, but there is something really special about this season.

It's Survivor Heroes vs. Villains. The heroes were selected for the way the chose to play the game and the "good" choices and integrity they had when playing. The villains were selected for their cunning in the way they played. Maybe they switched allegiances and ultimately screwed someone over, but they earned their stripes and were proud of their choices.

This season was different in that the alliances were all laid out very early. You could see the people voted off one by one and if you weren't part of the "in crowd" you were going home.

It's true that I haven't watched the entire time, but I've seen enough to know that certain people are being held in the game over promises that are truly not worthy. Russel for instance has gotten so strong that this needs to ultimately lead to his downfall. I have to keep wondering how long they will keep him in the game before they realize he's playing each and every one. I think everyone is afraid to make decisions for fear it will bite them in the ass later. Russel gets to make all the tough decisions.

I'm currently in the middle of an episode and I can see that this is very tricky. Who goes home? Who stays? Too soon to tell. All I can say is watch Survivor on Thursday nights.

Saying goodbye to the printed word

2010-04-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

Something interesting is going on in the ways of the world and as someone who appreciates the written word I'm wondering what it's going to mean.

With the release of the iPad and the Kindle, the idea of buying a book is becoming passe. Is this a good thing? Or is it bad?

I've been a voracious reader since a very young age. I'd beg my mother to take me to the library where I would carefully examine covers for gorgeous images and take as many books as were allowed. I'd carefully read over each word, examine every picture and when it was finished I would plead for more. I loved reading as a child, and that quickly grew. By Grade 4 I was reading high school level books and beyond. I may not have fully understood the exact words of what was being said, but I would lose myself in the story. I've found myself falling in love in a book, going on adventures of the real and not so real kind in others, I've been on both sides of the crime spectrum and lost myself to faraway lands and places close to home.

Needless to say - my love of reading turned into a love of writing. I wanted to write and to this day I would be doing that if it actually would earn me some money. Or rather, let me rephrase that. Because I did make some money from writing - and not bad money at that. What I would do if I won the lottery would be to buy a better laptop, a home near water with a dock and I would write my creative short stories and maybe, just maybe finish that novel that I started so many years ago.

But what would come of me? Would my work be published? And really what does published even mean if the concept of a book wouldn't exist?

Libraries allow you to borrow books in 3 week intrevals. This makes it difficult for people like my husband who take their time and absorb a book over the series of a few months not weeks. Not everyone can powerslam books like I can. He's the type of person that would be better suited to buying a book rather than having to pay the hefty library fines. Will he be happier in the paperless society that we seem to be entering into?

I'm not incredibly familiar with the Kindle in that I not only have never seen one, but no one I know has one. I guess I just don't fly in that kind of circle. But with the onset of the iPad, I know more and more people that will be reading books by way of their computers. What I'm concerned with is how will that work? Will it be like a library system where you "borrow" the work to read and then it goes back into their archives, or is this going to mean that you have to pay for everything you want to read?

I do admit that it would be quite convenient to have the urge to read a book hit you and within a few short clicks you have a wonderful story to get lost in. But you'll be stuck taking your electronic devise with you. Does this mean that when you want to go to the beach and lounge around you'll risk getting sand in your electronics? We all know that's a bad news moment waiting to happen.

There is something so comforting about being on the bus or in a waiting room and pulling out a paperback from your purse. You can be anywhere anytime. Will having an iPad or Kindle change the way that many of us read? Will it be strictly for those sitting at home?

I suppose if you live in a remote area it will be very convenient for you to just use your dial-up connection to get whatever your little heart desires. It'll be incredibly profitable for the publishing houses too as they won't have to be producing any books - they will just be promoting and making them available online. But what will that mean to the artists that wrote the books? How can they reach any acclaim? The main way that publishing houses gauge your success is by the number of times they need to send your book to print. If they aren't printing anything, how are authors going to fully be recognized for their abilities?

I'm sure there are many of you out there that love the idea of the kindle and the iPad but I think I'm going to stick with written word.

To Knit a Bridge

2010-04-21T19:07:00.001-07:00

The Cambridge Arts Council has come up with a really awesome activity that is letting anyone in Cambridge get involved.

We are going to knit a bridge.

You read that right - knitting a bridge. Cambridge is known for some really awesome bridges. It was built around the Nith and the Grand and founded mainly as three different communities. I wrote about them here. Galt and Hespeler were strong textile communities. We harnessed the power of the river and turned it into wonderful fabrics that became known around the world. This fall we get to bring the textiles back to Cambridge.

Cambridge is a really unique community. We have lots of people of all walks of life and interests and this allows some of these niche communities to come out of hiding. Knitting generally is done in private or in small groups right? People who knit are normally older - grandmotherly types don't you think? Well those stereotypes are being blown out of the water with this project.

The young and old are coming out of hiding. They are knitting at the library, in parks and in the mall. They are taking it with them to dinner out or to sporting events. I myself even was found knitting as a passenger in the car tonight. I've found out about a few male knitters who do some absolutely fabulous work.

You may recall that back in January I started to knit again after a 16 year hiatus and blogged about it here. I did touch on the Knit the Bride project but had some incorrect information that I'd like to clear up now. Sure everything can be found on the website but why not share it in more than one location?

How can you contribute?

Knitted pieces of any size will be accepted but at the moment the preference is for:
1. Pieces 21" x 27" to cover the 267 handrails on the bridge
2. Pieces 6" x 8" wide by 50"-60" long to over 303 handrail spaces
3. Pieces as long as you like that are 8", 10" or 22" wide
4. Pieces 30" wide, minimum 12" long, maximum 4 ft long to cover columns

You may use any type of yarn, pattern colour and knitting technique you wish.
Drop off the pieces at the front desk of the Cambridge Centre for the Arts on Dickson Street in Cambridge and don't forget to attach a piece of paper to the knitting with your name, address,phone number and email.

Don't think that your worthy of knitting something? Think again - they are willing to take any knitting or crocheting from all kinds of talent.

What is the deadline for submissions? In order to lay out what is needed, all the pieces need to be brought in by the end of June if possible.

When can we see the finished project? The knitting will be on the bridge from September 9th to 30th.

Wait -that's less than a month - what is going to happen at the end of the month with all that work? The knitters and volunteers are taking the pieces and turning them into scarves and blankets for local homeless shelters.

Are there any other knitting activities I can get involved in? Yes - Worldwide Knit in Public Week is June 12-20th. In Cambridge knitters and crocheters have been invited to come out front of Cambridge City Hall anytime between 8am-Noon on Saturday June 19th. It's going to be a true Yarn Party!

So what are you waiting for - grab your yarn and your needles and get cracking!

A garden full of wipples

2010-03-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

Spring is upon us and I've once again decided to put in a garden. This year - I'd like to not get annuals and instead get perennials. Last year my goal was pink and purple. it worked but I really didn't know what I was doing. Went to one of those big box stores as they had a sale on and therefore didn't get any assistance. I saw pictures on the signs and said "This looks nice."

After getting it home I really didn't know what to expect. They all bloomed at different times and didn't really blend together the best. Some things I really liked but not knowing exactly what I had, I ended up throwing out those that died. Some plants close to the house actually stayed green and stayed alive and strong so they are still out there. I believe they were purple so we'll be cool.

This year - I'm thinking white!

We have a white trellis along the house and I didn't do anything with it last year, but I'm highly interested in putting in some clematis and letting it climb. I don't want it to take over the house but it'll be so nice to see it growing up and up. Now I have to find out if it comes in white. My parents had pink at the old house and a very deep purple at the new. I'm hoping I can find white for mine :)

I had a spreading type of plant grow in too last year and it had tiny white flowers but a silvery white leaf. I had it in the wrong spot and it ended up wanting to take over our path. If only I planted it where it should've gone...

What I'd love if I had someone to actually help me. Someone said they would last year but then kind of disappeared for 6 months. Besides, I was too proud to ask for help. However this year, I think with the help of my new neighbour I'm going to have a kick ass garden. We've already started by taking out the ugly red clay stones from around our shared tree and the ugly red clay stones that lead the way to my garage. It's already improved our property values I swear!

As for the flowers, my mother says - pick what you like and you'll be happy with the results. I hope so!

Bring back the news!

2010-03-06T10:26:00.000-08:00

There has been a certain amount of discussion lately with regards to potentially starting a local online paper put together by people that are in Cambridge much along the lines of what the Cambridge Reporter was like.

If you are new to the area, or just aren't aware, the Cambridge Reporter was a daily newspaper in the city of Cambridge, Ontario that ran for 157. It's original name was the Galt Reporter as it was based in the city of Galt until an amalgamation back in 1973. That was when it changed it's name to the Cambridge Reporter. Name aside, it was set up much like your regular big city paper. It had reporters covering beats, there were editors and paginators, there was advertising sales and an entire team of people making things work. I may know a little bit more than the average bear, as I worked as a part time editor, sports reporter, photographer and reporter for the paper back in 1998.

I look back at my days at the paper fondly because it was my first job after college. I took Print Journalism at Conestoga and through that I was able to gain employment and am proud to say that I actually brought in some readers. I started out covering local businesses that won the Best of 97 awards. My business profiles brought in advertising dollars - and I provided so much content they did not just one - but three different sections. After that - they kept me on as a sports reporter part time until I was able to do my co-op. During co-op I started doing all sorts of stories, helped layout some pages, worked with the regular photographer that was getting close to retirement. Later I became the weekend reporter and filled the paper with content every Monday and Tuesday.

It was a great experience but it really wasn't me. It wasn't the way I wanted to write. I could do it - but it didn't feel comfortable to me. I'm a bit of an introverted extrovert so it was hard for me to get out there and do all they wanted me to do. I just didn't have the balls for it. I excelled at covering good news stories and just wasn't cut out for the hard news - the deaths and tragedies of the day.

I moved on in another direction, but find it so intriguing that people are thinking of bring a semblance of it back and that I might be able to be part of it. Sure TorStar stills owns the Reporter - so the name can't be used, but the idea of current content available online is very interesting.

Some of the crew currently talking about it have a bit of a slant on the news, and I hope that if this does start to fly, that we'd be able to actually have a non-political view. Sure we can have a political section and then they can all write and rant all they want. But I've always been non-judgmental when it came to such things. (And probably why I won't talk about Wal-Mart with certain people.)

It seems the main thing missing from the news coverage in Cambridge is that the Times is mostly advertising with a few stories thrown in for good measure. As a free paper, I get it. I completely understand that they wouldn't have much content and that the advertisers would be king. Someone has to pay for the printing and staff. But with the Record mentioning Cambridge rarely on the local pages - we are missing out on local news. Sure we have Snap - but that's monthly. The people of Cambridge are missing out on so much going on and it would be a great opportunity for people to get out there and cover what's happening and for all of us to find information online every day.

Now comes the tough part - who's willing to work for nothing and who's willing to put it together every day? Are we to expect people to work for free all the time? Are we looking at making money from this venture? Or is this something people really want and need and would be willing to get involved?

It'll be interesting to see if this project will fly. For our sakes, I hope it does.

Go Canada!

2010-02-14T12:40:00.000-08:00

I'm very proud to be a Canadian.

There I said it.

Then again, if you follow me on twitter you know that I've been wearing my Canadian toque for weeks in prep for the games. I'm so excited for us to be in the games but I'm almost more excited that we are hosting them!

It's sad that we are hosting in Vancouver which is known for weather changing every five minutes and not much snow. But I'm still really proud to hear when records are broken on our soil. Just yesterday the Olympic record fell in the Men's 3000m Speed Skating. Something to be so proud of even though it wasn't a Canadian.

There are those that only cheer if their team is winning. But for me it's more about the sport and being your best. My dad, brother and sister used to officiate different sports and we'd go to the games to cheer. We didn't have a home team per se, so we would cheer on the moments of the games that stood out. We'd cheer on the strong moments and the great teamwork. Through my family I've been able to see that it's so fantastic to witness great moments in sport.

Last night we earned our first medal in the games. A silver in moguls on the very first day! And by a woman from Alberta! So proud to be Canadian. So proud to be there with her when she walks on the podium even though I'm not in Whistler. But in my heart I'm there. I'm cheering on our athletes and all the best of the best in the world.

To the Olympians in the 2010 Vancouver Games - I salute you and your awesomness that got you to this level. I hope Canada is good to you!

This city I call home

2010-02-02T18:09:00.001-08:00

If there is something that I know, it's that I will not be swayed on my opinions of my fair city.

I was born into and raised in Cambridge, Ontario. Really I was born in what I deem to be Preston and raised in Galt but that's a mute point.

Back in 1973 Cambridge was forced into creation. The province wanted to save a little money and it made sense to join people who lived somewhat together into a big city. It's worked out in a lot of ways in that it gave us more power as a collaborative. We had more people in our population and were able to have more clout on the provincial stage. We were able to have a central hospital, share our police and fire services.

But it really hasn't been all roses and sunshine in Cambridge.

Cambridge has three main parts. Galt - was the county seat for North Dumfries. It was already a city in it's own right and had things pretty good as it was strongly connected to Dundas and Hamilton. Preston was a town and had it's name on the map for a few other reasons. The main reason people went to Preston had to do with the rejuvenating springs that were the home to the world renowned Preston Springs Hotel. Preston and Galt were connected by streetcar so that many of those needing the healing waters were able to find them. Hespeler, the third party in this wonderful city, was a village by the river. Fiercely loyal to their roots, Hespeler was strongly connected to Guelph.

All three were textile communities and used the rivers running through them to their advantage. All three were unique and special in their own right with interesting histories.

Joining them together might have made sense on paper, and yes it brought some good things to the area, but there ended up being a strong disconnect away from the small community feel you had to a joint hustle and bustle. We went away from the downtowns and focused so much on building up our central area that the downtowns started to suffer. You no longer saw shopping and commerce in the core areas - instead everyone was at the mall or worse yet, leaving town to go somewhere else.

The City of Cambridge has been so afraid to offend any one segment of the community, that they need to do something in each down town or not at all. For years you never heard the name of each piece of the puzzle. It was only a hushed word said here or there.

What they don't realize is that the downtowns are what make us unique. This amazing history has been lost. Our city has grown to over 125,000 people that came here for many different reasons. But what we need to understand is what it's going to take to make them stay here.

People come for cheaper land than in the big bad Toronto - but they stay for the good schools and nice neighbourhoods. They make friends here and like the shopping. They enjoy hopping on the 401 to get anywhere and being not too far from cultural events and activities.

The sad thing is - they are completely missing out on what makes Cambridge - Cambridge. The pieces make up the city and they are all unique and special and should be celebrated. I know I focus a lot on the downtowns, but it truly is indicative of the way the city is put together and the way it is looked upon by the world. When I was a kid we shopped downtown Galt on a Saturday. Made a day of it - going in and out of shops and getting everything we needed. We ate lunch there, maybe took a stroll down by the river. I'm sure kids in Preston and Hespeler would say similar stories of their youth. Instead now you go downtown and see half the stores empty or wanting to be rented out. Preston is the only exception to the rule by having a strong core. Businesses have stayed in Preston for decades and there truly is a sense of community there.

We need to get the sense of community back for each of the areas in town. We need to celebrate what we have. It's going to take a lot more than just putting up signs to indicate where the cores are. We need to promote what we have. The old buildings, the history and our uniqueness.

It's entirely possible that we can save our City but it's going to take work and passion. I wonder how loud we need to yell in order to be heard.

Knit Bomb

2010-01-30T09:06:00.000-08:00

This week I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with a friend of mine I met on Twitter named Wendy. (You can find her on twitter as @wendyhoomo) What initially interested me was that she was local and then slowly over time we've built a bit of a friendship. I find her really interesting and always come away from things she has to say with some new perspective on things.

The reason we got together this week was knitting.

I know, I know, you are thinking that knitting is only for old ladies - but I don't agree. Knitting is an art!

But what I'm coming to find is that knitting is becoming a very unique mainstream passion. People that knit are very passionate. And they aren't just knitting the basic scarves, mitts and touques. They are starting to cover any available surface with brightly coloured yarn. They are creating gorgeous masterpieces for the world to enjoy. Trees are covered, statues, light standards, street signs, bridges, boat docks, buses and even tanks.

After talking with Wendy I found out about a knitting project right here in Cambridge. In June they plan on knitting the Main Street bridge. I was shocked and really excited when Wendy said "If you keep it up, maybe you can be part of that project too." I never thought I'd ever be involved in anything like that as the Guerrilla knitting they normally talk about is usually in warmer climates where they are less likely to have the yarn deteriorate due to weather. If you want to read more about the project - go here.

Back to the point, I picked up on knitting and it felt really good. Sure my hands are a little stiff and tight but I've been told that I will get a better tension as I start to relax. Wendy has told me that I have a good eye as I've started to notice when I've made a mistake or missed a stitch. What started out as casting on and a couple rows is now pretty much a square on the way to becoming a scarf.

Me. A knitter. Who knew?

Party like it's 1983!

2010-01-26T17:46:00.000-08:00

So I'm planning a fun party for my hubby's 30th birthday.

Yes folks - my baby is turning 30!

I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but my hubby is a couple years younger than me and for my 30th he rented a hall and got me a Cookie Monster pinata to make things awesome. Now that he's turning 30, I want to throw the kind of party he'd like.

When I asked him a few months ago he mentioned Chuck E Cheese. I believe I blogged about it here...

Anyhow - After much thought and discussion, we decided that we could throw an awesome kids party right here at home - but without the kids.

I know, I know, why cut off a huge part of the population? Well My husband wants to say a big F. U. to his youth and the best way to do it would be drinking and doing really childish things. When we sat down to make a guest list for this awesome kids party without kids, he came up with about 80 names. 80!!! Wow. So much for having as many friends as the age you are! I'm sure that we won't have that many show up, but these are the people he'd love to see.

We've narrowed down the venue to our house and I plan on having decorate your own cupcakes and giving out grab bags to the first 30 guests. We have a few fun little games too - but I'd love to get some help from the outside world. Perhaps from those of you who have kids or remember how fun it was to go to parties when you were a kid.

Do you have fun party ideas???

I'd love your help!!

To my mother with love...

2010-01-24T17:02:00.000-08:00

I love my mother.

Not everyone can say that but I truly can. She makes me laugh, has a way of getting right to the point when you least want her to, is incredibly supportive and protective and loves all her children each in their own way.

My mother turned 60 today and after a year of changes and upheaval in her life it seems that things are starting to look up. This past year saw her job searching; finding a job in a field she knew nothing about but where she enjoyed the challenge; somehow her job changed and eventually she ended up getting laid off; she had a massive gallbladder attack and it caused her gallbladder to rupture; she waited months, losing tons of weight in the process and getting very ill until she finally had surgery.

Not really knowing where to go, and feeling that life was getting away from who she is and where she really wanted to be, she sat back and started to look at what she really wants to do.

My Mom loves to work with people - mainly in the service sector.

For a long time though my mother focused more on making money than being happy. But when she started to look back at her favourite employment positions - she thought of McDonald's. Now I'm not talking the McDonald's with the cafe style tables, bad service, fireplaces and wifi - I'm talking the great service with a smile McDonald's of the 80's and 90's. My Mom was the breakfast manager for 15 years at a McDonald's and loved it. The job was consistent, expectations were there and training was fully provided. She was able to smile and make people smile just by doing a good job. She got to know the staff and the customers and she loved the fast pace.

With Service in mind she started to realize that the money wasn't so important. Not really wanting to go back to management as she's now in her prime, she decided to focus on what she was good at and look for a part time position working at a Tim Horton's or a McDonald's. These are things she knows - food quality, great service and cleanliness. My Mom is an amazing billboard for Q.S.C.!

Being slightly more experienced she has been passed over for younger candidates more times than she can count. For some reason many employers were more concerned that she was going to up and retire - than the fact that they'd hire a younger worker who may go on mat leave in a few months. My mother has been recognized for her attendance record - but that doesn't really enter into many employers minds.

She handed out a couple resumes at McDonald's again and at a few Tim Horton's in Cambridge only to find that they weren't really looking at this time. Either her age and experience scared them, or they really legitimately had enough staff at this time. Feeling a little discouraged, we had a heart to heart last weekend. I think it was great that she was looking for jobs in a field she enjoyed. It would get her out of the office and back behind the counter with a smile. It'd give her a purpose and she'd see the results of her hard work every day after each customer was served quickly and with a smile.

I remember that a new friend of mine made an off-hand comment a few months ago about going to the Tim Horton's out in Aberfoyle. It's not in a big city, but it is a busy location. It's just off the 401 and he told me that they are always looking for good people. Knowing that my parents live outside of Cambridge on the Aberfoyle side, I suggested for her to apply. She was interested and thought she'd give it a try. What could it hurt right?

After driving the big whopping 12 minutes (less than it would take her to get to a most of the stores in Cambridge) she found herself dropping off her resume and having a good conversation with the manager. She was told the same "We aren't really looking for those hours at this time" (day shift before 3pm) but the manager did say "I'd hire you right now if you could work all shifts as I think you'd be great." With a final parting of the manager saying "Give me your resume and application as you never know" my mother left feeling a little better about herself. If they didn't have space, they didn't have space but getting some positive feedback went a long way for her self esteem.

On the drive home she stopped at her sisters farm and they had a tea and discussed how things went. She had no idea, but she sparked something just by going there and taking my advice. By the time she got in her driveway they had already called and arranged an interview for her with my uncle who just happened to answer the phone. It seems something may have opened up after all.

She went in for the interview and by the end they hired her. She starts in two weeks and was absolutely glowing as she told us about it today at her birthday party. She talked of uniforms and her new non-slip shoes and you could see her just bubbling.

I love that she's finally followed the advice she's given all us kids for years and years - Do what you like to do. She deserves this challenge and will excel because that's who she is! She is a wonderful service machine and they will see this.

So Mom - on your 60th birthday I have to say how proud I am of you!

The Opposite of Love

2010-01-21T17:46:00.000-08:00

I just read a book that made me laugh. It made me cry. It made my heart rip out of my chest. It showed me hope and it showed me how to survive. It showed me that it's okay to screw up - and that you can live through it all.

I love reading first time authors. Their thoughts are so original and unique and unexpected sometimes. I find that I like to stick through it because you can feel the passion that they have for their work. They write because they want to - not because an editor is screaming down their neck waiting for the next top seller. New young authors use phrases that aren't in every other book either. This book actually had the word "clusterfuck" a word that is completely understood by generation. It's not something you hear someone my parents age say let alone understand.

The book I just finished reading The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum. You can see her official website by going here.

What I really liked most about the book was that it was so relate able. I felt that I could be the lead character. She was flawed in ways that I am flawed and has made decisions that may not seem like the right ones but are the right decisions for her. I went into a career out of school that wasn't right for me and made the decision to move on and haven't really looked back.

I also kind of liked that the book came to an end, but it wasn't all perfect and fabulous like some books. You read it, and you know that life will go on and she'll muddle through, still making mistakes and you are okay with that.

I honestly feel like I just looked in on someone's life and made a friend.

The Opposite of Love.

I recommend it with two thumbs up and a pumpkin pie.

Oh baby!

2010-01-17T17:31:00.000-08:00

Last year and this seem to be the year of the baby as many of my friends both near and far have either gotten pregnant or had babies or both. I find myself incredibly happy for them and ecstatic that they are growing their little families.

When my husband and I got married we started to get mild pressure from our families about having kids. This was to be expected and we always answered the same - that we just weren't there yet. Here we are 2 1/2 years later and we still aren't quite there yet but I keep wondering how I'd feel if we were.

Those that are having/have had babies this past year have joined in with our families to put the pressure on. It's kind of like the "Come on now, everybody is doing it" mentality. If they could do it, so could we. As they mention all the time "You are great with kids, when are you having your own?"

I love kids - really I do - but the pressure is getting almost to the point where it's really annoying and I just might snap at people. If we aren't even trying yet and the pressure is getting to me - how bad will it be when we are trying and it's not happening?

I've heard many stories about couples finally start trying and waiting years until they either gave up or finally had something happen. My very own sisters didn't have it happen right away and I know how painful it was for them to see their friends get it on the first try. I know they had fun trying, but it still was a little heartbreaking when month after month they weren't pregnant.

After hearing a friend blow up on facebook of all places to let everyone know that "NO - I AM NOT PREGNANT STOP ASKING" I've decided that it's time I stop acting like everyone else. I'm not going to ask or bother anyone anymore. You never know if you are going to strike a nerve with someone.

I'm sure we'll be ready within the next couple years, and I hope that people will leave us alone when we start trying. For now - we'll just sit back, and bask in the joy of holding babies and passing them back when they poop or puke.

New

2010-01-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

New year

New times

New adventures

New passions

New excitement

New moments

New news

New travels

New dreams

New me

January 1, 2010

Reviewing the 2000's

2009-12-31T15:05:00.000-08:00

Another year is ending and more importantly another decade. 10 years ago was very different than where I am today.

10 years ago I was very disappointed in myself. I was highlighting my hair more and more and it was almost blonde. I was stuck in my job and wasn't going anywhere. I was in a dead end relationship where I wasn't happy, wasn't appreciated and was generally an after thought. I lived my life for other people.

I made the decision to try and change everything by going to Niagara Falls for a weekend getaway with my parents, my sister and her husband and my boyfriend. We stayed in a hotel near the falls and most importantly - near the park where there would be an outside concert. The very expensive package deal we booked included dinner on top of the Skylon Tower - a rotating restaurant that looked out high over the falls. It was great to be there with my family and ring in the year with great music but I started to see that I wasn't happy with other things in my life. I wasn't moving forward.

By the end of 2000 I was single, going out again and having fun and had resigned myself to change my stars. I took a course in writing to help find my muse again and things were looking up.

2001 I went to Mexico on vacation - awarded the Top Performing Studio Manager for Southern Ontario and moved to Alberta to work at a popular hotel. It was a huge year - a momentus success compared to where I had been the year before. I learned to breathe again and how to be myself. I laughed heartedly, somewhat learned to two-step. I made friends to last a lifetime and I had grown and spread my wings and proved that I could handle anything - including living on my own.

2002 I was back at home and happy with who I was. I worked hard to build the portrait studio again and led my team to the highest sales in Canada. I was confident in my skills and ready to rock and roll. It was a building year for me.

2003 was pretty huge for me personally and professionally. My parents moved from my childhood home and got a house with a basement apartment for me to live. We also went on a trip back out to Alberta to see family and I could show them my old

stomping grounds. I was promoted through my work to work as a

district trainer and subsequently district manager. At the company's Photography and Sales Meeting held in Montreal I was awarded the Top Performing Studio Manager in Canada. I worked hard and was completely rewarded for my success. Throughout all this whirlwind someone new came into my life. He was kind and funny and really paid attention to me. He could make me laugh and we had a very quick courtship. Within a month I was head over heals and we were pretty inseparable. In 2003 I discovered how much I really loved to host parties - hosted a Halloween and a New Years Party that year and both were really fun. I made new friends that year that I still have today.

2004 was all about work work work! Being a district manager was really challenging - even if it was only for a maternity leave. A lot of hours, a lot of travel and a pager constantly attached to my hip. James stuck by me through it all - even when I had a gallbladder attack and suffered for months until surgery could be arranged. He even drove me to the hospital and sat worried in the waiting room until I came out and even then he sat beside my bed until some colour came back to my face. When the mat leave contract was over I was given a position I could only dream of - something tailor made for me. I was going to be the Regional Training Manager and would work across 4 different districts helping out staff. It was travel but it was a lot of fun and I really felt that I had made a real strong go at it. I was proud of all I had accomplished that year.

In 2005 at a freinds wedding an opportunity came up that I never dreamed. While sitting with virtual strangers I got to talking with one of the guests. She was a career counsellor and said there was an opening. She thought I'd be great for it - and so I applied. The year contract was with a travelling career centre in the Hamilton area. I had a lot of fun putting together resumes and helping people with job searching. James took this opportunity to ask me to move in with him and together we moved into an apartment in Paris along the Grand River. The apartment was nice with two bedrooms and space for us to spread our legs. We knew it was only temporary but we tried to

put our stamp on it. I also bought a new car - Ford Focus in Sonic Blue. I love that car and still smile thinking of it.

2006 my contract ended and I moved on. I got a job back in Customer Service with a library supply company. Pretty much was doing inside sales and things as first the team leader and then the National Customer Service Manager. I was working more hours than I did as a district manager and it was more stress than I ever could imagine. the department wasn't very organized when I started and I couldn't wrap my head around the amount of work. I felt myself drowning more times than not and still I stuck it out for another year. By the end of this year James and I had grown much closer and I was shocked and very happy when on December 21st he got on his knee in a very cold Simcoe park to propose. I said yes and we spent the holidays sharing our happiness with our families and friends.

2007 On top of planning a wedding, I kept plugging away in the library business. The customers were great and most of the people I worked with were as well but I was still drowning. It really wasn't the job for me but I kept working and hoping things would get better. James ended up getting a job in Guelph so we left our Paris apartment and moved to an awesome house in Cambridge.

We were renting with an older woman who had the main floor and the basement. We had the second floor including an awesome balcony and a really neat attic. The house had no storage but hardwood floors throughout. We loved that house but things changed when James lost his job in Guelph and was out of work for a few months. He did find another job in Guelph but when I found out that my position was being dissolved we had to take the opportunity to move. Throughout all this chaos we planned and celebrated with our family and friends when we were married on September 29th. I was so happy to be there with all those closest to us - those that really loved us. They enjoyed our candy table and our outdoor tent wedding and I was so happy to finally be Mrs. Harris. After the wedding and we moved back in with my parents in the apartment downstairs - I found a new job in the completely different field of purchasing. I'd been on the other side of the coin so much that why not give it a shot?

2008 was a building year again. I was covering another maternity leave and wasn't sure if I'd get hired on at the end of the year contract. Over time I started to realize that I really liked my job and had learned a lot from the library company. Turns out I could be incredibly organized if I started off that way. Who knew? I built on my skills and learned as much as I could. Took on added responsibilities that even the woman on her mat leave wasn't doing. I loved it and loved the company and really wanted to stick around. I was elated

when I found out she wasn't coming back and that the job was mine - with a little more money thrown in for fun. With the help of some friends, I was able to organize and throw off the best party of my life - outside my wedding of course. The Beer Olympics were a huge success for all that attended and I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. In the middle of the summer we realized that we wanted to get a place of our own and started going to open houses and talking to agents. We started saving like mad and were able to put an offer on a house by December. Our offer finally got accepted and we were so excited to hear that we would soon be homeowners.

In 2009 a lot of dreams came true. My lovely husband and I moved into a gorgeous townhouse

in Cambridge. We were in the heart of the city and able to get everywhere quickly. No longer did we need to plan everything out before heading into town to go shopping. Our dream of a dog came shortly after our move and The Dude entered our little family. He's rough around the edges but we still love him and his crazy short legs. James lost his job in Guelph at the start of the summer but used that as an opportunity to branch out on his own and make his business a success. I'm so proud of all he's achieved by going out and making connections and going to different types of meet ups to build his client base. I've continued working hard this year and by the end I had one of the most glowing performance evaluations I've ever had. It feels so good to be recognized.

All in all this past decade has brought many changes and many great things. Looking out over the time I know that I'm exactly where I want to be right now. It will be very interesting to look at 2020 and all the things that might have happened. I'm going into this next decade with some goals but also with an open mind.

With that, I am sending all the best to my readers and my friends for a safe and prosperous New Year and New Decade!

Ending Another Decade

2009-12-27T19:35:00.000-08:00

A friend mentioned that she hasn't seen any of those best of the decade things going around. It's true that no one is really celebrating the end of the past 10 years. I think there are many great reasons for that - with the main one being that the past 10 years have been some of the saddest and most devastating for people in North America.

When planes flew into the twin towers in New York I think everyone had a moment of their mortality. Everyone felt different things. My heart went to two things. #1 - I was so glad my best friend wasn't living in New York anymore and had moved back to Ontario the previous fall. #2 - my high school sweetheart was going to war. There really wasn't anything that could be done about it. We were attacked on what is essentially our soil - and we couldn't sit by and not try and get retribution for it. Over the next 9 years these things got all muddled and there never has been a clear conclusion. They got Saddam but really - who was he in the whole attack on U.S. Soil?

I think everyone was affected by that day. In many ways it has shaped us into who we are now. Nearly everyone felt something about what happened. People have been sad, they've been angry, they've been scared - they've been all three. But it was very hard to not feel something.

We went to war in Afghanastan and Iraq.

We've seen the worst hurricanes and tsunami's in our recent memory.

Our heroes have died - our favourites have fallen to illness, drugs or death - sometimes all three.

We rode high for awhile only to have our housing market and our banking systems fall out from under us.

It hasn't been all horrible. But there isn't much to look back on and make a best of list in a broad sense. All the best things to happen to me have been intensely personal. Some were brief moments and some took years to develop. I'm sure we can all agree - the best things that happened in the past 10 years involve personal choices and decisions.

Here's hoping the next 10 years give us some fabulous things to look back on - things we can be proud of. Let's start with Vancouver 2010 Olympics and keep the ball rolling. Start on an upswing and keep on going.

The important thinks.

2009-12-21T15:15:00.000-08:00

This time of year really reminds me how important it is to have good friends and loving family around you. Yesterday I turned 31 and in four days it's Jesus' birthday. This is a big time for people to be busy and doing things and yet I had a house full of people yesterday who took time out of their busy schedule to come and spend some time with me. Everyone got me something different and really showed that they really cared about me. It meant so much. Even those that really couldn't make it took the time out to call me and make sure that I knew they were thinking of me.

This year, more than any other I wanted to make sure that I was prepared to handle the stress of the Christmas season. And I think that made it so much better for me to have everyone into my home.

Thanks go out to all my friends and family for making sure I had a wonderful birthday! I love you all!

Pet Peeves

2009-11-25T16:26:00.000-08:00

I have a pet peeve that I'm sure you can appreciate.

Take out food service companies that have a tip option at the cash register on their debit/credit machine

First off - I just walked into your establishment, looked at a menu, walked to the counter and told you my order. Why do you deserve a tip for a) not helping me pick out my order and b) only writing it down or keying it in for someone else to prepare?

Secondly - I haven't even tried the food. Why should I tip? It could be nasty and the most disgusting thing I've ever had. What if I get food poisoning from you?

I've paid good money for my food that I have in my hand. I drove my own ass there and picked out my order from your lovely signs or menus. What type of wonderful service did you give me that made you deserve the tip?

Another pet peeve I have is also food related.

Companies that automatically put the tip on the bill before it's even given to you.

Sure you've brought me food, made sure I had drinks and that everything was okay. But don't you think I should have the right to decide how much of a tip I should give you? What if your service was crappy?

I know the only reason they do this is for those gullible people that don't actually read their bill and just pay and add a tip. I almost got caught on this a few times and am really glad that I did a double check and stopped myself. Makes you wonder how many companies get away with that crap!

It's a different story if you walk in and they say "A 15% gratuity will be added to your bill" but if you don't know this going in - you might be in for a surprise.

Here's a word to the wise - pay extra attention next time you are making a payment somewhere - you might be paying more than you should.

And thar she blows - the neighbours are moving

2009-11-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

Our next door neighbours are moving out. They pulled up a moving truck this morning and have been filling it up. I can't even begin to tell you how weird it feels.

These neighbours have been really nice in cutting the grass at the front. The dad or granddad is retired and really likes doing stuff. He doesn't know what he's doing but he tries and has a good heart. And by not knowing what he's doing - I am talking about the time he went to use a product on the lawn to get rid of the dandelions only to burn the lawn in about 20 places due to the chemicals he used.

They are always around out on the front porch watching the world go by so you know that they will tell you if someone stopped by when you aren't home, and if your dog got away and you never noticed. It's been a blessing, and at times a bit of a curse.

Must say it's a little challenging when you have someone there all the time. You have to watch your tongue, and be prepared to brush them off or get drawn into a long conversation about anything or anything. The parents that own the house are really nice. Always have a pleasant word for us, even if it is a few words more than we'd like to have. Their adult daughter is a bit more reclusive. She kind of just looks at you but doesn't really try and engage you. Her husband is nice though and their kids are pretty cute. Their 2 year old always wants to say Hi and really likes when you talk back to him. Poor kids had issues with allergies the entire time we've been neighbours. Wonder if he's allergic to smoking?

That's the main issue with these neighbours. They are really nice and they haven't been that bad at all, but the smoking constantly of four adults on the front porch make it virtually impossible to be able to truly enjoy your own front porch. Just once I'd love for them to mix it up and use the back yard.

Too late now. As of tomorrow morning the truck will be completely full and they'll be off to Milton.

The strangest thing though - they haven't put the house up for sale yet. They want to move out before so that it can look it's best and be ready all the time. I guess they don't want to advertise how crowded it can be with 5 adults and two children under 2 living there.

We have the same townhouse as them only the opposite layout. We've never been inside their place, and they've never been inside ours. One good thing about them moving out is that we might be able to go through an open house to see what it looks like. They have the same layout as us but with all the bathrooms installed. We might get an idea if it'd be worth it to do it to our house.

Another good thing is that we will get new neighbours. I wonder what they'll be like. Will they be a young couple like us? A family? Will they like dogs? Cats? Are they going to be throwing parties all the time? Will they be nice or reclusive?

I'll miss the whole brood from next door but it'll be nice to shake things up in our neighbourhood!

Mmmm.... I love cookies!

2009-11-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

Last year some friends and I started a tradition that I hope continues - a cookie exchange for the holidays. Everyone knows that the holidays are a time for people to get together, pop in unannounced and eat whatever you want. WE ALL KNOW THAT CALORIES DON'T COUNT IN DECEMBER.

Last year I chose to make my families age old traditional cookie - which really isn't a Christmas cookie per se, but we always made them around the holiday time. My mother would end up making at least two runs of them, as my brother has a tendency to eat as many as humanly possible as soon as his eyes see them or his nose smells them.

Today I've decided to share with you, my blog readers, this delicious recipe so that you may try and enjoy some of my families tastiest goodness. Warning - if you don't like the taste of coconut or chocolate, you may want to avoid this one.

CHOCOLATE DROP COOKIES

Ingredients:
In a pot combine:
6 tbsp. Cocoa
½ Cup milk
½ cup Margarine
2 cups Sugar

Bring to a boil
Directions:
Add ingredients from the pot above to the ingredients listed below: (I mixed these ingredients first in a mixing bowl and mixed in the ingredients on top - but you can do whatever floats your boat)

1 tsp vanilladash salt
1 cup coconut
3 cups rolled oats

Drop by spoonful on an ungreased cookie sheet, however waxed paper also does the trick. Place in fridge to set.

It's the thought that counts

2009-11-07T09:49:00.000-08:00

I realized something today about Christmas and why I'm going to really enjoy it this year.

In the past I've always looked at gifts in terms of money. I think I got it from my mother. Having 7 neices and nephews I've always tried to spend an equal amount on them. If I spent $40 on one, I'd spend $40 on the next. Even if what I got them was on sale, I still wanted to make sure that none of them felt they got the shaft.

This year we started shopping early and I didn't really hang onto receipts. It made it really easy to forget all about the money on each person. With having to entertain for various functions I've had to hide things away for fear someone would stumble upon the gifts. When I brought out and sorted everything I actually found that I had a really good grouping going. I was actually all done shopping for four people on my list!

Astounded, I quickly realized who else I had to buy for. The nieces and nephews, one thing for my mother and father and then my husband. I felt like I was already half way there!

It felt so good to be able to reach a point where I was on solid ground. This year's been tough, money's been tight and I really didn't want to have anyone feel they got the shaft. But looking across the bed at the piles of presents I knew that no one was going to be left out. Everyone would get some great gifts. Our months of careful shopping and planning will make for a great Christmas!

They say it's the thought that counts and this year I completely understand it!

I used to spoil the kids - but with things being tight I wasn't sure where to start. My nephew solved it for me. The older kids wanted gift certificates, but the younger three I wasn't so sure until my sister started talking about how the kids had gotten gift certificates for their birthday. They had a blast walking around with their own money spending it on what they wanted. That was when her son spoke up and in his beautiful 8 year old mind said "I want a gift certificate because I want to pick out my own game." And that was it - settled. All the kids get gift certificates - the girls the mall and the boys EB games. So easy!

In one night, in less than a half hour I had walked the mall and had got 7 more off my list!

This just proves that the shopping can get done! You can do it!!!! Stay strong, remember the season is the thought that counts and it'll be an awesome holiday filled with love and smiles!

Knockdown 90s

2009-10-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

Tommorrow night is our annual Halloween party. We opted to party on Devil's night through a long process of careful thought and debate.

What wasn't hard to debate was the desire to have a 90's dance party.

Being a teenager in the 90s was interesting. Music ranged from bouncing and poppy to grungy and dirty. We were the Cabbage Patch generation - we wanted what we wanted when we wanted it. We were the generation that would walk out of a dance if the song wasn't of the right genre.

We thought we could make a difference or we just wanted to float away. We had varied tastes and tried to always be slightly different. Our music was much like this. We borrowed from the old to create something new and the artists of our day got in some legal hot water for it.

Our music went with the times and we went with it. The internet became mainstream with us at it's helm. We wanted a cause and championed where we could. We swayed quickly to join the crowd and many of us became "posers" even though everyone had to start somewhere. We wanted to fit in and we wanted to stand out. We were probably the most confused generation of people in a long time.

On Friday night we'll be transported back to this crazy time of change and music. The groove will definitely be in our hearts and our feet will be getting jiggy with it.

Bear Claw Cravings

2009-10-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

I am completely craving a Bear Claw today.

I woke up this morning and wasn't very hungry. Had a beer too many last night I think and it made me kind of silly, loud and probably a bit obnoxious. Waking this morning wasn't that hard though which proves that maybe I can still handle my alcohol. Only had 3 beers though so maybe not.

The laptop sits beside the bed and I've gotten in the bad habit of turning it on when I just get up to see what's going on in the world. I do this and after seeing an ad on the side of the page with a picture of a kid on the side eating a chocolate dipped donut, I felt that I needed to have one too.

But not just any donut.

Oh no - a Bear Claw.

When I lived in Jasper it was a very special treat to get up early and walk to the bakery to examine their wares. The smell was fantastic and it made me drool so much. When I discovered the Bear Claw I was in heaven. Just biting into it's soft flaky crust through the delicious chocolatey centre... I'm drooling in the memory.

Sadly - I live in Ontario.

Where oh where can someone from Ontario get a delicious Bear Claw???

Life without Cable - Month 8

2009-10-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you might remember how utterly worried I was to say goodbye to cable television. When me and James were looking at buying our first house we were really tightening our budget. We were renting an apartment with my parents and they paid for full satellite. We were completely spoiled with over 500 channels to chose from. We both loved the specialty channels and barely watched any of the traditional ones. If we were going to get cable we wouldn't be happy with the basics. We'd have to get the extra packages and this could add up to over $100.

We took a risk - a huge one.

We waved good bye to cable and said "Let's just watch movies, read books and see whatever we want online."

James had grand dreams of building an television PC where he could connect it to our tv and we could not only use the internet, play games and watch shows online. Scary enough - he made that dream come true. It's really fun getting on and being able to go to ninjavideo and turn on anything you can almost think of. Plus it's allowed me to have my ultimate dream of playing silly facebook games on a big screen.

Our biggest problem was our original internet provider was through the phone line. We are really far from the junction so we couldn't get the full amount of connectivity that we had. As we actually have internet telephone as well with VOIP it made it really hard to talk to people when it would cut out all the time. James being a designer he really needs the internet to be consistent. A month or two of complaining and he decided to change back to Rogers. (We used them when we were renting and had no connectivity issues.)

Through having cable internet things have been alot more consistent. And there was an added bonus - cable internet meant that some channels came in. We did get Global and CTV before that (thank you basics!) But with the new cable internet we got even more channels. Made me super happy!!! Now we get: TVO, Global, both Omni channels, CBC, WKNY Buffalo, CTV, SunTV, Aboriginal Peoples Television and a smattering of French and political channels. With these channels we've been able to catch all the best shows and still have time to go and do things.

We're saving $60 - $80 a month just by not having cable. And it's fabulous being able to watch what we want when we want, and still catch some of the hot shows so that I have something to talk about around the water cooler.

For those thinking of getting rid of the cable box and moving on in your life - I'd HIGHLY recommend it.

Animal Rant

2009-10-21T04:55:00.000-07:00

How timely that I'd get sick right around the time that a local turkey farm has found H1N1 in their birds. It's not that I spend a tremendous amount of time with turkeys or anything like that and I don't think I even have H1N1. I just feel sick. That. Is. All. You. Need. To. Know.

With animals getting sick it makes me a little sad. I love animals but I know that, like humans, many animals will get illnesses and recover. Some animals have allergies, as do we. They just normally don't know how to say what's wrong and don't often have the ability to heal things themselves.

This brings me to another issue. There are so many animals that are out there that are left sitting alone and scared in shelters and even more that never even make it to the shelter floor. They are just dumped on the side of the road and left to fend for themselves. Twice in the past month I've seen kittens in places where they aren't anywhere near a house. It's obvious that they have been taken to the country and dropped on the side of the road. Cats have been domesticated for a really long time. Some are lucky and get taken in or find shelter when they need it but many just won't fare so luckily.

It's so easy to bring an animal to the shelter. If you can't handle it, admit it, and they will be more than happy to help you place your animal. For each unwanted animal, there are people out there who might be willing to help them and keep them alive. There are rescue organizations and shelters all across this great land we call Canada. There should be no reason why animals aren't taken care of.

The only thing holding animals back from being looked after is a sheer numbers game. The average human birth is one child at a time, animals have multiples (for the most part.) This was evolutions way of protecting their chain. If you lose one or two in the birthing process or in early life there will be several more there to keep the line going. But humans get "fixed" so to speak, and it's so simple to have your animal spayed or neutered as well. Why don't people do this more often?

When we took The Dude to the vet after first getting him, they told us how many animals in the US aren't spayed or neutered because they really love the look of puppies. Looking at all the different puppy mills around you can also tell that puppies can be a money making machine. They are selling puppies for a minimum of $300 a pop - whether or not they've even seen a vet or had their first shots. People are breeding dogs and cats thinking they'll make money off them and in some cases they are. They didn't have to do any extra work other than feeding and cleaning the animals - and here they are making more than people make in a month by a simple litter. And they'll continue to do it while people continue to pay exhorbanent prices to get a designer dog.

Speaking of designer dogs - why are people stuck in their heads that any poodle cross will be non-shedding and hypoallergenic? Genes come from the mother and father and therefore can go either way. I met a labradoodle that not only made people sneeze when around him but shed like a banshee. But he had poodle in him - why did this happen? Think about it people. When you make a baby you are getting parts of the mother and father. Same thing happens when you have a dog. You cannot predict the same outcome every time unless you are breeding a single breed with a single breed. Thus the purebred.

Some people though take the purebred to be even more than it is. They don't mix the genes enough and some of the recessive genes come to the surface more frequently including defects and undesirable traits. Not all dog breeders know really what they are doing and are in it for the money. That's why it's so important to get a purebred dog that is registered and has papers so that you can see the geneology. Do your homework people!

Homework is another issue when getting a pet in that they may not have done any research on it. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people getting a pet and having to give it up because their kids have allergies, or they suddenly discover that they have allergies. If you are thinking of getting a pet, spend some time around someone who has a similar pet before making a lifetime commitment to an animal. Find out if little Timmy is allergic before you invest in bringing another family member into the mix. I've seen pet allergies first hand and they can range from a runny nose to hives and ultimately having a swollen and blocked airway. If you aren't experiencing these symptoms and decide to give up your pet - you are probably best to just admit that you are in over your head. This happens all the time and it's better you admit it and give the next "parents" of these pets a fighting chance at knowing the full background of the animal you are giving up.

Animals deserve love and there are so many out there that could use your help. Visit your local SPCA for more details.

Christmas Chaos

2009-10-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

Okay okay so it's not even Halloween and you are wondering why I'd even be thinking about Christmas. You're probably wondering if I'm a crazy Christmas nut. Bet you have visions of me wandering around wearing red and green, singing carol after carol and spreading annoying holiday cheer. You'd be partially right.

I have a dirty little secret. One that I wish I didn't have, but am slowly starting to admit.

The crowds and chaos that come with Christmas shopping give me panic attacks. It's not even really isolated to Christmas but any time I'm in a slightly confined area with huge groups of people I start to feel my heart race, I get dizzy and panic. I have a hard time breathing and I have to do all in my power to get out of there. Many purchases have been left by the wayside because I just couldn't handle it. Even leaving the movie theatre or at concerts I start to feel my chest tighten and the only thing that saves me is keeping my hand attached to my husband the whole time as he leads the way.

With holiday shopping there's always the pressure of the perfect gift - add that with my little panic attacks and you start to understand why I have to start shopping early. Usually this means picking up a few little things in August and continuing on until the start of December, but I have been known to leave it longer and then kick myself later. That gift you see on sale in September just may never be found come December and sometimes I've ended up getting really unique gifts that are treasured because I took my time and thought early rather than running out for the last minute gift card.

I haven't always had panic attacks but I've never been a huge fan of malls. I like to get in and get out and that's why I think I've enjoyed the familiarity of big box stores. I know where to expect to find things and can run in, grab everything I need and be out in a short period of time.

When I was little I spent a lot of time attached to my mother's legs. I was incredibly shy with new people. Once they got to know me though I was a bit of a chatterbug. Creative and playful. I thrived in small groups and liked being involved with people. Myers Briggs calls me an introvert - but many of my friends wouldn't believe it. I'm a feeler too so that brings out my ability to care about people and ask questions. I'm the youngest of four children and in our family you had to speak loudly to be heard. Oddly, I'm the quietest of all of us even though my voice can be booming and I have been known to be the centre of attention from time to time.

When shopping however, I really don't like the crowd. I don't like the jostling and the competing. I hate feeling like I'm out of control. For some reason when people are bumping into me all around, going in different directions, perfumes and scents overwelming my senses - I lose all of my wits.

Thankfully I save some vacation days for this time of year so that I can go and shop in peace when everyone else is at work. Goal is by December first I'm done and then I can sit back and enjoy all the holiday season without stress. Here's dreaming of a peaceful and calm holiday season.

A Tweet Up for a Twitterer

2009-10-18T05:47:00.000-07:00

I am going to do something that I never thought I'd do.

I'm going to a "Tweet Up".

I know it sounds mysterious and completely insane. What the heck is a "Tweet Up" anyhow???

Well folks, let me enlighten you.

There's this crazy thing on the interweb called "Twitter." Twitter is a website that allows people to say pretty much anything they want within 140 characters or less. It's pretty much sweeped the Western World and has brought people together.

The way it works is simple. You sign up for an account, maybe follow a tutorial and then you go and start writing updates. Twitter allows you to search for things you like to do so you can do this and maybe find other people who have similar interest to follow. Maybe you are looking for people in your area, that can be done as well. Do you like celebrities? They are on there too and you can follow them. There really aren't too many things holding you back from following anyone. (Unless maybe you have a restraining order, and I'm sure that there might be some sort of lax law on that too.)

The more you write, you might get people interested in following you. People are naturally voyeuristic and love to hear about other people. If you have something of interest to say, you might find that you get more people following you than you have time to follow. As finding the time to follow all the people you have can get very time consuming. Before you know it, you might be thinning out the herd and have narrowed things down to a manageable number. (My husband has a rule of thirds in this regard - but I honestly think that it's up to the individual.)

The celebrities on twitter go from gossip columnists, to actors, to politicians, to musicians and authors. Most of which only like following other celebrities, but in the case of some such as Arnold Schwarzzenegger they have an auto follow system that immediately makes them follow you. Strangely though - I never followed Arnold but mentioned him in a tweet and he started following me. I feel oddly blessed to have the terminator reading my posts so I don't have the heart to block him. Arnold and his team actually post too. Mostly it's about where they are going and what they are doing, but you get to see photos of the Kindergarten Cop shaking hands with people all the time. I still don't follow him though as this isn't the type of person I want to follow.

As with the writing on my blog, I like to follow real people. Those that I can relate to and those that interest me. Sure I do follow a couple celebrities, but each of the four that I follow have something of interest to say - and Matthew Good actually follows me back so to me that's telling me that I do something right.

I've found that by using sites such as Twellowhood I've been able to find other bloggers in my area and now I regularly have conversations through twitter about anything and everything. Word to the wise - use your real city in your profile. This allows you to be searched and saved under your local site and you might find people that are really interesting and can talk about local events, politics, weather or even a crazy round about or two. {To have a conversation with someone put the @ symbol before their twitter name and continue typing - this conversation can now only be viewed by the two of you and others that follow both of you - unless someone just goes to your specific wall and then they can see everything. If you'd prefer to only show the oner person - you can use the Direct Message option on the sidebar.}

You can add photos by using websites such as Twitpic or Tweetphoto. Simply sign up - register under your user name and password and you are good to go. You can set photos up on your phone by messaging with a code and it's all easy peasy. This way if you see an interesting photo you can actually share it with the world - or if you want to show off your new hair cut - go ahead. Most photos that are posted are just of interest to a select few, but isn't that the way of the internet? It's a huge web and you aren't going to like everything - but sometimes isn't it great to see that awesome shot of a mullet or a guy wearing short shorts and suspenders shopping at Wal-Mart?

Twitter has often been compared to another social media website - Facebook. But there are some key differences. Sure Facebook allows you to post updates, but these are generally only viewable by your friends and people that you already know. You are stuck in this tiny bubble. It's not easy to communicate with people you don't know very well. Plus on facebook everyone that is your friend already knows more about you than you might care to share. For instance - how many people have family members as their friends on facebook? Pretty much everyone on there has someone. It's great to share your those photos of little timmy's first day of schoool, but that doesn't mean that you can have complete freedom to say whatever you want. (Although we'd like to see you try :) )

Sometimes you need a vice like twitter where you can just cut loose and say or be whoever you want to be. You can swear if you want to - you can truly speak out and voice your opinion. Occasionally you can get drunk and tweet nonsense. Your twitter family can choose to pay attention or ignore you. It's a truly beautiful process.

This brings me to another point - to follow or not to follow. Your initial instinct is to follow anyone that follows you. But then you realize that the majority of Twitterers are actually robots designed to follow a) new people or b) people that mention anything that meets a certain search criteria. (If you mention porn even once, watch out as it's an instant boost to your followers and not all of them have the best intentions.) You can do one of two things - let them follow you and say "Who cares they aren't harming anyone" or you can block them so that they can't follow you. Twitter staff does eventually get around to booting all the best known "bots" from the site so you will occassionally see the number of people you follow go down. Sometimes you'll get people following you that you initially think are fine. But maybe over time you realize "This person isn't really what I thought they were" or "Boring - they haven't written in four months why do I still follow them?" It's at times like these that you can just go to their profile and click "unfollow." Poof like that they are gone from your wall and you don't have to worry about them again.

In the age of cell phones and camera phones, why not have a portal that goes anywhere and can be with you at any time. Want to Tweet from the can - go ahead. Who's going to stop you? Want to repeat stuff that you overheard - that's fine too. And trust me, some of the things that people overhear is hilarious - especially when taken out of context. I think it's great being able to share funny anecdotes of things you see or hear when you are out and about or when the mood strikes. (Such as last weekend when my loving husband saw some guy at Bulk Barn picking out only the red Blowpops from an entire tub of mixed coloured ones.) {To say something you have overheard - type OH: before whatever it is you need to repeat.}

As with any social media site, I was initially leery about opening up. I wasn't sure how much was acceptable for opening up and just starting conversations with people. But the more you are on the site, the more you realize that it's okay to ask people questions. And it's okay to "retweet" something that has been said as long as you credit the original poster. In fact, it's actually something to be proud of. If you say something that someone else feels worthy of repeating that should actually make you feel good. If they out and out rip it off from you then it's perfectly fine to get a little upset. As said, anything goes but I warn you - you may not have as many friends as you did before. {To "retweet" someone - simply put RT before their name including the @ symbol}

My husband signed up for Twitter before me and he was pretty much instantly hooked. He was doing things that I didn't understand and almost played twitter like a game. He was always on the look out for quality followers and people that were in his field of work. Through twitter he's even been able to find work by connecting with people in the same field as him. He's been kept informed about local meetings for people in his field and it's really allowed him to branch out and find work now that he's running his own business. He's a web designer so Twitter has been the perfect portal for him and the Social Media MeetUps have been great for people in his field. He's attended them in Waterloo and Guelph and has made a habit of going to these once a month meetings.

Back in the beginning of when Twitter first started taking off, some people decided that they really enjoyed talking to each other online and they wanted to see about meeting in real life. So they arranged the first "Tweet Up". I'm not sure who started it or where and frankly, it doesn't really matter. James has been going to the tweet ups for Waterloo Region but was slowly starting to see that they were filling up really quickly and he wasn't able to talk to everyone that was there. You might miss out on getting to know someone in such a large crowd. I told him that maybe there will come a time when they'll need to split up and do meet ups for Waterloo, Kitchener, Cambridge and Guelph instead of being all together. It seems that time is now.

A few weeks ago some of the people I follow on twitter were discussing a "Tweet Up" in the region. They felt a little slighted that all the tweet ups have been in Waterloo and really wanted people to come to Cambridge. Someone said "#galttweetup" and the whole idea was born. I said that I'd attend a Tweet Up in Galt as that's where I grew up and spent a large amount of my life. That was all they needed to say "Okay fine let's make it happen." Someone talked with the owner of a local restaurant, they booked a date and time and then it spread throughout our little community. Not a huge amount have confirmed that they are coming, but it's still great to see that when we want something to happen, we can make it happen. {The hash tag # has been used as a way to reference something - this can be a specific event, or a common theme. It makes things easily searchable and recognizable.}

And so I'm heading out to meet my internet friends. Sure I'm nervous about how I'll look and if they'll judge me. But I also think it might make my friendships deeper to put a real face to a name. Then when I talk about me wearing a red beret and eating a croissant they can get the picture of me. And when they talk about running a marathon I can see them doing it.

I am a Twitterer who uses Twitter to Tweet about things who is now going to a Tweet Up to find other people from the Twitterverse.

Oh Halloween....

2009-10-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that the Halloween season is here yet again. I'm excited about this year in that it'll be our first year in our new house having our annual shindig. We've had big parties, small parties and quiet and zany. It's been all over the map. Not sure how this year is going to go.

After moving to Cambridge we've kind of lost touch with many of our old friends. We still love them but we really don't get to talk as much anymore. Many of them are planning on coming to our party and I think that's awesome!!! They always really think hard about their costumes as they never want to duplicate anything. Some even come in a huge group that all work around a central theme. It's pretty crazy but they seem to pull it off.

This year we have some new friends coming. They all have a great energy and are really agonizing over what to be. I can't wait to see what they come up with.

With the fresh blood coming in I think this could be a crazy year! My first party was at my parents house when James and I first started dating. I put so much effort into it and have grown to love the holiday. That first year I made it about sorcery and witchcraft. I had candles and books on spells and dreams. I had blown up and put together information on how to read your palm. I made carrot fingers and bloody hand punch. It was a slow start - but it got people talking. There wasn't much dancing that first party. Every year since then has built to include more people and crazier things.

Now I'm starting to panic. How can I outdo last year???

Our house is much bigger which means our decorations have to stretch further. With our current economic situation, I think bigger picture and won't be blowing a wad on getting all sorts of new stuff. I'm going to have to get creative. I hope that no one complains about how boring it is!

The night I became a Woo Girl

2009-10-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

You all know who they are - that group of girls that are out together and everything that excites them they "Woooo" with joy.

Last night - I became a Woo Girl and I have to admit - I kind of liked it.

Started out honestly enough, a bunch of people going out together for a 40th birthday party. Lisa and Vanessa decided to do a joint venture even though Vanessa's birthday isn't until December. Vanessa's sister Sarah was hosting in Ayr until it came time to head down to the Queens. Sarah is amazing, and spending time with this group of people always brings unexpected excitement. We've hung out with this group quite a lot over the past year or so and it was like I had joined kindred spirits. Those that liked to look good but didn't care if they also looked a little foolish. The kind of people that told me I looked beautiful even if I had adult acne or my hair was all greasy and sweaty. They like to have fun and just enjoy themselves. And more and more I've liked spending time with them. Strangely enough - I had always been the designated driver. Last night the tables were turning and I was FINALLY able to join in with the alcohol.

We had some babysitting to do before we left so by the time we arrived everyone had already had a few cocktails. Within minutes we were beered and the conversation turned a little crazy. Helps that the birthday girls got some naughty adult gifts. The drinks were flowing, the laughs were easy and the girls were ruling the roost!

By the time we got to the Queens everyone was laughing and ready to rock. The dj with his glorious 80's sweater was very accomodating as we were his audience. We immediately started dancing - soon the shots were coming and a whole lot of Wooing was going on. We were on top of the world and it was so much fun!

I haven't had a night like that in a long time. Okay, maybe since the last time I hung out with this zany crowd. I'm a Woo Girl. And I'm proud of it!

Totally Terrific Two

2009-09-28T19:17:00.000-07:00

Two years.

Wow.

As of tomorrow I will have been married for two years.

A long long time ago I told my mother that I wanted to be happy. I was going to marry for love and I was going to be happy. And now I've been married to a man for two years that can make me laugh - can tease me and have it not hurt my feelings and when he holds me I feel safe and warm.

I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Cheers to being cute and lucky!

2009-09-27T11:42:00.001-07:00

I may have just had the luckiest night of my life and it was in a location that I wasn't even supposed to be.

Back in the summer my husband and I went to a Tree Party. It was kind of a random thing that an old friend of my husband was throwing to celebrate the big Oak tree that he has at his new house. His yard is pretty secluded and he wanted to have everyone over to listen to some bands, have a bonfire and just generally hang out. It was such a different experience in that it started out really mellow and as the drinks flew people lost a few of their inhibitions. The police even came and strangely I laughed it off as really we were sitting around with a bunch of mellow hippies listening to music from someone playing a guitar. Apparently some neighbours complained.

This wasn't the type of party that I was used to going to and as I mentioned, these were friends of my husbands from back when he lived in Paris. He was so excited to see his old friends and was even more excited to find out that one of his friends was getting married and would love for James to go with him on his bachelor party and really wanted us to come to his buck and doe.

I was sceptical about all of it. James has been working for himself and money is tight. We don't know when the next payment will come in or when the next job so rather than count on everything being roses, I didn't feel comfortable spending money that we may not have had yet. We haven't used our credit cards yet and for that I still feel really good - but there was no way that I could justify him going to the bachelor party in New York or both of us going to the buck and doe. As I really don't know these people, I had told him that he could go by himself and it'd be much easier for us to not go over budget. I was going to send him on his merry way.

Yesterday being the day for the buck and doe I was looking forward to delving into my book and having some quiet time with me and The Dude. Then my parents show up and bring us some money for a photography project we had done for his car club and some money for our anniversary so that we could go out and have a good time. It was unexpected and we were both incredibly grateful. James told me that he'd really like if I could come with him and that we'd both watch our money and just keep it low key.

I was dreading going after barely knowing these people. I had never spent any quality time with any of them and I felt really bad about bringing down James' night. He was excited as these were guys he really liked and hates that he lost touch with them. After finding out that a friend that recently moved to Paris had nothing to do, I begged her to come. After all, it'd be much more fun hanging out together than just sitting around alone.

So we went to the buck and doe and were ready for anything. None of us had any expectations other than James who was looking forward to talking to his old crowd. We arrived and were surprised by the number of people there. The groom is now a teacher and I was surprised to find my old geography teacher was there. Carmen ended up knowing one of they guys that James went to high school with so she had some good conversations with him. We just did what we pleased, talked, laughed and had a good time.

The budget was on my mind so I had one glass of wine and then switched to the free pop. I luckily bought some karaoke insurance when I came in which saved me some embarrassment later on (thank god!) They had a game set up as a Wii Challenge. Surprisingly there wasn't that many takers for the game so we got to play right away. I faced off against Carmen and in three short rounds she had dispensed of me. James came up against Carmen and they had a tight match of really long fights but she also got rid of him. They brought back the other most winning guy - and she destroyed him very quickly. After seeing this the guy who was running wanted to give a go. He thought he could down her - but she quickly got rid of him. She earned the name Yoda and even destroyed another challenger later in the night. This got her two free drink tickets.

We laughed at her prowess and spent a lot of time chatting when they started calling door prizes. I NEVER win anything at these things so I was shocked when suddenly they called my number. After reviewing the table I had two options - something for me or something that would be a gift for someone. Carmen, my partner in crime, told me that I had to choose something for me. Why not - it was something I had won right?

This was how I came to be in possession of a $25 gift certificate for Dairee Delite in Brantford. If you have never had the pleasure - you are missing out. Soft ice cream, lots of flavours and combos. Absolutely amazing. My personal favourite involves liquid peanut butter and peanut butter cups over soft serve chocolate ice cream. It's so filling but so delicious. I'm drooling just thinking about it!

With my luck I said "I should buy lottery tickets." Some time passed. James ate a sandwich and I decided to get some tickets for the raffle. There was a prize I had my eye on. Paid for 5 tickets, they gave me 6. Score for me! I wrote James' name on one and told him "You are always lucky - pick whatever you want." We strolled on over, I put four of my tickets in the "Dinner and a Movie package" and decided to put one in the "Spa" package that included a facial gift certificate and a blanket. Ultimately I wanted the dinner and a movie and so did James so we had our fingers crossed. If I won the spa package the blanket would've been Carmen's as she was my lucky charm. She said it was a great deal as by this point someone in the wedding party started giving her free drinks. The girl said "I don't know what it is about you but I feel that you need free drinks." I think the bridesmaid thought she was cute and was hitting on her and who were we to complain when her and James got to drink for free the rest of the night.

We laughed at Carmen's cuteness and her and James' competition to see who could drink the most and the fastest. (It ended in a tie by the way.) And we just enjoyed being there. It came time for the raffle draws and when they come to the draw for the dinner and a movie my ears perked up. James said "And the winner is Corina McHarris" and he's suddenly echoed with "And the winner is Corina Harris." I was dumbfounded. Couldn't believe it. I have NEVER won anything like it ever before.

The prize is fabulous - a $50 gift certificate for dinner at a variety of restaurants including one of my favourites Milestones. The movies include passes for two, popcorn, pop and candy. It's insane. Pretty much an $80 prize. Add that to my door prize of $25 and I walked away a complete winner.

My pockets were down $20 and now up $105! Maybe it's not too late to get some lottery tickets.

Heaven help the knitting challenged.

2009-09-19T07:04:00.000-07:00

Somehow I have decided that I need to learn to knit. Again.

Back when I was 14 I decided to take some time off Ringette and learn how to knit and to do archery. I know - weird eh? I thought I'd take a chance at something new. Knitting was a way to fill my time when I wasn't completing the robin hood portion of archery. Robin Hood - Like kindergarten was beginner archery. They gave us plastic bows and real arrows and let us have a go at shooting targets. I got pretty good but wasn't nearly at the level of my friend who was already using crossbows. Shelly was quite talented.

Anyhow - my grandmother and my mother got me started on knitting. They gave me a spare set of needles, some off white yarn and set me off. I began to create a very fat scarf that I was going to give to my grandma. Unfortunately I got so bored with archery and knitting that I went back to Ringette in January and I never finished the scarf.

Thanks to twitter and a new friend, I found that I loved hearing about her knitting projects. On facebook a friend that went to my high school kept posting gorgeous shots of dresses, hats, mits, scarves, socks and anything else you could imagine. More and more I kept thinking, I should really learn to knit, even if it is just to finish a single scarf. I figure it's a good skill for a woman to have so that her grandkids will love her projects and cherish them. And lets face it - there are some gorgeous yarns out there.

So my hubby and I took off to Wal-Mart one night only to find that they had a bunch of yarn in ther clearance section. I picked up two. One big ball that his multicoloured and will give a big flair to a project and a smaller ball of gorgeous grey yarn that feels really nice to touch. About a week later we went to Zellers on a random mission to find girl things, and we started looking at needles. I had no idea how many needles are out there and all the options! There are different lengths and widths and types. They even have bamboo needles that look like drumsticks! After laughing at the drumsticks, I settled on 3.75mm and the length just slightly shorter than the longest length. They reminded me of the needles I used the first time I learned to knit so I didn't think I could go wrong.

After coming home James and I set up in the basement to watch a movie and I was bound and determined to learn to knit thanks to the interwebs. I watched some videos on the ipod - and learned how to cast on. Wow - can I ever cast on like a mo-fo. I was feeling pretty good but then I wanted to learn how to knit a row. Because let's face it, every project needs a start right?

I was horrible! Every time I tried to knit a row I would lose stich after stich and have to go back to the casting on. Which - may I remind you - I am a prostar. After having to restart my project four times and many an expletive coming out of my mouth, James decided to help me. After all - movie was over, Patrick Swazye was out surfing the giant waves off the coast of Australia and Keanu Reeves would never again be in the FBI. So he hooked up our television PC and found some videos. The first one had me more confused than ever. We tried watching someone else who did tutorials. The problem was, she would talk as she was starting the first line and only showed you what she did when she got to the middle. That didn't help me becuase how could I get to the middle if I couldn't even get the first real stich moved to the other needle let alone to the middle of the project.

We tried to get me to learn the pearl, but it was just as bad as learning the traditional knit stich. Nothing seemed to be going right but darn it, I had some beautiful casting!

With it being after midnight, it clearly wasn't a good time to be learning anything new so we headed to bed. My dreams were filled with knitting projects everywhere! Didn't help that we found this cool website that had pictures of crazy knitting projects for car antennas and lampposts and street signs. Here's a post that kind of covers it - but the ones we found last night were crazier and from New York not London.

So it's another day - I'm away and I'm determined. I've got my needles all revved up and I'm going to try again. Heaven help the knitting challenged.

My mom the spammer

2009-09-01T15:28:00.000-07:00

My mother has turned into a spammer.

I know, I know, who would ever think that my mother, the sweet loving woman that she is would turn into a spammer. But the evidence is there every single day. Turn to my email account only to find at least 5 new emails. It's gotten so bad, that I only check the email account once a week - rather than once a day like was my normal habit.

I have been told I love you in multiple ways - mostly through poems that someone else has written and my mother feels the need to pass on. I've been referred to as one of her sisters, and one of her best friends - as don't you know, us sisters will stand by each other through thick and thin.

My favourite are the completely embarrassing jokes about penises that she has to forward on to give me a laugh. Again - did I mention that I only check my email once a week?

Today I logged on and had 27 new messages - 21 from Mom.

What's nice is that I know by her forwarding these she wants to share with me that she's been thinking of me. She knows that I love her and she wants to share a good joke or story with me. For that brief moment when she chooses to hit send, she's telling me that she cares. In this day and age where we both get busy doing other things, it's nice to know that she's there.

Now if I could just get her to reply to my emails....

You are NOT the father!

2009-08-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

Taking a sick day. Felt a little off yesterday, but when I barely slept all night and woke up with stomach cramps and the feeling that I couldn't get warm enough - I knew it was probably smart to stay home.

So I'm partaking in some of the best daytime tv has to offer - Paternity tests on Maury.

I will never deny that I love this show - because it truly is television genius. Maury gives us people a chance to find out "who's my babies daddy?" He won't just give you two tests between two men - he'll do as many tests as needed. And that folks is brilliant.

Being a single parent is tough, but when you have someone denying he's your baby daddy - that's gotta hurt. Now when you have 5 guys denying, that's really gotta hurt. I personally can't imagine ever going on Maury and pouring out all my sexual encounters - but I've never been in that situation before. (Thank God!)

The Maury show uses the DNA Diagnostic Center to do the majority of their testing. Just to see how insane the amount of testing there is, follow this link. That many people - that many tests. It's crazy. And that list only goes to 2007. They've been on the Maury show since 2002!

Here are some highlights from Maury's DNA testing:

The youngest girl to need a DNA test was a 12 year old girl who wanted to test a 13 year old boy - sadly - he was NOT the father.
A 15 year old came on the show to announce that she's had sex more than 300 times.
One of the most notorious segments had a white woman tell a white man that he wasn't the father of her black baby - he was shocked and couldn't believe it. You can see the awesome segment here.
A woman has tested 11 men - can't exactly say sloppy seconds when you get into the double digits - and even the 11th guy was NOT the father
The most potential fathers to be tested is 18
A man who had a girlfriend, then slept with her 13 year old daughter - had the audacity to call them sluts. What do you call what he did? Same man got shot in the buttox and thinks he can't father kids. Maybe he's right because he was NOT the father.
An awesome black man named Harry denied being a father because one of the kids is bowlegged. Turns out he doesn't only have one - he's got 8 kids as was confirmed on this exciting episode.
Best quote on the show "I'm not that type of female"

For so many reasons, Maury truly is the best thing on TV in the morning hours and the best part of being home sick. And for your viewing pleasure, here's a delicious video. It's not a paternity test, but man it's funny. Enjoy!

Visions of Vistas

2009-08-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a really long time since I've had a vision. Yet tonight, driving home after watching the delicious Julie & Julia, I forgot where I was. The sun had just set and the light blue rim of sky hadn't completely gone black yet. Clouds were on the horizon The way the light hit them, it looked just like mountains in the distance. For a few moments, I honestly thought I was there.

I haven't been longing the mountains in a really long time. If you, my faithful few readers, weren't aware - I lived in a mountain town in the Canadian Rockies for 9 months. The mountains alloted me the chance to find myself again and I truly treasured my time there and the friendships I made. Tonight, I wasn't missing my friends from the mountains, as I know they are still around - but I was missing the mountains themselves.

When I finally figured it out that I wasn't seeing mountains and that I was seeing clouds, my heart felt a loss. There is something so majestic and so powerful about being there. It makes you feel so small, but so alive. I felt that I could be anything I wanted to be. It was not only majestic, it was magical.

A gift to myself when I was turning 30 - getting a tattoo with two mountains a moon and a star. I now forever have them with me.

This past weekend I took a trip with some friends to a cottage in north-central Ontario. There was something truly calming about being near rock, trees and water. Man, I need to get out more.